Nothing Holdin Me Back

XXII

"There's nothing I can do."

•••

Shawn.

I didn't know what hurt more, when my hand got stabbed or this moment. The moment Matt and I were headed to the airport away from Maddox. I knew what I was getting myself into when I did what I did last night.

I knew that when the sun rose I would be gone. I would leave this all behind and head back to New York. Back home by myself and burying myself in work. Before I came to LA I wished nothing more than to hurry up and head home.

I didn't want to babysit, but as time went on. As I got to know who Maddox was I didn't want to leave. I found myself fighting my thoughts on leaving, on not wanting a relationship. I didn't want one when things with Alice ended, and now I didn't mind it.

I didn't push it away or deny it in fact I embraced it. I hoped what I was feeling she felt it too. But then reality popped up and told me that it wasn't going to last. That I worked too hard for what I have to just get up and move for this one girl.

At least that's what I kept telling myself. Matt and I were boarding the plane to New York and our boss let us go first class. As if that's what would help or make anything better.

"Dude I am not looking forward to this long flight." Matt said.

I looked out of the window as I rested my chin on my fist, "Mhmm."

"Dude if you're so upset about leaving then why don't you arrange something with the boss and stay? Like move to LA." Matt asked me.

I shrugged, "I can't."

"You can't or you won't?" He asked.

I looked at him and sighed, "I can't Matt, I have sacrificed too much to get where I am. That and I don't dare put her through the same thing I did to Alice."

"Alice is not Maddox, Alice was some rich bitch who wanted nothing more than to own you. Maddox didn't, she didn't even know who you were for the whole time we were in her life. And from what I saw I think I seen you falling in love with her." Matt told me.

"Matt I am-" I was cut off when my phone started to ring.

I didn't recognize the number, "Hello?"

"Shawn we have a big problem." I heard a slightly familiar voice say.

"Who is this?" I asked.

Matt gave me a questioning look but I stared at the open door that continued to fill with people boarding. My heart started to quicken at this call. Maybe it was the fear of being away from Maddox.

"It's me Jess, Maddox's friend. But that's not the point right now. I was on my way to her apartment and I found it unlocked. It was slightly open and fuck Shawn she's not in here." She told me out of breath.

I didn't know what to do I felt my head spinning. I felt my adrenaline rushing and couldn't think clearly.

"What do you mean she's not there?" I asked.

It was a stupid question but I didn't know what to do. Matt started to look a little panic as he typed on his phone. He must've been trying to call our boss. We then got up and got out of the plane, we had to show our badges so they'd let us out. We took off running out of the terminal and tried to find a cab or something.

"Jess is there anything there that's out of the normal?" I asked feeling out of breath.

Matt was on the phone as well and we ended up flagging down a cop near by. He slowed down and I showed him my badge.

"We need a police escort to this address, its an emergency." I told him as we got in the back seat.

He nodded and took off after putting on his siren. He sped off but it still took a while for the traffic in LA was horrible.

"I- God Shawn what the hell happened. What don't I know?" I heard her ask.

She sounded so scared and I hated that, I hated to hear her fear for her Friend. I was there for a reason to keep Maddox safe and I couldn't do that. I hated myself I wanted nothing more than for this to be a dream.

"I'll fill you in Jess but call the cops. Don't stay in the apartment just incase someone were to come back. Please be safe." I told her.

She told me she would before hanging up. My heart beat was going about one hundred miles per hour. I felt my chest squeezing and I didn't know what I was feeling. Maybe it was a panic attack because that's all I felt like I was doing.

Like I couldn't get there fast enough, I couldn't focus. The thought of her gone and something happening to her.

"Dude we'll find her just breathe." Matt told me.

We then arrived at her apartments and I didn't even wait for the car to stop. I almost fell onto the street before I caught my step. I walked into the building and seen Jess, there were tears in her eyes. When she seen me I seen a little hope glistening in her eyes.

Though I didn't stop to talk to her, I ran up the stairs. All the way to her floor each time I found myself tripping and slipping, I've probably hurt my shins and knees so much. I'll be hurting so much tomorrow with big bruises. I got to her floor and ran to the door, and when I got to it I slowed down, I then opened the door and walked in.

My heart sank.

Authors Note//
Cliffhanger af
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚