“Jordan, it’s Eric Shaw, from next door. I can hear the TV, I know you are there. I’m just checking in.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and hid the gun in the desk drawer. The last think I needed was to be arrested for having an unsecured firearm, again! I pulled the front curtain open to peak outside, and sure enough it was Eric. I unlocked and opened the door. Standing 6’2, with blond hair and blue eyes, looking relaxed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a tight black shirt, he looked me over and seemed to see the fear and relief on my face. He said, “Are you okay, what happened?”
“I’m fine,” I laughed, “the doorbell scared me, it’s been a rough day. Please come in. Do you have any news?” I stepped aside allowing Eric to enter and closed the door behind him.
“Sorry, nothing yet. But there is a warrant out for his arrest, and we are checking out all his contacts and previous addresses. We will get him, and until then, I will personally check in with you to make sure you are ok, and if you see or hear anything, call me.”
“I will,” I sighed hoping for better news. “Thank you again for everything. Can I get you a drink or something, I was just about to put some cupcakes into the oven, if you want to wait about 30 minutes with me, they should be pretty good. Made from scratch.” I said trying to entice the offer.
He laughed, “Cupcakes, at 6 in the morning?”
“Why not, I mean for you it’s the end of your shift, so technically it is dinner time. You can think of this as dessert. Besides, it is the least I can do to thank you.” ‘Please stay, I don’t want to be alone any longer. Why did I not let Josh come with me? I can’t be alone, if this is how I react when the doorbell rings, how will I ever get some sleep?’ I thought to myself, hoping my pleading eyes would be understood.
“I am sorry, I can’t. I just got off a 24 hour shift and should get some sleep. But here is my card,” he said handing me a small business card, “and on the back is my home and cell number. Call me with anything.”
“Alright, I’ll call.” I could not hide the desperation and disappointment in my voice.
“Besides, didn’t your friend come home with you?”
I blushed and looked away avoiding his eyes. “I get it, well some friend you have there.” Eric retorted
“It’s not his fault. I wouldn’t let him come. In fact, I kind of left without him. He tried to fight me on it, but I made a bad choice and told him he could not come with me, that I wanted and needed to be alone. I fucked up. And now I’m alone, scared, a fucking maniac is after me and I will probably never sleep again!” I babbled as I started to tear up.
“Come here,” he said and pulled me into a hug. I found myself comparing the hug to Josh’s, Josh’s hug was better. Although a very attractive man, Eric’s hug didn’t feel the same. Sure, I felt safe, but who wouldn’t feel safe with a cop, but with Josh, I felt I don’t know what, it couldn’t be love, maybe lust and desire, but whatever it was, I longed to be back in Josh’s arms.
I pulled away saying “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess. I have your number; I will call or break down your door if anything happens. I will save some cupcakes for you for later today. Go home and get some sleep. You deserve it.”
“I am not going to leave you alone. If you have a bed, I can sleep here.”
“Don’t be ridicules. It’s morning, and you know as well as I that the neighbours are out working on their gardens, and kids are playing in the street, no one is going to break into my house during the day. I am just acting crazy; I haven’t slept yet, but will soon. I promise. Go home, I will call you, and when you wake up, feel free to check in on me, alright?”
Eric just looked at me contemplating what I said and if he was not so tired, I am sure he would have fought harder to stay. “Are you sure? If you want, you can come to my place, I have a spare bed, you can crash there, no one would look for you at my place.”
“No, I will be fine; I am going to finish my baking and then try to get some sleep. I definitely won’t sleep well in someone else’s house. Go home, I’m sorry I freaked out and promise I will be ok. I will put your number in my phone and call you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I will be fine.” I smiled as he headed towards the front door. “Lock this behind me.” He said. “I will, thanks again, goodnight.” And with that, Eric headed back to his house. I closed the door, locked it and could feel the tears coming again. ‘Why so I keep turning down offers of help, what is wrong with me. I am such a mess. I really need some sleep.’ I thought as I headed back to the kitchen and put my cupcakes into the oven and set the timer. I settled back down on the couch and put on another episode of Archer.
30 minutes later the cupcakes were sitting on the counter cooling as I began to make the cream cheese icing, my mind focused on the task at hand, lost in the ingredients and directions. I could hear another episode of Archer playing in the background ‘Lana… Lana… LANA….! WHAT?! Danger Zone’ and all thoughts of the past day were being pushed out of my mind as I chuckled at the stupidity that is Archer. The cats were eyeing some rabbits in the back yard, jumping from window to window in order to get the best viewpoint, and you could hear the birds loudly chirping as they started to wake up. The sun was slowing rising into what looked like a cloudless sky, and it seemed like it was going to be a beautiful summer day. As I whipped up the icing, I could feel my mood lifting, although I was tired and sore as hell, I decided to make the most of the day. I would go for a run, maybe do some gardening, and I may even take a nap in the backyard on the hammock. I was not going to worry about Mr. Smith. He doesn’t know where I live, how could he? My time with Josh was short but sweet and I will never forget how he made me feel. For the first time in 8 months, I was looking forward to the day; I could feel myself actually smile a genuinely happy smile.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang again, followed by a knocking on the door. I smiled thinking it must Eric. I told him I was fine. I headed to the front door and pecked out through the peephole. Someone was covering the hole. ‘Strange I thought, why would he do that?’ I went to the window and pulled the curtain back to see what game he was playing, and I could see someone standing there, but it wasn’t Eric. He was wearing a hoodie, leaning with his back against the door. His head was blocking the peep hole. I could not make out who it was, but the person was tall and big. My heart started to pound as paranoid thoughts came back through my mind. ‘What the fuck, did Mr. Smith wait till Eric left, has he been waiting here since then, how did he find me?’ All my hopeful thoughts had disappeared just as suddenly as they came and once again, I was terrified that I was going to die or worse.
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Learning to Live Again (A Josh Ramsay Fan fiction)
FanfictionHow do you learn to live again after a terrible tragedy? When part of your heart has been ripped from you, and you feel every day, like you should have died too? That is what Jordan is trying to do. To live again. However, after 8 months, eve...
