Adam's Glamily (Adam Lambert Fanfiction)

Chapter 9

*Ellie's P.O.V*

I paused my blaring music and took out my headphones as I saw Adam approach my bed. He looked serious, and it made me nervous. I knew Amber had probably said something. I saw this coming. I just really don't want him to worry about me. He has other things to do, he's a busy guy. But I don't even know if that's what he's here about, maybe he's just asking me about something small. I need to stop overthinking this so fast.

"Ellie...I think we need to talk." He says in a serious tone of voice. He makes eye contact with me, but I look down immediately. "Uh...yeah..what's up?" I ask quietly, but I already know the answer. "Ellie, I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me what's going on." At this point I wasn't sure if this was about what happened in the car the other day, or if Amber had told him something she wasn't supposed to. "About...about what?" My voice was almost at a whisper now. He hesitates for a moment, and I think I know where this is going. "Can I see your wrists?" He asks quietly, but seriously. And I can tell he means business. He reaches for my arm a bit, but I pull it away, still looking down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I know he's trying to help....I just...he can't see my scars. "Look at me." He says, and I know he's not playing around. I raise my head a little, barely looking at him. He reaches out for my hand again, and this time I just give up. I don't even try to pull back. He grabs my wrist gently, and pulls back my sleeve, revealing an array of fiery red lines drawn across my wrist. Adam takes a deep breath, and I can tell that it's worse than he'd expected. "Ellie..." He breaks the silence, and looks me straight in the eyes. "Why?" He asks calmly, keeping his cool, even though I can tell he's not happy with me. "Adam..I-I'm sorry." A tear falls down my cheek and I lean into his chest.

Honestly, I was scared. I was scared that he wouldn't love me anymore. Or that he would treat me differently, look at me differently. But he did exactly the opposite. "Ellie, it's okay. You're safe now." He said, holding me close to him. "No more, okay? For me."

"Adam, it's not that easy..." I replied hesitantly. "I'm going to help you through this, El. I promise." I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his head right now. "Can you give me your blades?" He asked soothingly. I nodded reluctantly, and opened my hand, where I was hiding them ever since he walked in the room, so he wouldn't find them. He took them from me, the shiny silver blades. "Have you ever thought about it?" He asks me. "Thought about what?" I look up at him curiously. "Just ending it all." He looks down, and I can tell he's had his fair share of hardships. I breathily laughed, but without humor. "Thought about it? I've tried it. So many times I've lost count." I hesitantly reply to his question. He brings my chin up with his pointer finger, and looks me dead in the eye. "El, don't you dare ever think that you don't belong here. Or that nobody loves you. And don't you ever even think about trying that again. If something happens, I want you to tell me. If you want to cut, I want you to come find me. I don't care if you're at school, and you make a phone call to me. I don't care if we're on different sides of the world. I need you to trust me, and I need you to let me in. I want to help you, but you've got to let me. Understand?" He wasn't playing around. He was dead serious. "I-I can do that." I force the words out of my mouth. I know he just wants to help... But I'm broken beyond repair. There's nothing he can do anymore. I've given up.

I guess he can tell what I was thinking, because he says,"I'm serious. You're going to get through this. I promise." And for once, I felt okay. I felt like maybe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I had something to live for, for the first time in my life. He held me tightly to him, and i was safe. I was happy.

I hade hope again.