Learning to Live Again (A Josh Ramsay Fan fiction)

Chapter Twenty-Six:

Jordan’s POV:

It was Sunday evening.  I received a call from my boss indicating that she was aware of what had happened Friday night and to take the rest of the week off in order to make sure I was safe.  She told me that there were warrants out for his arrest, nothing that I didn’t already know, but it was nice to know that she was aware of everything that had happened.  She apologized profusely for not calling sooner, but stated that she was out of town herself.  I told her to stop apologizing, that I was being well protected, and nothing was injured that wouldn’t heal.  She reminded me of all the support available and told me not to worry about my groups, she would personally take care of it.  She simply asked that I keep her up to date on the progress of the case.  

Josh just looked at me when I hung up the phone with my boss, and said, “So what you do is pretty important, you have like a real job.  I couldn’t imaging trying to work with criminals in the community and trying to get them to change their behaviour….. Preventing further victims.  Just to even have the courage to work with some of these guys…. You are nothing short of amazing and inspiring.”

I sat down on the couch next to Josh, surprised at his comparison of my work to his.  In my mind, there was no comparison, he was the one with the courage and talent.  “What are you talking about?  Real job?  You have a much more challenging job.  Let’s see, I put in 40, maybe 45 hours a week.  What do you put in at the studio, on the road, in concerts, writing new songs, interviews?”

He just looked at me a little stunned, so I continued, “I guarantee it’s a lot more time than that.  Plus your music speaks to people, look how many fans you have, they all love you and your music.  You should know better than most that music means so much to people.  And if you have the skill to provide it to them, that is amazing!  I can’t even carry a tune!  Plus the courage you have to do it in front of thousands of fans?  I speak in from of a group of 10 and still get nervous. Real job my ass!”  I laughed, he just looked at me and smiled. 

“So I guess you know some stuff about music eh?” He smirked.

“I’m just a fan of all things music.  It has so much power, it can make you feel better, make you feel worse, make you work out harder, and cry louder, make you feel someone else’s pain, and sometimes lets you know that you are not alone.”

“So,” he said as he brushed a strand of hair behind my ears, “why have you not asked me to sing since I got here?”

“Probably the same reason you have not asked me to teach you anger management techniques.  It’s your job, not everyone wants to bring their job home with them.”

“Fair enough…”

Turning away from Josh as I could feel my cheeks burning, I continued, “I mean, I love your voice, band and music, but I am really starting to like the man behind the music.  You know, I like you for you.  You are more than just an amazing singer, you are an amazing and special man, someone who I could … never mind.”  I immediately went to get off the couch and was starting to head upstairs, I felt foolish for saying that.  ‘He will be leaving soon Jordan, why did you have to get all sappy!  We were having a good time, lots of sex, orgasms, and fun.  Why did you have to make it so serious?’

“Where are you going?”  Josh asked

“Um… Nowhere, upstairs,” I said without looking back.  He followed.  I couldn’t turn around and face him knowing my face was burning red, but I really didn’t want him to follow me.  “Why are you following me?”

“You can’t say that to me and not expect, or even wait for a response, not to mention you didn’t finish what you were going to say!”  He sounded angry and hurt.

“Look, I should not have said anything, I’m sorry.”  But I continued up the stairs.

“Why should you not have said that?  Did you mean it?”  He reached out and grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop walking.  So I turned around and faced him. 

“Yes….but, look, we are having a good time, I don’t want to make this too serious.”

“Why not?”

“Josh, you will be leaving soon…”

“So?”  He moved closer to me on the stairs, his eyes locked on mine.  So intense, so blue.

“So, this will be over soon.”  I looked at the ground.  It felt like his eyes were burning a hole into my soul, if he looked longer and deeper, he would see the secret I was desperately trying to keep.  I was starting to fall for him.

He reached out and lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes yet again.  “Who said it’s going to end?” 

In a desperate act to prevent him from seeing my secret, I moved forward, brushed his lips lightly with mine, teasing him by biting his lower lip, and said in a provocative and teasing voice, “Let’s go upstairs and have some fun?”  He hesitated, and tried to pull away, I knew he wanted to have this conversation, so I tried harder at seducing him, I pressed my body to his, ran my nails slowly up and down his chest as I sucked and bit his lower lip.  He still resisted,

“Jordan, we need to talk….”

I didn’t respond, I can’t talk about this, it would ruin everything, he could not possibly feel the way I am starting too and I don’t…  No I can’t lose him… Not yet.  So I pulled out all the stops, pulled away from him and slowly started to take off my clothing.  I knew I had his attention, when I was down to my bra and panties, his eyes finally left mine and landed on my half naked body.  I took the opportunity to begin to undress him, but he seemed to have different ideas as he let out an appreciative moan, swiftly moved towards me, picking me up in his arms and carrying me the rest of the way up to the bedroom.

“This isn’t over, we are going to talk about this” he said in a low moan, just before his lips crashed into mine and he dropped us both onto the bed.

Josh’s POV:

As I laid in the bed after Jordan had fallen asleep, I couldn’t stop the thoughts that were going through my head.  I knew she was trying to distract me, and it worked, but I need to know what she meant.  I need to know what she was going to say before she left.  ‘Someone she could what?’  She said she would not play games and be honest with me.  I need to know if she feels the same for me as I do for her.  It has, only been a couple days, but she is irresistible, this is more than infatuation, or lust.  I want to protect her, keep her safe, I want her, and not just her body.  We connect, I have never felt like this with anyone.  Could it be possible?  I need to know if she is falling for me, like I am for her.