Undercover Frat Brother?

Chapter 3

"You'll have to basically sound like me," He started off. I huffed in annoyance already. That wasn't helpful! 'You have to talk like me' was complete bull shit! "Calm down, alright. Step one: boys are a hell of a lot easier to talk to than girls." I opened my mouth to disagree, but he held up a hand, "No, shut it, I'm in teacher-mode. Girls are all two-faced and bitchy. They're like 'Oh, Sarah, cute skirt!' then when Sarah leaves they talk about how fucking ugly it was. No, see, us dudes don't do that. We'll be like, 'Aye dude, badass shirt.' We don't do that whole 'Mean Girls' thing because we're straight up. Understand so far?" 

"Okay, so just basically sound chill. Use the word 'aye' and don't talk behind other guys' backs," I answered. He nodded his head. Michelle continued working on my hair, pulling and brushing every so often.

 "Alright, good, good. Now, we live off small talk about sports or I dunno, UFC. Banging a girl will probably come up somewhere in our conversation, just so ya know. We really just talk about what we think. We're not like girls in the sense where we think about something before saying it. If something is awesome, we'll say 'Bro, that's fucking awesome.' Chill." 

"You sound high," I muttered under my breath.

"Do you want my help or not, Ms. Alexandra?" He asked with a frown on his face. I groaned and nodded my head in defeat. I would need Daniel to help me become a guy, even if he was only confusing me more.

"Hey! Watch moving your head! I'm working up here!" Michelle snapped annoyed. I knew she wasn't really annoyed; she always gets like that when she gets really into a project. Daniel and I both said sorry before Daniel started scratching his chin.

"Alright. So, unlike what chicks think, we actually have deep talks too. We're not all about sports-" He started.

"You literally just said to talk about sports," I interrupted him. He sighed.

"Different. That's small talk when you just meet a guy. It kinda gets the ball rolling to get to know the other guy. Dude, this is too hard," He complained, "I dunno. When I'm with my friends we talk about lots of stuff. Girls, drinking, having sex, partying, hunting, boobs, sports, um cars, and stuff. I need a nap. My head hurts from all that thinking." I huffed, annoyed that Daniel didn't even know what he was talking about. It was only 3 PM and I was surprised that he was still here. Normally on Saturdays he'd leave and meet up with his friends.

"Those sound like the most boring conversations I've ever heard, Daniel." 

"Really? Well, what do girls think about? Boys? Shopping? Wow, so much better," He muttered, "Anyway! We talk about, like, uh, video games. Lots of the frat brothers like playing COD." My face lightened up. I loved COD! I'd play against Daniel when he was away at school and we both had bluetooths we could yell and insult each other through it.

"Sounds easy enough..."

"Okay, other rules. Don't talk about yourself too much. We think guys who just open up to them to be weird as shit and normally we avoid dudes like that. Basically we never talk about our feelings or stuff like that. Don't tell anyone that you're really a girl. Um, we don't share deep secrets. That's why we have girlfriends or best girlfriends," He started listing off, "Cars, music, paintball, how big our dicks are, stuff like that." I scrunched my nose at the last one. Why the hell would guys talk about that to one another? 

"Guys are weird, expressionless and strange," I told him. He smirked at me.

"Nope, we just don't need to be deep. It doesn't bother me not telling my friends deep stuff about me. I'd probably be called gay for talking about it," He defended his sex only to insult them more, "Us guys can just chill with other dudes and not feel the need to call them our best friends like you girls do." Michelle giggled a little and made Daniel smile.