Nothing Holdin Me Back

XVII

"Who are you really?"

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(I listened to Impossible by Shontelle while writing this chapter)

Maddox.

I walked back to my apartment and when I got in I took off my wet jacket. I hung it up and sat down on my couch trying to process what the hell just happened. I didn't even know how I felt, I mean he lied.

If he lied about his job, where he disappears to when he says he needs to work. I sat down on my couch and just stared at my blank tv. I just didn't know what to do I mean what did I really know about him?

I don't know his last name, I clearly don't know where he works. I don't know where he even lives, the only time I ever see him is when he finds me. I couldn't deal with my thoughts at the moment. I got up and went to my room to sleep it off, but even as I tried to sleep I couldn't.

I stared at my dark ceiling as my thoughts collided together. I sat up and sighed before getting up and walking back to my living room. I looked at the time and seen it was only 9 pm and this was killing me.

I started to pace my living room thinking of what I should do. But I just grabbed my phone and clicked his contact. I hesitated to text him, maybe I should just delete his contact and forget I met him. That seems like the easy way but it wasn't, I felt the need to know who it was I was spending all this time with.

To Shawn:
Do you think we can talk?

From Shawn:
Uh yeah want me to come over?

I stood there and contemplated it, did I want to see him? Let him into my house again?

To Shawn:
Yeah.

From Shawn:
Okay I'll be there as soon as I can.

I set my phone down and continued to pace my room. He would be here any minute and with each second that past I grew more and more anxious. I even started to clean what was already clean.

God I feel like I was going to throw up. Just then there was a knock on my door. I felt my heart jump and my hands get sweaty as I walked towards the door. I opened it up and seen Shawn standing there, his hair and clothes wet from the rain.

I opened the door wide enough for him to walk in. Once he did I closed the door but didn't lock it. He turned around and looked at me with a concerned look.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

I swallowed the knot that tried to form in my throat, "Who are you?"

He had a confused look, "Excuse me?"

"Who are you Shawn? If that's even your real name." I asked.

His face changed he looked like he was trying t stay calm but I seen panic in his eyes. As if I figured out something and he was probably trying to come up with another lie.

"My name is Shawn, always has been. Since birth if were being honest here. Why are you asking?" He asked me.

I rolled my eyes, "Being honest? That's something you clearly haven't been."