Reaching for Rebecca

Chapter 100

REBECCA'S POV

I didn't know how long I've been here and I couldn't tell the time of the day, not even if it was day or night because there were no windows in the dark room. There was one flickering fluorescent bulb near the doorway that I was oddly thankful for. I'm sure panic attacks would have set in full blast if I was in complete darkness.

Kirk came in some time ago and took some pictures of me while I was crying. I know there was dried blood on my face from where I hit the center console of his car after he slammed on the brakes, but I didn't know what else would be in the image. I wonder why he was taking pictures, would this become a daily thing? Maybe I can count the days using that. He must have taken a video too but I stopped paying attention. To get it back, he'd slap me hard across the face but I'd fall right back into my oblivion.

I haven't slept either. I've done nothing but stare at the door in front of me and imagine Ryan breaking through to rescue me. It replayed in my mind for hours without stopping – or at least it felt like hours.

I think I'm going a little crazy.

Ryan invades all my thoughts yet I can't help but think that's a lost cause. It hurts so much because I know he's looking for me but maybe he should give up and just look back on our happy times together. I know Kirk will be coming back and it will be more than just to take pictures... and if I didn't make it through before Ryan got to me, at least I know what having an honest true love was like. Spending every free minute with him was never enough: playing games, cooking meals, cracking jokes, and comforting one another were some of the many highlights of our relationship.

I thought back to the first day of school when I was afraid of him but I've never been more thankful for anything in my life than when he started a lame game of twenty questions during our chemistry experiment. My mind wandered to our first date where he took me to the most amazing museum and spent almost all his Saturday with me. I guarantee he would have stayed longer if Landon didn't need him too.

Our first kiss in his bed after waking up with morning breath should have been weird, but it was absolutely breathtaking. Then when I was a little more than tipsy at my first party, Ryan held me and kissed me more passionately than ever and I knew I'd never get enough.

His over protectiveness helped me feel safe. His sense of humor cheered me up and always kept me laughing. His loving and caring nature made me feel so welcomed and at home but it was the thing I feared the most right now... Ryan would never give up on me and that's what will hurt him in the end because remember what Kirk said:

He always gets what he wants.

RYAN'S POV

We got permission to look at four abandoned buildings on Sunday and we walked the streets and slums of the big city with all the time we had left. Will thought it best that Landon and I head back to Rochester and help with the flyers but he'd let us know if he caught wind of anything.

It was Monday morning and everyone, besides Will's search crew, was back home and at my house. We got the okay to stay home from classes today and scoured every inch of our town only to get nowhere. With the good cops searching for Becca, all the flyers hung, and no leads whatsoever, we knew we were going to school on Tuesday. My mom would never force me to go but there truly was nothing left for us to do.

---

Landon and I were sitting on my bed when Kate, Mason, and Bentley came to join us after getting back from hanging flyers at the mall.

"I hate this," Kate says, stating the obvious. Mason just pulls her against his side and kisses the top of her head.

"Don't stare too hard," Landon whispers while I'm stuck gazing at my two friends in love – wishing I had that here with me right now. Bentley takes a seat near Landon and Mason pulls Kate into his lap before speaking.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" he asks and I shrug. That's all I do lately is shrug but I have nothing else to say.

"Will said he might have a lead in Olympia but we should go to school until we hear something definite," Landon explains. "Is that okay Ryan?" I nod.

"We'll find her," Bentley whispers sweetly and sets a gentle hand on my forearm but it only reminds me of Becca's touch.

It was getting late and my friends were talking amongst themselves about new ideas to find Becca. I waited until ten before I said anything because they really were just trying to help.

"You guys can stay over but do you think I could be alone for a little while?" My voice was hoarse from disuse over the past twenty-four hours and although I tried to mask the sorrow, it made an appearance while my words shook.

"Bentley and I will be downstairs alright? And Kate and Mason are staying in Becca's room." Landon said and shooed everyone out of my bedroom. "Try and get some sleep okay?" I nod but that won't happen. Every time I close my eyes I picture Becca tied to that bed with blood soaked clothing and tears running down her face. My mind runs with the morbid images and creates things I don't ever want to think about.

When I did nod off around two in the morning, I woke with a start while tears streamed down my face as my hands clutched the sheets beneath me. I knew I was sinking into a deep state of depression but I've never felt worse in my entire life. Becca truly was my happiness and she got taken away. What's even worse is that I know what's probably happening to her right now and that makes me sink deeper and deeper with worry; I think I can physically feel pain for her.

The rest of the night goes about the same way – I get ten-minute increments of sleep and wake up either crying or trying to sleep. Around six I pull myself out of bed and trudge to the shower Becca and I have shared on more than one occasion and imagine her in there with me. She's so beautiful with her long, black hair and blushed skin. We aren't doing anything, but I can picture her there smiling at me. It's the only time I've come close to a smile in days.