Nothing Holdin Me Back

XIX

"I don't want to be weak."

•••

Maddox.

Another week went by and my stress of knowing something bad could happen was so high. I mean my life was pretty boring and ordinary before I found out who Shawn was. I wasn't worrying about anything dangerous enough to have a CIA agent looking after me.

What do you normally do with that information? The worst part about that is that I don't know why he's watching me. He can't tell me so that adds to my stress cause I don't know what or who I'm supposed to keep an eye out. Or maybe it was because I knew I would need someone there to protect me.

I didn't like that, with my past experience and not doing anything I hated being useless. Hated needing someone to protect me or feeling so defenseless.

It was 12 in the afternoon and today was my day off from work. That and I didn't have school either so I knew the perfect thing I wanted to do. I cleaned up my apartment before getting ready in leggings and a sports bra with a muscle T over it.

To Shawn;
Hey I have a big favor to ask, do you think you can come over?

I waited a couple minutes before I got a response.

From Shawn;
Yeah is everything okay?

To Shawn;
Yup everything is good here, just wanted to ask you something in person.

From Shawn;
Okay I'll be right there.

I moved all my furniture and anything breakable away from the area. So now my living room area was kind of empty. I then heard a knock on my door, I took a deep breath before walking over.

I opened the door and seen Shawn, he happened to be wearing perfect clothes for what I had in mind. He wore some sweats and a tshirt which was a look I hadn't seen on him.

"So what was the...what is going on?" He asked as he walked in and seen my living room.

I closed the door and walked over towards him, "I want you to teach me how to defend myself."

He had a confused look, "You want me to teach you how to fight?"

"I said defend myself but fight is another word I guess." I told him as I crossed my arms.

He nodded, "Okay but why exactly may I ask?"

"I didn't think I needed a reason to want to defend myself." I said.

He shook his head, "You don't I just wanted to know why out of nowhere?"

I sighed before walking over to my barstool and sitting down, "Maybe because you can't tell me why you have to watch over me. It's a lot of stress Shawn, who am I supposed to look out for. I realized you're not even here all the time so what happens if I'm by myself?"

He nodded and squat down so he was my height in front of me, "Okay fair enough, I guess I'm not always quick to get here. Anything can happen in a few seconds. Are you sure you're up for this?"

I smiled, "Yeah."

He then stood up and held out his for me to grab. I placed mine in his as he helped me up. We then walked over towards the middle of the living room where it was empty. He then proceeded to go through the basics of hitting, mostly the whole not punching with your thumb in your fist.

He was literally sounding like a teacher with his do's and don't. Then with the safety measures as if I'm really going to ask an attacker if he's okay and healthy. But I guess it was more for my health still it felt as if you were excited to do the activity but have to read or write before it. Boring.

After about maybe thirty minutes of him talking he finally started to show me moves. He put me in a variety of different scenarios that could happen and he showed me how to get out of them. It was hard to get down at first especially with how built Shawn was.

Though after a couple tries I would finally get it down. Like I actually managed to get out of Shawn's grip. I felt amazing and so proud of myself, though as he continued to show me different moves we grew sweaty and tired.

"Okay one last one because at this rate I don't think you'll meet a attacker that has done this 50 times in one day." Shawn joked.

His hair was a mess and he had taken off his shirt because it was wet from sweat. I took off my muscle t and was just in my sports bra.

He then showed me where he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I had to use my prior knowledge of what we had been doing for the past two hours to try and get myself out. I managed to do so and by doing it I had got him on his knees.

But when I did he swept my feet from under me causing me to drop onto my ass. I fell to the ground in a thud and pain shot up to my back. He then got on me and pinned me down.

"Pinned you, you got to work quicker at being alert when you fall." He told me with a serious look.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh sorry I'll make sure to suck it up when I get dropped on my ass."

"You were on carpet this time Maddox, next time it could be on the sidewalk or even the street." Shawn told me.

I sighed, "Yeah yeah I know."

He was about to get up when I used all the force I had to push him over. I then used whatever strength I had left to straddle him and pin his arms above his head. He groaned from the weight I put on his back when I flipped him.

"That was good, definitely caught me off guard." He chuckled.

I looked down at him and his hazel eyes. The way he looked from my position was really hot. Especially with how close we were due to the position. I seen him look at my lips and then back to my eyes, I wanted to kiss him.

He then rolled us back over so I was on my back. I was surprised but not as surprised when he got up and off of me.

"You don't mind if I take a quick rinse here do you?" I heard him ask as I stared at my popcorn ceiling.

"No go ahead." I said.

I then heard his footsteps retreating to the other bathroom. Once I heard the door close I covered my face. What the hell? We are always so close but then he pulls away. I know why he can't but god I know he wants to and I know I want to.

Why is this so hard?

Authors Note//
Finally a update sorry my loves
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚