Saudade (Joshler)

🥀sixteen🥀

Josh walked into the school building nervously.  After a week of staying in the hospital, he was finally released. Since he missed most of his senior year, he had to retake twelfth grade. Josh felt small, with everyone's eyes on him. He heard many whispers from many different people.

Ryan walked up to him, rolling his eyes, "move along, everyone. Get to class."
Everyone quickly averted their gazes and scrambled to get to their classes. Ryan smiled at Josh, "how does it feel to be out of the hospital?"

Josh gulped, "good, I'm a little nervous."

Ryan patted Josh's shoulder, "don't worry, everything will turn out fine." Ryan nudged Josh, "c'mon, lets get to class."

Josh nodded and the two walked down the hall. They had given josh the same schedule as Ryan, knowing they had been friends before. The two friends walked into the classroom and josh blushed. Everyone stared at him with shock.

Josh glanced to Ryan nervously, "why is everyone staring at me?"

Ryan shrugged and whispered back, "a rumor was spread that you died and everyone just kind of went a long with it."

Josh nodded and the teacher sighed, "alright, everyone, enough staring. Josh, were happy to have you back, are you doing well?"

Josh nodded, "y-yes, ma'am."

She smiled, "wonderful, you may sit by Ryan."

Ryan sat in his seat and josh sat next to him. Josh still felt a pair of eyes on him. He slowly turned his head to see Tyler sitting on the other side of Ryan. Their gazes fell into each other. Tyler's eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open.

He flinched when the teacher called his name, "Tyler, may I please have your attention?"

Tyler looked at his desk as a few giggles were heard, "s-sorry."

Josh forced himself to pull his gaze away from Tyler's. Ryan leaned in and whispered, "are you ok?"

Josh nodded, "I'm fine."

Josh ran his hands down his face, letting out a long sigh. He didn't pay attention for most of the class. He stole many quick glances at Tyler, just wanting to hug him. The bell rang and josh stood up shakily. Ryan was talking to Tyler and josh walked passed them quickly.

Ryan called out, "I'll meet you next period, ya?" Josh nodded and glanced at Tyler, who was staring at him. Tyler smiled weakly. Josh faked a smile back and rushed out of the classroom.

In his rush, he ran into someone in the hall. He fell over and the guy let out a chuckle, "in a rush?"

Josh blushed from embarrassment and quickly stood up, "I'm, s-so sorry. I should have been paying attention."

The student shooed him, "it's no big deal. My names Jon, you are?"

Josh smiled, "my names josh."

Jon's eyes widened, "ah, your Josh. Your quite popular aren't you?"

Josh shrugged, "I wouldn't say popular."

Jon laughed, "no, I would say popular. I've heard a lot of stories, I thought maybe you were dead at first, but then I heard you were coming back to school."

Josh's chuckled, "ya, I was kind of surprised to hear that people thought I was dead."

Jon grinned with another laugh. Tyler and Ryan walked out of the classroom and Ryan came to Josh's side as Tyler walked the other way. Ryan glanced at Jon and rolled his eyes, "let's go, josh."

Josh nodded, confused at Ryan's reaction to seeing Jon, "oh, ok." Josh waved at Jon, "see you around, Jon."

Jon waved back, "Bye, josh. It was nice meeting you."

Ryan tugged josh down the hall, but josh looked back. He watched as Jon caught up to Tyler, pinning him against the lockers. Josh saw the small smirk that played Tyler slips and Jon gripped Tyler's waste. Ryan looked back to see what Josh's was staring at and frowned, "josh..."

josh felt tears forming in his eyes, "is that why Tyler doesn't want to be with me anymore? Because he's with Jon?"

Ryan quickly shook his head, "n-no! No, Tyler's not with Jon, they just fuck is all." Josh looked at Ryan with wide eyes and Ryan mentally slapped himself, "shit, that came out wrong. I'm so sorry, josh, I-"

"is Jon the only one? Do you think that's a sign that Tyler likes him?"

Ryan sighed, "Josh, I- do you want the real truth, or the truth that will help you sleep at night?"

Josh gulped, "the real truth."

Ryan looked at the floor, "no, Jon's not the only one."

Josh's face dropped, the hurt showing as clear as daylight, "who else?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't know, just some guys around the school. Maybe some he met at the bar." Josh looked back to where Jon and Tyler were, only to not see them anymore. He closed his eyes, forcing the tears away. Ryan placed his hand on Josh's shoulder, "josh, are you alright?"

Josh nodded, "ya, I'm fine. Let's get to class."

Ryan stopped him from walking, "josh, I swear, Tyler doesn't do this to hurt you. He has weird ways with coping with his depression...this is just one of them. Believe me when I tell you this, he's told me many times how the guilt always eats him away afterwards."

Josh nodded again, "ya, ok. Can we just get to class?"

Drammaaaa. Lolll. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!! Have a nice day/night!!

-JoJo
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