Butterfly

11. You're Not Okay, Jessica.

Chapter Eleven: You're Not Okay, Jessica.

♡ Jessica Washington ♡

All I feel on Saturday is nerves. My stomach ties in knots, butterflies crashing against the walls of my stomach, making me feel sick. The kind of sick you feel after going on a rollercoaster or being in a car for too long, the kind of sick you feel when things are moving too quickly, where you weren't prepared for them, or because it's too long.

It feels like things are moving too quickly. To me, it feels like only yesterday when I went on a date with Tyler, even though in reality, it was years ago. It also feels like it's too long. One, because I haven't dated since Tyler, so it has been a while. Two, because I've been up all night panicking about it. This is why I'm wearing more concealer than usual, the bags under my eyes are probably down to my toes.

I search through my wardrobe until I find what I'm going to wear. We're only going to this milkshake place in town. It's on the corner of the street, and it looks out on the old, red telephone box that no one uses. It is where a lot of people from our school go after school to hang out with their friends, but I've only been once or twice. Hopefully no one from school will be there today.

I eventually decide to just stick with what I know, putting on my tight, black jeans which have a few rips in, two small rips near the top of my left thigh and one across my right knee. I also find a loose, dark green shirt to wear, which falls loosely. As you can probably tell, I'm not very good with clothes.

I have on slightly more makeup than usual, but not too much. I've never understood how people have time to spend an hour of more on their makeup, I take fifteen minutes maximum, usually under ten. My hair falls loosely down my back, as I ran out of time to actually do anything to it.

"You look nervous," River calls from his room, and I look up, smiling slightly.

"Probably because I am," I reply, as I try to find my phone.

"Why?" River asks, curiously.

"I'm supposed to be going on a date, but I don't know, I don't think it'll go well," I answer, sighing. River smiles, probably at how ridiculous I'm being. I mean, how can I already know that a date is going to be bad when I haven't even left the house yet?

"It'll go fine, don't worry," River replies, reassuringly. I smile softly, looking down at my feet slightly.

"We'll see. I better leave, so I'll speak to you later about how it goes," I grin, and River smiles, before I leave my room, heading downstairs.

When I arrive at Millie's Milkshakes, I don't see Luke, so I sit down at one of the booths at the back. I got here five minutes early, so I'm not surprised that he isn't here.

Five minutes pass, and he still doesn't arrive. I pretend to be looking through the menu, not wanting it to be too obvious that I'm waiting for someone.

Another ten minutes pass. Still no Luke. I'm starting to get weird looks from the workers here, wondering why I've been sat at a table by myself looking through the menu without ordering for so long. I decide to give him another five minutes, giving him one more chance.

Five minutes slowly tick by, and just as I'm getting ready to leave, Luke walks in. He's wearing a plain black shirt and black jeans, but he can't wear it without his football jacket over the top, which has his name on the back.