Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

Stop loving me!

Soondeok's diary

It still hurts...my head. I guess I must've drunk too much last night – I don't remember getting back, just that this morning I found myself on the bed when I woke up – Eun's not there. I apologized to mother for being drunk, but she wasn't mad at me, on the contrary, she encouraged me to meet up with them often and enjoy myself! I'm not sure if I remember right, but I heard them talking about the prince last night...something about him but I can't make out what...what a shame, I would've like to hear what they have to say about my husband.

Ah, my head...I wonder who carried me back last night – the feeling was...indescribable – very broad shoulders, steady steps, strong arms...could it be Jongin Oraboni? Or would it be Sehun Oraboni? Oh I don't know! I should've never drink more than one cup last night! Now they won't meet up with me again... Wait, I think Eun's coming back.

Eun's diary

HA! Unbelievable! Soondeok actually went out last night! And she was drinking with men – not one, not two, but three! Three men and herself drinking in the inn – right across the 2nd floor where I could see them clearly. One of them even carried her back home! How could they? Did Soondeok not tell them she's married? My mood was ruined – I don't know what made it so, the fact that my wife is there or the fact that she pretended she didn't see me? Yes, our eyes met last night, she was drunk but clearly she saw me because the moment our eyes met, she smiled but then kept pouring makgeolli into her cup.

I ought to teach her a lesson...but come to think of it, why should I care? Why would I care? Why did I care? I will file the divorce with her sooner or later – but why did I mind it so? Maybe it's because I saw her as what's mine – like my toys, my clothes...

She slept on the bed last night so I slept in her part of the room instead. Thankfully, mother didn't come in like last time.

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'Ya, Soondeok ah, you have something you need to say to me?'

'Your highness, what is it? Is something wrong?'

'No, I mean, do YOU have something to tell me?'

'Like what?'

'Oh, I don't know, maybe something like...why you were out last night, drinking with guys I don't know!'

'They were my friends. You don't expect me not having any friends do you?'

'Fine, I'll let that go. But why did you not introduce me to them when you saw me?'

'Didn't you say so? That if we ever meet outside I have to pretend I don't know you.'

'I...that was just...'

'Besides, what good would it bring to introduce you to them?'

'I'm your husband! Of course you have to introduce me! By the way, why didn't you tell me? That you were going out last night?'

'Would you have cared?'

'Probably not, but still! Are you trying to leave me? Ha! I see what you're doing! You dressed up pretty and looked like an angel last night because of that! You know I'll file the divorce two years later so you're hooking yourself up with those guys, am I right?'

'Your highness! Don't say such a thing!'

'Was I wrong? They'd probably love to marry you! Even if they make you their second wife you wouldn't mind, would you? Because you're so desperate for love!'

'Your highness! I love you! You! Why is it that up till now, you still can't see it? Yes, they are smarter than you, more handsome than you, loves me more than you, but I still love you! And because I love you, I told you about the divorce policy you would've otherwise never know! I love you, that's why I slept over there on the floor for months and didn't even once complain! I love you, that's why I will leave you!'

'Enough! Enough! Enough! Shut up you woman! Stop loving me! I don't deserve your love!'

'Your...your highness...'

'Yes, I'm stupid, I can't do anything! Why do you have to choose me? Why? Why did you ruin your life by marrying me? Why? Why do you have to love someone as worthless as I? Don't love me! Stop loving me you fool! I did nothing to deserve your love and never will!'

(Eun stomps out of the room)