Butterfly

18. How Far Would He Have Gone?

Chapter Eighteen: How Far Would He Have Gone?

♡ Jessica Washington ♡

It's the night before my Jasmine's wedding, and I've sat on my bed for the last hour starting at the dress hanging on the door handle. The more I look at it, the more I hate it. I've put it on and taken it off about ten times, and I'm still undecided. Why aren't jeans acceptable at weddings?

I decide to try it on one more time, looking at my reflection in the full-length mirror in front of me. It feels too exposing, if that makes sense. Dresses, in general, make me feel like that.

It started back when the rumour with Tyler started. People branded me as this 'easy' girl who threw herself at any boy who would give her attention. I couldn't wear a skirt or a dress, or anything remotely short or slightly revealing, as then people would say that I was living up to this rumour about me, because apparently wearing something like that means that I'm a slag or something along those lines. Which is why I now live in jeans.

Now whenever there is an occasion where I have to wear a dress, it makes me feel nervous, as if I'm going to be judged by everyone for it. And my 'date' with Luke and how that ended did not help at all. I look at my reflection in the mirror and all I'm seeing in my head is an image of Luke and I sat in a small booth, picturing what might have happened if I didn't react like I did. How far would he have gone? I still seem to feel on my thigh where he touched me, and it seems to send sharp pains all down my leg, when it's all in my head. I can never get rid of that image in my head.

I quickly change out of the dress back into my jeans and shove the dress back in the wardrobe so I don't have to look at it. As I'm doing this, I hear a tap on my window, making me jump.

"Hey, Jess, you alright?" I hear River ask, climbing into my room through the window. I spin around quickly at the sudden noise, and River chuckles slightly, before he sees my face, which must show how I'm feeling right now.

"I'm fine," I attempt to reassure him, but this fails and ultimately makes River more concerned.

"What is it?" River asks, but I don't think I want to try and explain it to him.

"It's about the wedding tomorrow," I start to explain, as River moves closer to me to make me sit down next to him on my bed.

"It's hard to explain, especially to you, no offence. It's dresses, I don't like wearing them. But I have to wear one tomorrow for that wedding, but I don't like wearing them. Firstly it was because of Tyler, because I stopped wearing anything like that because if I did, everyone at school would be saying that I was doing it so men would be more inclined to talk to me and whatever. And then Luke happened," I sigh, and River bites his lip, taking my hand in his, absentmindedly tracing circles on my skin, sending tingles up my arm.

"I can just picture that date, what would have happened if I couldn't stop him?" I whisper, and River frowns, suddenly pulling me into a hug.

"All this nonsense about a bloody dress," I whisper, laughing at myself slightly as tears start to roll down my face.

"Don't worry, Jessica, you're okay," River whispers into my hair.

"I'm sorry," I apologise quietly, and River chuckles slightly.

"Stop apologising, there's nothing to be sorry for. Try not to think about Luke or Tyler, they both messed up not realising what they had. And you'll have me for moral support," River tells me, pulling away from the hug and wiping away my tears with his thumb. I definitely chose the like the right guy, I mean, everything about River is just so perfect. He's sweet, although he probably wouldn't appreciate me saying that, he looks gorgeous, and he actually seems to care.

"Thanks," I tell him, and River smiles, softly. Everything about River is so reassuring, if that makes sense. He makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, like I am always safe when I am around him. Which is strange, because I have never felt this way before. Even with Tyler, I never really felt like everything was entirely safe. But right here, right now, I feel safe.

"And, obviously, there's no doubt that you're going to look stunning tomorrow," River comments, and I look down at my hands in my lap, my cheeks brightening to a pale pink. Damn, this boy. How can someone be so perfect?

"Sure," I mutter, disbelievingly. River rolls his eyes, smiling in amusement. It's a shame that he's only saying all this to make me feel better, otherwise I would probably be dying inside.

"You will, trust me," River smiles, before I hear my dad shout downstairs, telling me that dinner is ready.

"Well, I shall see you tomorrow. Goodnight," River tells me, before he walks to my window and climbs out, going back into his room. I smile slightly, before I head downstairs to eat my dinner with my parents.

~*~

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it. I'm sorry this chapter is so short, I've had so much work to do for my A-Levels so the chapters may be quite crap and short , so sorry about that! If you did somehow like this, maybe drop it a vote or a comment? X