Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

Made for each other

Eun's diary

This morning before father left, he came into our room and told me to talk to him outside. Soondeok's sleeping deeply when he came, so I got up quietly and went out. He said he's leaving, with some of our servants and maids and won't be back for a while – he told me to take good care of Soondeok and stay with her all day. I promised him I would, he smiled, patted me on the shoulder and left after he had given me a letter – Soondeok's Onni has left her a letter. Should I give it to Soondeok today? Will that break her heart even more? Should I wait? And father...he looked frail, very frail this morning – unlike the warrior figure he had portrayed before. I think it was the first time he ever smiled at me. The pain, I believe, is tremendous...6 of his 9 children have died. My heart aches for him...reminds me of my father.

Soondeok didn't speak much last night, she's lost all energy – she cried too much. I cried too, because she cried. It hurts me to see her in grief...if only I can make her feel better...but I know it takes time, one must grief all she needs in order to stand up again. It reminds me of my childhood too much...I used to force myself not to cry, not to shed a single tear for those who left me, but I always give up in the end, I would sob under my blanket until I fell asleep.

Of all the times...why now? Soondeok and I were just getting closer together, we were so happy together...but I guess that's what's important. I have to be with her in good times, and I have to be with her even more in bad times. I'll take this opportunity to show Soondeok that I will love her even in difficult times, I will definitely do it. After all, the only time we know who are truly close to us are at times of adversity...the only way we can see the stars shining is when the sky is completely dark. I will be that star to Soondeok...but I can't help but think...is it my fault that her Onni died? It would seem...just when I got closer to Soondeok, this news hit us, it's like the curse is back, should I just return to being her brother, will that keep her safe?

She's still sleeping, she must've been so tired – both physically and mentally, I doubt she slept a wink last night. The house is quiet now, very quiet. My nephews moved to their grandparents' house out of town because of the funeral and all. Most of the servants and maids went with father...Mindeok hyung and his wife are here. The house, though no one is weeping, I can still hear it ringing everywhere...there's no greater separation then death...I don't want it to happen to me again. Not if I can help it. I think I need to tell Soondeok about it...about me being his brother again, but maybe not now. Yes, I have made up my mind, I'll just stay as his brother...maybe this could stop the curse...

Wait, I think I hear Soondeok getting up.

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(After breakfast)

'Feeling better now, Deok ah?'

'Thank you...for the meal...Oppa...I feel better now...'

'S...Soondeok ah...there's something I need to give you...I've thought about it for a long time, whether I should give it to you or not...but I think I should, it wasn't mine to keep...it wasn't mine to decide anyway.'

(Eun takes the letter out and gives it to Soondeok)

'I hope I'm doing the right thing. I hope this will comfort you...it's from your Onni.'

(Soondeok stares at the letter for a long time)

'Deok ah...if you don't want to read it, I can take it away. If you want to read it later, I can keep it. If you want me to read it for you, I can do that.'

(Soondeok looks at Eun with her grey eyes)

'Oppa...you...you read it for me...if that's okay...'