Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

What am I to you?

Soondeok's diary

Ever since the children have come back, the house is ever so full of energy! Eun loves to play with them, but he said he won't have kids of his own. Too bad, I say he'd be a great father. I mean, just look at him playing with my nephews! He takes them out, carries them on his shoulders, plays football with them, goes hiking with them, he even plays hide-and-seek with them and tells them bed-time stories every night. Isn't he what they call a "perfect dad"? It brought me so much joy seeing them playing around – father seems to be happy too, seeing his son-in-law playing with his grandsons. Daddy...he looks like he has a lot in mind recently, is it because of the king? The king has been very sick lately, I hope he'll get well soon. Sister-in-law hasn't been feeling well lately, so I need to take care of her a bit. Mother sent us a letter a few days ago saying that the renovation is going smoothly and that she misses us a lot, hoping we'll have a great time here. I miss mother too. Maybe I should go back and visit her sometimes, just to make sure she's been completely cured. Me? I still cough a bit, I try to hold it in when I'm with someone, but it's hard to hold it in at night. Luckily, Eun hasn't noticed it. The nights are getting cooler as summer departs. I guess I really need to ask the maids for an extra blanket. The prince seemed cold last night, he curled up like a ball and huddled towards me. This morning, we were only a few inches apart. I don't want him to catch a cold like last time.

Eun's diary

It's a miracle I have the energy to write this at all! The boys! How could they run so fast? This morning they climbed trees together but Luhan got stuck on the top branch so I had to go up and get him down. Yes! That's what I did! For someone scared of heights, I'd say that's pretty heroic of me. To be honest, I didn't really think about it back then. The moment I saw Luhan crying and calling for help, I just jumped on the tree and reached for him without thinking twice. Is this what they call 'courage'? Like what they say, that parents will do anything for their kids, even die for them. If parents can love their kids to an extent they'll die for them...does that mean father doesn't love me? I mean, he did kick me out of the palace with mother, after which he sent someone to bring me back to the palace because I'm still of royal blood – but I really hated him for doing that, for separating me with mother. Mother loves me, that I know. But father...Soondeok's friend Jongin said that the king reserves a seat for me every time...oh I don't know! It's so confusing!

Recently, I've found it fun to talk to Soondeok at night – just like when I talk to Yixing when he's around. She envies me of having a big family, of having a mother...I've never really felt thankful for having them. I, on the other hand, wish I could be like Soondeok...to have a caring father who loves her, who takes her everywhere, who teaches her everything. If she had been born into the royal family while I was born into the grand general's, would our destiny be changed? Will we end up getting married as well? What if it is I who falls for the princess and wants to marry her so badly, wants her love so badly – which I'll never get? Soondeok ah...what's happening to me? Have we...become friends?

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Soondeok: 'Your highness, what are you doing? It's getting late, you should sleep.'

Eun: 'Just a moment...'

(Eun and Soondeok goes to sleep – storm hits, lightning flashes, thunder claps)