Nothing Holdin Me Back

Ending Explained

This is just for people who might not understand the ending. Or who want to know why I ended the book the way I did.

1. Storyline

Clearly it goes from the first chapter (not the intro) when Shawn and Matt got their assignment. While in New York it then really continues at the epilogue. So it goes from first chapter to epilogue and everything in between was just a dream.

The dreams to them felt so surreal, I don't know about you guys but I sometimes feel like a dream felt so real. That I will wake up looking for things that were from my dream but coming up empty handed. Hence why both Maddox and Shawn felt like something was missing.

So when Maddox woke up and felt weird being in her apartment it's because in the dream Shawn was constantly there. It's like an impression of him was there and missing. Then towards the end of her POV, she touched her palm.

Her palm was fine and nothing was wrong. Yet she still touched it as if it had really happened to her, as if she really did have a gash. So she clearly remembered it happening but not everything.

She also didn't remember Shawn, she doesn't even know who he is. All she really remembered was some tall guy with brown hair and eyes and his smile. But she didn't know him, especially since a lot of people don't remember every detail in their dreams.

Now with Shawn, he fell asleep on the plane after reading her files. Which is why he woke up in the epilogue with her files on his lap. So he fell asleep knowing what she looked like and the things he knew in the story. That's why when he woke up and when he stretched he touched his side. The part of his side where the bullet wound would've been.

Then the transition from the final chapter to the epilogue. Towards the end of the chapter you read Shawn and Maddox talking about her leaving. She talks about going home to take a shower and Shawn tells her to make sure she gets some rest.

So he's telling her to go home to her apartment and fall asleep. Then he decided to go to sleep as well. So then as the epilogue started it showed Maddox waking up.

She woke up in her apartment from sleep. Then Shawn woke up from sleep on the plane. In their dreams they fell asleep and then in reality woke up from them.

And people always say that if you dream about someone do you think it's because they're dreaming about you too. I don't know if that's real or not but that's kind of what I was trying to show. They were dreaming about each other at the same time which is why they were both together in the dreams.

2. Reason for ending

I chose to end the story the way I did because of There's Nothing Holdin Me Back. While on tour and Shawn was being asked Q&A questions and few fans asked this one question.

"What was your inspiration for There's Nothing Holdin Me Back?"

And what was Shawn's response?

He had a script for a movie and there was a girl in the script. He fell in love with this girl he read about a carefree girl who made a guy break out of his shell. To show him not to be afraid of everything. So he said he had to write the song on her, about a fictional girl.

Now Shawn (in the story) had a dream about a girl who wasn't like most girls. She kept him guessing and made him break out of this shell he had. The shell called fear, fear of falling in love again. But the funny thing is he never met her, he only read about her. He read about her through the files.

The same way Shawn fell in love with the girl from the script. By reading about her.

•••

And yeah that's the reason why I ended the book the way I did. I couldn't even begin to tell you guys how nervous I was.

It was so out of my element because I normally write the whole happily ever after. So when I found the ending for this book I was so excited to write the ending hence all the updates. I am so happy as to how I ended the book.

Though like I said I was so damn nervous. I kid you not as soon as I published it I felt so nervous. Like nervous butterflies and I was actually eating at the time but I couldn't because I was literally shaking.

My hands were shaking and I kept laughing and trying to shake it off. My sister was laughing at me and it's because I was nervous to see how you would all react. Like would you hate it? Would you hate me for not giving them a happy ending?

But at the end of the day I am so happy with it. Like just how everything fit so well and how I went out of my comfort zone. I am so happy with this book and just want to thank you all for the support.

Thank you for reading and voting and commenting. I appreciate it so so so much you have no idea. Despite with how it ended I really hope you all loved it as much as I did.

Love you all so much and I'll see you in my other books!
-S