Saudade (Joshler)

🥀thirty-eight🥀

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: attempts of suicide. Do not read chapter if you are not ok with that.

Tyler looked at his clock to see it was only five in the morning. He was walking down the sidewalk, looking in all directions, making sure no one was following him. He sat down on a bench and pulled out his phone. Dodie had given him her number just in case he ever needed help with anything. In a way, Dodie was like Tyler's therapists.

Tyler called her number and waited for an answer. Dodie answered, her voice groggy, "Tyler? It's five in the morning, what are you doing up?"

Tyler smiled to himself, tears forming in his eyes, "Mrs. Clark, I would just like to say...thank you. Thank you for everything you've done for me...and thank you for trying to help me."

"....Tyler, what-"

"I'm quitting the after school class."

Dodie was silent for a moment, "Tyler, where are you right now, I'll come pick you up?"

Tyler ignored her question, "bye, Mrs. Clark. Thank you."
"Tyler, don't hang up-"

Tyler hung up the phone and stood up. Tyler put his phone back in his pocket and made his way home. He crept inside, trying to be as quiet as he could. He walked into Kelly's bedroom, moving so slow that it was as if he wasn't moving. He winced every time the wood floor creaked. Tyler knelt down beside  the bed and reached underneath.

He reached around until he felt the cold metal touch his finger tips. He squeezed his eyes shut as he gripped onto it. Tyler quickly left the room and into his bedroom. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. He put a lot of time, choosing every word carefully. He finished it and folded it once before writing Josh's name on it. He put it under his pillow and walked into the bathroom, locking the door.

Tyler placed his forehead against the cold door. His breathing was uneven and he set the gun down on the counter. He made the mistake of looking in the mirror. What he saw wasn't him.

The Tyler he remembered had a smile, his eyes were bright and his skin glowed. The person he saw was numb, blank of any positive emotions. His eyes were full and he was pale. Tyler sat down against the door, closing his eyes.

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Josh woke up with Tyler gone. He looked over to see it was around five thirty. Josh sat up, "Tyler?" He didn't hear and answer and noticed his bedroom door was open. Josh scrambled out of bed and ran downstairs. "Tyler?!" Josh grabbed his car keys and ran out the door. He got in his car and began driving down the road.

He had a bad feeling in his gut and he couldn't just ignore it. Even if he was wrong. Josh pulled into the driveway of Tyler's house and ran inside the house. He ran into Tyler's room, "Tyler? Are you in here?" Josh heard a stifled sob coming from the bathroom. Josh knocked on the door frantically, "Tyler, baby, open the door."

"J-josh?"

Josh let out a shaky breath, "Tyler, open up. Please." "Josh, go away."

Josh let out a cry, "please, don't do this. Tyler, we can get passed this, just open the door. Open the door, please." Josh heard the cock of a gun and he nearly screamed, "Tyler! Please!"

"I love you, josh."

Josh began to pound on the door, "no no no no no no, Tyler, I love you. I don't want to loose you."

He let out another loud sob, "R-Rome. Tyler, we're gonna go to Rome. We're gonna get a house together and one day I'm gonna marry you. We'll have a family and it'll be amazing. Please, Tyler. Don't leave me, I need you. I fucking need you."

Kelly came running into the room and with Madison behind her. "Josh? What are you doing here?"

Josh turned to her with teary eyes, "h-he has a gun. I can't open the door."

Kelly's eyes widened and before she could take a step forward, a bang resounded through the house. Everything went silent.

Cliffhangerrrrrrrr. I do a lot of cliffhangers... don't I. Well, if I can I will update again today since this one was pretty short. Guys I absolutely love the song 'Fantasy' by Alina Baraz and the song 'slip into your skin' by Patrick Watson. You should listen to them. They're sooooo good. And soothing.

Anywayyyy, hope you enjoyed the chapter!! Have a nice day/night!!!! Byeeeeee

-JoJo
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