Saudade (Joshler)

🥀twenty-one🥀

Tyler watched as everyone left the art room. Dodie was cleaning the board and Tyler approached her. She jumped slightly when Tyler tapped her shoulder. She chuckled, "oh, Tyler, you scared me."

Tyler blushed, "sorry. Uh, Mrs. Clark, can I talk to you?"

Dodie nodded, "of course you can. Is everything alright?"

Tyler sat down at one of the stools, "that one painting we talked about on day. The one that didn't have the name."

Dodie nodded, "I remember."

Tyler gulped, "it was mine."

Dodie smiled, "I know."

Tyler's eyes widened, "what? But you said you didn't-"

"I wanted to see if you would stand up. I wanted to see how long it took for you to admit your emotions."
Tyler looked at his hands and Dodie continued, "so, what makes you want to open up now?"

Tyler played with the hem of his sweater, "I-I want to get better...and I wanted your advice."

Dodie nodded, "I see, may I ask, why do you suddenly want to get better?"

Tyler smiled lightly, "a friend of mine showed me that I want to. He made me realize what a mess I was."

Dodie sat next to Tyler, "I'm glad you realized, Tyler."

Tyler let out a shaky sigh, "its just...this friend, I'm scared to break down my walls for him."

"How come?"

Tyler by his lip, "because it's josh. And I used to- no, I still do- love him. But I don't want to love him."

Dodie frowned, "why not?"

Tyler wiped his eyes, "because, I'm scared I'll only hurt him. I'm scared that I'll get hurt again."

"Does he still love you?" Tyler nodded and Dodie placed her hand over Tyler's, "Tyler, if you love him, and he loved you, why not? Love is hard, I understand, but love is also amazing. Sometimes, love is all you need to get better."

Tyler looked at Dodie, eyes wide, "how do you know for sure?"

Dodie shook her head, "I don't know for sure, because nothing is ever for sure. But does josh make you happy? Do you feel more happy around him?"

Tyler thought about it for a moment before nodding, "yes."

Dodie smiled, "then I want you to think about my words. You're a great kid, Tyler, you deserve to be happy. So if something makes you happy, don't throw it away."

Tyler smiled, "thank you, Mrs. Clark."

Tyler hugged her briefly before he stood up. He made his way to the door, but suddenly stopped. He looked at the ground and scratched the back of his neck, "uh, if it's ok with you, I'd like to continue taking this class."

Dodie grinned, "I would love if you continued this class Tyler. I'm glad you decided to stay."

Tyler smiled before exiting the room.

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Tyler walked into Ryan's house, "Ryan?"

Ryan came jogging down the stairs, "hey, dude. I thought you were under house arrest?"

Tyler smiled, "'I got permission. Mind if I hang out?"

Ryan grinned, "of course." The two went back upstairs and into Ryan's bedroom. "Arms out," Ryan demanded.

(🙊)

Tyler rolled his eyes, but held out both of his arms. Ryan pulled the sleeves up and unwrapped the one arm. He smiled, "looks like it's healing." He pressed a finger to the healing cut, "does it hurt?"

Tyler shook his head, "no, not anymore."

Ryan raised an eyebrow, "any new ones?" Tyler nodded and Ryan sighed. "Where."

Tyler pointed to two on his one arm and lifted up his jacket. There were many more scars that littered his stomach and he pointed to one close to his ribs. Tyler shrugged, "I've been having a rough week,"

Ryan nodded and hugged Tyler, "you don't need to tell me about it, just promise me you'll try to stop."

Tyler thought about his conversation with josh and nodded, "ok, I promise." He wanted to get better.

Ryan looked at Tyler shocked, "wait, you're seriously going to try to stop?"

Tyler nodded again, "ya, I'm going to try."

Ryan grinned and hugged Tyler again, "Tyler, in so happy for you! I know you can do it, I know you can fight it."

Tyler smiled, "thanks Ryan."

(🙊)

Ryan pulled away and let out a groan, "I'm hungry."

Tyler rolled his eyes, "your always hungry, but ya, I am too."

Ryan chuckled and stood up, "lefts go eat out asses off."

Tyler snorted, "I'm down."

Wow this is a pretty short chapter. Sorry bout that. It's kinda just a filler. It's currently raining outside but it's the good kind of rain. It's not the gloomy rain. I'm also watching star vs the forces of evil. Lolllll I'm such a kid. It's so intense tho, and why won't star and Marco just kiss?? Oh whale. ONE DAY IT WILL HAPPEN. Ok, well, hope you enjoyed the chapter!! Byeeeeee

-JoJo
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