Learning to Live Again (A Josh Ramsay Fan fiction)

Chapter Nine:

He got out of the car, with my phone, closed the door and started walking to the back of the building towards a door.  I sat their bewildered, I just really wanted to go home, have a shower, drown my sorrows with some wine, cry and sleep away the weekend until Monday when at least work would keep my mind from wondering.  I thought to myself, ‘What would Rick say?  He would say the same thing, he always knew I hated social situations, he was the reason I got out and did things, we did everything together, he would pretty much say the same things Josh just said to me, he was also a douche bag, but was always there beside me, holding my hand.’ 

 ***Flashback***

Since he died, I have become a hermit, I starting going back to work about 3 months ago, and liked the distraction, at home all I did was cry, drink and sleep.  I know my family was worried about me, they tried to help, but there was nothing they could do, I lost him, I should have died too, that stupid car, I told him it wasn’t safe, that we needed a new one, and he should not have been driving so fast.  He had such a temper and hated bad drivers.  He was simply trying to pass someone going 60km/hr in an 80 km/hr zone.  I told him to slow down, we would get there when we get there, and he laughed.  I think he liked when I got a little freaked out buy his driving.  He did love to drive and was way to overconfident in his abilities, but I did love his confidence, I loved his arrogance, he was my asshole and I loved him, and I now he loved me.  As he was trying to pass the other car, the other car slipped on some black ice, lost control and drove right into the side of our car.  He hit the passenger side where I was sitting, and pushed our car into a ditch.  The car flipped and since there were no airbags, because the car was a piece of shit, Rick’s head hit the steering wheel, he died on impact.  I was knocked unconscious and woke up in the hospital.  With that one stupid move, he left my life forever.

***End of Flashback***

I was pulled back to reality with a knocking on the driver’s side door window immediately followed by the door being opened.  Josh reached over me, unlocked my seatbelt, gave me his hand and smiled as he said “come on, you know me now… well kind of, and I won’t leave you until I have too.  Everyone will like you, and if they don’t who the fuck cares, I like you and you are here with me.”

I just looked at him, smiled shyly, sighed, and took his hand.  He pulled me out of the car, and shut the door behind me.  As we walked towards the back of the building, he stopped, pulling me to a stop with him as he was still holding my hand. He pulled my sunglasses off my face, put his arms around my waist, and said in a soft and compassionate voice, “I know you are freaked out right now, and I don’t want to increase your stress, I just think you deserve to be happy.  And I don’t think your husband would want you to be spending your days mourning him over and over.  I know you loved him and I know he loved you too, I mean who wouldn’t love you?  I know he would want you to live your life, find love and be happy.” 

I started to look at the ground, willing myself for the umpteenth time not to cry.  Josh put his hand under my chin and lifted my face to meet his once again.  He touched my trembling lips with his thumb, and slowly traced their shape, while holding my gaze.

A/N Really short, I know, sorry!  Hope people are enjoying it anyway??