BTS Oneshots

We All Get Lost Sometimes (You Know?)

{taehyung x reader}
{words: 1629}
{genre: slight angst and fluff}

"Y/n!" The loud voice snapped you out of your thoughts. Taehyung, your best friend, was watching you intently. You had to will yourself not to blush, as you always did when he looked at you longer than a glance or accidentally brushed your hands whilst walking beside each other. "Didn't you hear me talking to you?"
You tugged on your sleeves, debating telling him what you were going through. You quickly pushed that thought from your mind. He had his own negativity to deal with; he didn't need your hurt on top of his.
"No, sorry. Say it again?" you pleaded. The boy leaned back in his chair, scrutinizing you.
"Something's wrong. What is it, doll?" At the nickname, your heart gave a leap, but it was only momentary. He didn't mean anything by it, of course. He was just being his usual sweet self. Nothing to hope for, you reminded yourself. You weren't feeling very hopeful anyways, as the cruel words you had heard about yourself resurfaced, pounding in your mind like a headache.
"Nothing's wrong. Don't worry." You attempted a smile. Judging by his face, however, it was apparent that he wasn't buying it. Time for Plan B; escape. "I'm going to go use the restroom, I'll be right back." You practically ran out of the room, dying to be away from the boy who knew your every expression. He was also the boy who could tell when you were lying. Taehyung watched you retreat while biting his nails. He didn't know what was wrong, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to help you fix it.
You, however, were doing all you could not to start sobbing in the guest bathroom. Voices echoed and typed words flashed before your mind's eye. Useless. A waste of space. Unlovable. These were just a few of the cruelties you'd had flung at you. And for what? You weren't rightly sure. You supposed that sometimes people were mean just to be mean, but that didn't make it hurt any less.
A little tap at the door broke you from your rumination. "Can I come in?" Taehyung's deep, melodic voice drifted to you through the wood. You sighed. He knew you couldn't say no to him.
"It's unlocked," you replied begrudgingly. Taehyung entered, hands tucked in his pockets. He stood before you, close enough that you could smell his signature minty scent.
"How are you feeling, beautiful?"
You scoffed. "Anything but beautiful." Your mask of sarcasm couldn't deter Taehyung. He could see the you hiding beneath your defenses. Maybe that was why you loved him. Maybe that was why he made you more uncomfortable than anyone else. Those knowing brown eyes made you squirm, made you melt, made fall deeper in love everyday.
And how he couldn't see that, you had no idea.
"Turn around," he whispered, pulling you back to reality and gently directing your movements. You were greeted with the sight of yourself in the mirror, with Taehyung standing just behind. You watched him take a step forward and felt the warmth of his chest against your back. With shaking hands, you braced yourself against the counter to recover from the start his proximity gave you. He had no idea what he did to you. You hoped he couldn't feel your heartbeat against his chest. The two of you watched as he gently wrapped his arms around your waist.
"Look," came his breathless command. "What do you see?" You gazed at your reflection for a moment. The voice inside your head seemed to scream out everything you were feeling, everything you didn't want him to know. Instead of answering, you averted your gaze. He sighed, and his breath tickled your ear. "Y/n," he called, once again turning you so that you faced him. However, you still did not look at him, worried that your expression might give him insight to just how broken you felt. You were at an impasse; your mind would not let you quietly move past the hurt, and your pride would not let you share your burden with Taehyung.
Your best friend moved to hug you, burying his face in your neck. You made a half-hearted attempt to hug him back. You were just too emotionally drained to show the affection that you (undeniably) had for him. Quickly, he pulled away from your embrace.
"Y/n, if you don't feel like hugging, then don't hug. Don't feel obligated just because I'm someone you care about." Taehyung admonished you sternly. You finally let out the choked sob you'd been repressing.
"I'm sorry, Tae. It's not you, I just- I just feel so worthless right now. And you treating me like this - so well - I can't help but feel like I don't deserve any of it." Hanging your head, you wrapped your arms around yourself, allowing the tears to flow freely. Slowly, Taehyung sank to his knees before you, trying to get in your line of sight. You watched as he sighed and absentmindedly toyed with the laces on your shoes.
"I just wish I was better at helping you," he choked. Your heart broke watching your best friend - and the boy you were in love with - willingly try to take all of your pain on his shoulders. The emotions that flooded your heart rendered you unable to speak. You reached forward, carding your fingers through his soft strands of hair. Leaning into your touch (as he always did, while you never seemed to notice), he met your eyes. Tentatively, he entwined his hands with yours. He didn't break eye contact as his plush lips kissed your palms. You were certain he could see the blush you couldn't hide behind your captive hands, and had a sneaking suspicion that that was perhaps the reason he held them so tightly.
"I wish," Taehyung began, slowly placing his kisses up the length of your arms as he spoke, "that you could see yourself through my eyes. Because if you you looked inside yourself and saw what I see, you'd never dream of questioning your beauty. Or your worth." He left the longest kisses on the underside of your wrist. His tenderness made your breath hitch. "I wish-" he cut himself off with a sigh and bit his lip, hesitating.
"W-what do you wish?" you dared to ask. Taehyung's piercing gaze was filled with fierce passion.
"So many things."
You cleared your throat and drew a shaky breath. "Tell me."
"I wish you were mine. I wish that when I came home from work, you were there to kiss me. I wish that when we hung out with friends, you would still come sit on my lap, because goddammit Y/n, it feels like you belong there. I wish that you slept in my bed. I wish that the first thing you heard when you woke up is me telling you how gorgeous you are. I wish that the last thing you heard at night was me saying how much you meant to me. Because you do. You mean everything to me. I bet you didn't know that, huh? That you are the most important person in my life? That I... that I love you?" Taehyung sneaked a look up at your face. He appeared so small with his soft, puppy-like eyes; you wanted with everything in you to hold him and never let go. Before you could act on that impulse, however, Taehyung tore his eyes away and continued. "You're probably listening to this, thinking I'm crazy, but I wanted you to know. I needed you to know."
He stared fixedly at his hands, which now dropped into his lap. The confession seemed to have exhausted him; his shoulders sagged and his breath came out in small pants. Attempting to process this unexpected information was a job. Taehyung really was your wild card.
Yours.
Yours?
You realized with a start that you hadn't answered him.
"Tae!" you gasped. He flinched at your sudden cry. The fidgety boy bit his lips. Finally, you crouched down alongside him, forcing him to meet your eyes with your hands cupping his cheeks. You felt as if your chest could burst. All of the words of joy, affirmation, and love that you wanted to lavish on him got swallowed up by that warm, bubbly feeling in you stomach. There was only one thing left to do.
You kissed him.
Taehyung sat rigid for a moment, not quite believing his senses. It wasn't until you pulled away, flashing him a grin, that the full weight of your action struck him. Taehyung smiled dazzlingly back, and crashed your lips together. It was a messy kiss, what with the giggling, touching, and tongue. But that was you two; you were messy people. While you were entangled with him, you realized there was nothing wrong with that.
Another five minutes found you cuddled on the living room couch, a much more comfortable spot than the tiles of your restroom. (How were you going to tell your friends that yours and Taehyung's first kiss was on the bathroom floor?) As you whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears, you brushed the bangs from his forehead.
"I don't deserve you," you stated in a hushed tone.
"Don't say that. As long as we love each other, then you deserve me and I deserve you. We're equals. That's how relationships work." You swallowed and nodded. Maybe that was true, but you were sure - deserving or undeserving - you would never take this boy for granted.
"I am thankful for you," you corrected yourself. Taehyung grinned and kissed your forehead.
"Baby, I am thankful for you too."