Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

Wish upon a star

Soondeok's Diary

Turn of events, I'm still here, I'm still with Eun, my beloved husband, who has yet to wake up. I've officially become his woman now, and though I do not want to admit it, I've been waiting for this to happen, for a very long time.

But, am I doing the right thing? Now that we're all in this together, there's no turning back. Will I disappoint Eun? Will he be disappointed if I fail to give him a child? Will I be disappointed in myself? What if there's no happy ending for both of us if we stay together? That all the good times we wish for, is nothing but fleeting dreams?

I'm afraid that all these will happen soon, and yet at the same time, I know I should at least hope that heaven will bless our marriage. We've been through ups and downs together, Eun and I, surely our marriage is destined to happen, our bonds are destined to be made, but why do I keep having this feeling that something's out of place?

Is it me? Or is it Eun? I just wish that he will be happy, and that I won't be the one stopping him from getting that. But, like what he said, I can't constantly worry about what might happen and miss the precious moment in front of me now. I'll try to, I really will.

It still hurts, a bit, but it's not as bad as my period cramps, luckily. The feeling truly is magical, there's no way to describe now pleasant it felt. Pleasant, not because of what we did, but because of the message we conveyed to each other, that I love the prince as much as he loves me, that there's nothing in between us, nothing that can separate us. Eun was so considerate last night, I can feel that he really loves me as much as he claims, and though he was a bit clumsy, he's still my one and only husband – the best gentlemen in all of Goryeo.

Clumsy, yes, will be the word I use to describe what happened last night. Eun thought he knew everything, but I suppose he didn't – to be frank, maybe I should be happy he's clumsy like that. Like what he said, it means that he's inexperienced, that I really am is first one. I still have yet to experience the greatest satisfaction yet, but I believe in my husband. Practice makes perfect. Oh gosh, I'm blushing hard right now.

I suppose I must go to him after this and see if he's still alive. Jokes, he seems very exhausted – I hope he didn't catch a cold, we were in the rain last night, he dragged me out into the rain, thinking he's some kind of hero. Speaking of which, I should apologize to Yuju for messing up her party, I should also file a complaint to the hotel for sending my letter in advance. But is it their fault? I wouldn't say so. If Eun is destined to stop me from leaving, I suppose the letter wouldn't have made much difference.

Oh, he's awake now, gotta go.

Eun's diary

My whole body aches. It's a miracle I can walk at all this morning. I guess I must've used up all my energy last night. Soondeok's taking it easy, if I hadn't known any better, I'd say she likes it a lot!

I don't think I can write anymore, my arm is burning like mad from writing this. I'm starving now, hope Soondeok will come in with breakfast soon.

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'Deok ah~ My arm aches...why are you making me do this?'

'Because it'll help your arm ache less.'

'Carrying books will help my arm ache less. Well, that just makes perfect sense, doesn't it?'

'It's either this or running lapse.'

'Deok ah...my legs ache too...'

'That's why you should move them more today, Oppa! Aigoo, look at you...and you said I won't be able to leave the bed for 3 days...seems like you were referring you yourself when you said it.'