Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

I was your dream?

Soondeok's diary

I saw the queen yesterday. Like what they say, she's pure evil. It makes me wonder sometimes, how can someone so elegantly dressed be able to have such an ugly heart? I didn't tell Eun about how she slapped me...it shocked me, really. To imagine how mother lived under her shadow before she got kicked out...and the king's other wives as well. Maybe Eun's right, there's nothing to be happy about being born into the royal family. I will deal with the queen, I will find out what really happened, I will clear mother's name, I will protect Eun and get rid of her.

Eun hugged me from behind again last night as I was about to sleep. Is this going to become a regular thing? This time, his hug was tighter, I could feel his heart beating, his chest moving as he breathes...and his hands...they were...closer. I liked it. Weird, right? Initially I disliked the idea, but then, I wanted more of it. Dear me, I can't help but blush as I think about it now.

Let's talk about something else. Luhan told me to give Eun a kiss last night...I forgot to. Such a cute child he is, I hope Oraboni will let him pursue his dream. I'm glad father let me pursue mine. What's the prince's dream? I haven't asked him about it...he'll have one, right? What about mine?

Eun's diary

I've got a big mission today – I will make Soondeok ride again. I will help her overcome her trauma today. That way we can race again! That way we can travel to the south sea before winter comes! That way, I can make her smile today. It won't be easy, but I'll give my best shot today.

She got mad at me yesterday, but I found it cute of her – she didn't talk to me and won't answer me, so I told her I'll sleep first. Ha! That girl! She actually came in real late, I'm sure she wanted to come in after I've fallen asleep. I didn't sleep, I waited for her, like a crocodile waiting for its prey. Finally, she came in, I thought I'd die waiting! She slowly slid into the blanket and turned away from me – then I jumped to her like a beast and caught her in my arms. It's the first time I surprised her like that, her reaction's just so funny! Maybe I should do that more often. And then we laughed real hard, I haven't laughed like this for ages! My stomach still hurts from laughing so hard last night. 

It's become harder for me to sleep at night lately, I can't stop imagining. Hugging her helps, but the urge will just be stronger after I let go. I'm afraid I really will lose control one day. The quicker we return to my place, the better – I can't stand sleeping with Soondeok on the same bed anymore. If this keeps up...it's only a matter of time before she carries my child. Not that I don't want that to happen...it's just, I'm not ready for it. I'm barely living up to the role of a husband, how will I be able to handle that of a dad? No, I will wait. I'll just need to keep my minds on other things.

Uh, I met the queen yesterday. I really wanted to punch her in the face, I sure will! But I'm glad Soondeok stopped me...I would've gotten myself into trouble if I did. This emotion of mine, I guess I need to control it more – like what Soondeok said, I can't act according to my feelings anymore. I'm an adult now. What a sad statement...

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'Oppa...where are you taking me?'

'No, don't open your eyes yet. Just follow me, hold my hands tight. Careful, there's a step here. There you go.'

'Wait...where are we? I smell...I smell...'

(Soondeok stops)

'Your highness...I can't.'

'Deok ah, trust Oppa, okay? Trust me.'

(Soondeok opens her eyes, she starts to tremble and takes a step back)