Book of Random Ideas

Masks

Everyone wheres a mask of some kind. 

A mask that can fall apart any second. Or a mask so perfectly sculputed that no one can see behind it. Not even the eyes shine through it. Until it starts to crack.

Some masks are to hide the pain. Some to hide the insceurities. Then there are those to hide that they can't feel, that they feel nothing. 

My mask though... Isn't like the rest. It isn't going to come off. I don't want it off. 

They just see me smiling while in my room, I hurt. My arms now are both bruised and cut. The pain, envy, anger, and fear... They all go to the knife I hold... No one can see my mask, for they have never asked me to show me... The real one... The one that cries, the one that wants to yell and scream to get out the anger. No one will ask. 

Looking out from behind the mask that I had made, I saw some one knew. She too wore a mask. I could see it, and I felt like she could see mine. 

"Hello, my name is Sonny." She introduced herself, her mask smiling at me. 

"Hi! My name is Triste." I greeted back, my mask smiling at her. 

From that day on we were friends. 

We both knew of the other's mask, yet we never asked out of respect. 

"Triste..." Sonny said one day, her mask cracking a small bit. 

"Y-yes, Son-son?" I asked, worrying for the first time about some one else. Scared really.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Her blue eyes bore into my brown ones. They were wide. She... Finally asked... Someone asked!

"Of course I'm fine! See," I smiled as real as possible, my mask almost slipping off. "I'm smiling. I always smile! I have a good-"

"No... I know thats not a real one... You know I know... You see my mask when no one else did... Please... I'll let this mask fall... If you let yours..." Her hand hovered over the thing. The thing that only we could see.

Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about it. Quickly, I yanked off the mask. It landed on the ground, hard, shattering into pieces. Now I can never go back as I cried tears.

A soft hand landed on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw her. I mean the real her.

The bright blue eyes were dulled to a gray as they stared at me. I saw the bruises and a scar on her cheek.

I saw it. I felt it.

I held her tightly as tears fell faster from both of our eyes. We sobbed under the tree. Our tree in a forest far away.

We cried until we had no more tears. We pulled away and looked at each other.

"I... I trust you." I spoke the forbidden three words that can easily come back to haunt us.

She smiled. A real smile as she held me again.

"I trust you too." She whispered in my ear.

For years we became new people. We fell in love with other people, but... We knew they would never care about us. So one day... We confessed our love for one another. Others... Didn't approve.

"Triste! You cannot love another woman!" My mother yelled at me as I brought her home for the first time. Mother thought being gay was bad... I didn't.

I scowled at her, she knew nothing of me! She knew nothing of Sonny!

"I will love who I want. You helped make me way!" I growled out.

On that day was a day I will never forget.It was the day... I remade my mask... It was the day... I lost the most precious thing in the world.

My mother... She killed my love. She killed Sonny in front of me. She murdered her in cold blood... She tried to kill me... But...

The woman went to jail since I screamed in anger and fear. It was loud enough to alart the neighbors.

Even now. Even after so many years... I still wear this mask. Even though I am married with a husband that loved and cherished me... I don't show him me. I don't love him as I love Sonny.

Only when I drop the mask is for her... For her...

"Thr stars are beautiful, Son-son..." I always whispered after saying sorry sorry many times.

Tonight... I couldn't take it. I had loved, no love, her so much only for mother to rip it away! All in cold blood!

I looked in the mirror, seeing the bright, cheerful brown eyes. A tan face with a big smile on its face.

I was angry and sad! I didn't want to look happy!

I yanked the thing off and stared into the lifeless eyes of mine. I cried once more. All I do that is real is cry. I didn't want to stay where she wasn't.

Taking the knife I had near me, I held it close to my chest.

"Sonny... Forgive me please... We will be together forever... I love you." I said as I forced the blade to plunge into my heart.

A gasp left my lips as I felt pain. Unbearable pain. Blood fell from my lips as I smiled. A real smile. A happy smile. I was going to meet her soon.

Then... Nothing. I saw nothing. Only a bright light.

I walked towards it and saw it was her. It was Sonny. She was smiling. She was there! She was waiting for me!!

Running up to me she hugged me and cried. I cried too. We were together. And we will stay together forever. No one can stop our love now.