Saudade (Joshler)

🥀two🥀

Ok, so throughout the fic if there's anything worth putting a warning I'll put a little (🙊) when it starts and ends. This TW will be for mentioning of self harm

Tyler walked into Ryan's house and his mother smiled at him, "hello, Tyler. How are you?"

Tyler smiled back politely, "I'm fine, Mrs. Ross. Is Ryan in his room?" Danielle nodded her head and Tyler jogged up the stairs.

He entered Ryan's room and Ryan grinned, "hey, Tyler."

Tyler smiled back, "hey." Tyler sat on Ryan's bed and groaned, "I'm not ready for school to start back up. "

Ryan sat next to him, "hey, it's our last year of high school then we're free."

Tyler rolled his eyes, "I just don't wanna put up with all the teachers."

Ryan snorted, "I feel you. How was your visit at the hospital."

Tyler laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling, "I ran into Brendon there. He seemed surprised to see me, I know I was."

Ryan shrugged, "well, you guys haven't really talked in a while."

Tyler looked at Ryan and tilted his head, "do oh still talk to him?"

Ryan nodded his head, "ya. We went and had some Taco Bell just a few days ago."

Tyler looked back at the ceiling, "oh."

Ryan stood up, "do you want something to drink?"

Tyler nodded and stood up along with him. They walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Tyler sat on top of the counter and swung his legs. Ryan opened the fridge, "uh, I've got coke, apple juice, and uh, milk."

Tyler shrugged, "I'll take a coke." Ryan grabbed a coke and tossed it to Tyler, who caught it with a glare, "one day your gonna miss and it'll explode everywhere."

Ryan snorted, "good thing you're good at catching."

Ryan grabbed himself a coke and sat next to Tyler on the counter. Ryan poked Tyler's ribs, "is this Josh's hoodie?"

Tyler nodded, "ya, it was one of the ones he left at my house."

Ryan gave Tyler a half smile, "you must really miss him."

Tyler looked down at the sweater, playing with the fabric with his free hand, "ya."

Ryan tilted his head, "do you still love him?"

Tyler looked at Ryan before looking down at the sweater again, "I don't know. It's just been so long, y'know?"

Ryan frowned, "ya, but he'll wake up. I know he will."

(🙊)

Ryan grabbed Tyler's wrist and lifted the sleeve. Tyler didn't flinch away, he was used to this. Ryan knew he cut and was constantly trying to help him. It never worked. Ryan examined his wrist, "are there any new ones?"

Tyler looked down at his arm, "ya."

Ryan glanced at Tyler, "where?"

Tyler set down his coke and lifted the sleeve of his other arm. There was a rather large, fresh scar. Tyler sighed, "I cut a little deeper than I wanted to but nothing too severe."

Ryan ran his finger over it and Tyler flinched. Ryan pulled his finger away, "does it still hurt?"

Tyler bit his lip, "a little."

Ryan got off the counter and Tyler watched him open one of the cabinets. He pulled out a first aid kit and walked back to Tyler. Ryan grabbed the cloth wrap and held out his hand.

Tyler sighed and placed his hand in Ryan's. Ryan began wrapping Tyler's arm to where it covered all of his forearm. Tyler smiled weakly at Ryan, "thanks."

Ryan smiled back, "that's what friends are for, to look out for one another."

Ryan put he first aid away and sat back in his spot on the counter.

(🙊)

Ryan held up his coke and grinned, "cheers to friendship."

Tyler rolled his eyes playfully and held up his own coke, "cheers to friendship." They tapped their cans before taking a drink.

🥀🥀🥀

Tyler walked into the Taco Bell, his hands in his hoodie's pockets as he walked up to the counter. He forced a smile at the lady who took his order and he walked to one of the booths in the back.

He rested his arms on the table and laid his head on top. He stared out the window, everything looking sideways. Everything looked different, with the new view. He closed his eyes for a brief moment before opening the again.

"Mind if I sit?"

Tyler lifted his head to see Hayley smiling softly at him. Tyler shrugged his shoulders and Hayley sat across from him. She tilted her head, "I haven't seen you in a while, how are you?"

Tyler shrugged again, "could be better."

Hayley nodded, "ya...have you seen him any time soon?"

Tyler nodded, "yesterday."

The worker came up with Tyler's food and he muttered a thank you. Tyler began eating his taco and Hayley looked out the window. "I really haven't been able to see him, my job has kept me really busy. How's he doing?"

Tyler let out a huff, "still asleep, if that's what your talking about."

Hayley nodded, "I see."

Tyler stood up, grabbing his bag of food, "I should get going."

Hayley stood up, "alright, I'll see you around."

Hayley wrapped her arms around Tyler and Tyler tensed up. He didn't know why he was being so awkward around Hayley, they used to be such close friends. Maybe that was if. Maybe it was the fact that they parted ways and hugging her again was alien to him again.

Tyler hesitantly wrapped his arms around her before letting go. He began walking away, but Hayley stopped him again, "uh, Tyler...you dropped this."

Tyler turned around to see her holding out his pack of cigarettes. "Oh," he muttered.

He reached out for them, but Hayley pulled her hand away, frowning, "I really don't think you need these, Tyler. There bad for you."

Tyler scowled, "you not my mom, Hayley. So give them to me...please."

Hayley saw the pleading look Tyler was giving her and sighed. She dropped the pack in his hand and he muttered a thank you. Before Tyler could walk away, Hayley gripped his wrist. Tyler winced, but ignored the pain.

"I'm worried about you, Tyler. You used to be such a good kid, don't ruin that."

Tyler and her stared at each other. Hayley's face was pleading while Tyler's was blank. Tyler slipped his hand out of her grip and turned around, walking out of the Taco Bell quickly.

Hayley slumped her shoulders, "oh, Tyler, what are you doing to yourself?"

Ugh, I love writing this so far. If your wandering who the girl is in the photo, that's Hayley. She's so pretty it makes me jealous. Lolll. Hope you enjoyed!!! Have a nice day/night!!