There was a time not to long ago when I thought I knew what love was
There was a time when I was sure I knew what respect was
There was so many things I thought I knew that I knew not
And I went on and on being wrong every time I got caught
I thought 'I'll be craftier next time I'll make it more convincing'
Well I think in all my attempts to fake love and respect I lost the ability to offer them for real
I became a hollowed shell of deceit and lovelessness
Yes, because I discovered not only did I fool myself into believing my lies but I also cheated myself out of being truly loved by anyone else
I used my loved ones as stepping stones to reach no higher or lower but merely to get through life; to coast
That's not something anyone would likely boast
I began to fail even at the most menial and simple tasks because for so long I acted like I couldn't accomplish any better and because of that it turned out to be a self fulfilling prophecy
You see all of my decisions have wound me up and spun me in place — buried me below the surface
Its become clear to all the people in my life that I am less and I'm worthless
I'm no more and no better than the worst that I've ever been
Yes, I am less than them and they are more — therefore I'm not worthy of them or their love
Yet they wont — just can't bring themselves not to love me
Its because they want to care — but I've given them no good reason
They want to care — for now its only because they feel like they have too despite my high treason
YOU ARE READING
My Heart To Yours
Poetry~My heart burns on heavy with nothing and no one to call my own~ I had fun with these. That you probably knew, but also I hope you will too! With Love, David Yager
