Diary Entry - Eundeok Married Life (Baekhera) [COMPLETED]

I want to...

Eun's diary

I can't sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I just can't sleep. I feel like my heart's going to burst with all these feelings – mixture of them, I'm happy because Soondeok's right next to me, yet I'm sad that I can't tell her the truth, I'm angry at myself for not protecting our child and I'm anxious about her knowing what I've been trying to hide. Will I get better? Will I be able to smile at my wife once again, from the bottom of my heart? This bitterness, is it possible to cast away? I'll bring her to the mountains tomorrow, hope the ride will refresh my mind a bit; time, I'm afraid, is the only cure for my shattered heart.

I'm glad my wife's getting better now, just like what the doctor said, she's back to her old self – her old healthy energetic cheerful self, just like when I first loved her. In fact, can I say it like so? When exactly did I start to love her? I've never quite pondered upon this question, because it would seem that it came silently – yet so suddenly! Slowly, I began to like her, yet without myself knowing – is that still love? Or does love count when one realizes the love that's been ignited for a while?

Why am I talking about this here? Yes, the silent winter night has this ability in making me think about things. I'm tired now, I think I'll be able to sleep – as expected, words and books do help me sleep, just like back in those times when I took lessons with my brothers. I wonder how they're doing. I miss Yixing, I hope he's doing fine as well.

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(Morning. Soondeok opens her eyes and stares blankly at the ceiling, wondering if all that has happened the previous night really did happen or it was all but a dream. She doesn't have to worry long, because her husband's presence is soon detected by his soft snore. Soondeok chuckles as she turns to look at her beloved prince, from the top of the head to the loose pajama top which showed a hint of his bare chest.)

'Aigoo...he must've been tired...'

(Soondeok traces Eun's facial features with her finger in mid-air, marvelling at how handsome her husband has become day after day. His eyes so peaceful, his nose so tall, his lips so inviting, his cheeks so soft – Soondeok can really spend all day gazing at her prince. She can't take her eyes off of his lips, her heart starts to race, she gulps as her imagination takes off – she leans a bit closer to her husband.)

'Well...just a small peck, it won't hurt – he's in deep sleep now anyway...'

(Soondeok closes her eyes as she slowly brings her lips closer to Eun's)

'What are you doing?'

(Eun murmured just before Soondeok's lips touched his. She quickly backs down and swallow hard, followed by an embarrassed cough)

'I...kkkkmmm...When...when did you wake up, your highness?'

'Just when you wanted to steal a kiss from me.'