That's an Order - [ Levi x Reader ] (going through editing)

"We're a mess" -27

AAAAAAHHHHHH NO TIME TO EXPLAIN BUT THS IS GONNA BE SAD AND TRIGGER WARNING TOOOO (nothing majorly graphic though) I WILL PUT A ~~~~~~ WHEN IT STARTS
Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Attack on Titan franchise I'm just simply creating a story using the storyline from the anime
Just a quick reminder for you and me:
(Y/N) - you name
(H/L) - hair length
(H/C) - hair colour
(S/T) - skin tone
(E/S) - eye shape
(E/C) - eye colour
(D/O/C) - drink of choice

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Recap
Levi POV
'I felt her soft breathing in my neck causing me to feel more relaxed then ever before. 'What is she doing to me' I thought with a smile as I soon drifted to sleep.'

Your POV
You slowly open your eyes before shutting them tight once the light got to them. 'I always shut the curtains' you thought to yourself as you slowly sat up rubbing your eyes while doing so. "Finally decided to wake up I see." You suddenly opened your eyes looking around to find him...Levi you face flushed not only at the events from last night but the fact that he was topless...in your room...topless, "What? Never seen a shirtless guy before." You cleared your throat. "Y-yes I have just not so-" Your thoughts were cut off when you remembered the melt down you had, you hung your head down. "L-Levi..." He turned around at the sudden change in your voice, once he saw your face he slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. "I-I'm sorry." He sat down next to you putting his hand on yours. "It's not your faul-" You cut him off by standing up. "YES IT IS!" You had tears streaming down your face. Levi looked at you with wide eyes. You sobbed as you hung your head. "It is my fault Levi. I could've tried harder to stop them. I could've been stronger. I could've fought along side them. I co-" You felt Levi's hand on your cheek. He looked deeply into your red puffy (e/c) eyes. "You and I both know they're too stubborn for that. You're safe and alive that's what matters now." You pushed him away looking down again. "No..." He took a step forward. "What?.."You spoke under your breath. "I should be the one who's dead." He looked at you confused, "What did you say?" You looked up this time. "I..I should be dead...they were needed I'm not.." Levi frowned. "What do you mean you not needed?" You could tell he was getting more worried as he moved closer to you. "No one needs me anymore...Eren, Mikasa, Armin they're all grown up now, they don't need me anymore.." You looked down as tears began streaming down your face. "(Y/n)-" You cut him off "What's the point in living anymore. I'm worthless!" You squeezed your eyes shut."Stop it.." You ignored him. "WHO NEEDS A BROKEN, PATHETIC THING LIKE ME?!" "I DO!" You opened your eyes and looked up to Levi with small tears escaping his slightly red eyes. "I NEED YOU DAMMIT!" He said sounding angry, you looked at him wide eyed. "I need you...ever time you say that you're worthless..ever time you say you're not needed...it breaks me...it hurts...so DON'T SAY YOU'RE  NOT NEEDED WHEN YOU ARE!" You watched as Levi hunched over slightly, gripping his chest as tears steamed down his face.

You slowly walked over to him and put a hand on his cheek softly and carefully almost as if he was going to break if you weren't careful. He gripped onto your wrist causing you to yelp in pain slightly. ~~~~~~~'Crap' you thought to yourself as Levi looked at you, almost knowing what he was going to find. His face went back to his stoic ways as he looked at you "Pull your sleeve up.." You looked at him slightly scared. "N-No." He put a hand on your cheek and moved his forehead to yours. "Please..." He had so much desperation in his voice...you slowly moved your hand away and lifted up your sleeve, you looked away as he went to see your wrist. "When?" He said as he looked at fresh cuts accompanied by old scars scattered on your wrist as if you were trying to get something out. You took a deep breath, still not looking at him you began to speak in a shaky voice. "Last night was the last time I did it..." You felt his gaze on you but you still refused to look at him. "Wait here." He said as you felt his presence leave you, leaving you with an empty feeling. You still continued to look away as you heard him come back even though you were curious as to were he had been. He grabbed your shoulders carefully, moved you over to the bed and sat you down. He knelt on the floor in front of you with a hint of worry on his face...

(So I originally put that you heard him open a box not quite realising that it sounded as if he was going to propose and I mean come on people they had their first kiss last night!! So I decided to change it to remove any further confusion....moving on)

Levi's POV
I knelt down in front of her as I opened the first aid box searching through it to find the anti-bac wipes and some bandages. I looked up at her to see if she was still okay. She was just sat there, looking down at her lap as tears would fall from her eyes every so often. I reached up to her face and wiped her tears pulling her closer to me and softly kissed her slightly chapped lips. I felt a jolt run through me, never in my life had I met someone who made me feel the same way she makes me feel. I've  never showed that much emotion to someone,  I've always hid it away, never to be seen. But something about her made me not want to hide anything from her. I slowly and reluctantly moved back from her looking at her flushed face, I saw the corner of her mouth slightly lift up but it didn't reach her eyes. I smiled back before going back to my main task, cleaning the self inflicted wounds. I looked at them, such soft skin. I bent down and kissed her wrist before I took a wipe and began to carefully wipe her cuts, she flinched slightly a causing me to look up at her. "Sorry, this might sting a little." She nodded slightly as i went back to her wrist, i was trying so hard to be gentle with her. I'm not used to being so delicate with something or someone. Once i had finished wiping i grabbed the bandage and began to carefully wrap it around her wrist.

I felt her stare at me as i focused on the wrapping. "Why are you doing this?" She said in a quiet voice. "Stop hurting yourself." I said ignoring her question. "But-" I looked up at her "Please" I've never been like this with anyone...she really has a hold on me. Her eyes went wide before a sincere look washed over her beautiful (s/t) face. "Ok...I promise" I cut off the bandage and pulled her sleeve down again. "Thank you." I said as I kissed read forehead. I bent back down again and looked at her face once more. "Where else?" She looked at me slightly shocked. "I-ur..." She sighed as she gave me her other wrist, I sighed as I slowly pulled her sleeve up, I gasp slightly as i look at her other wrist, this one's much worse. I pull her sleeve up higher, all the way up to her elbow. It makes me feel sick looking at it, it brings back horrible memories and hurts me because I never knew she was doing this and...I don't know I just hate the idea of her doing this to herself. I swallow down the tears as I begin to clean and wrap the wounds. Once I finished I asked her once more "Is there any where else?" She looks at me with sadness glossing over her (e/s) (e/c) eyes she shakes her head causing me to nod in relief. I roll my sleeves up as i pick up the wipes i hear her gasp slightly 'damn it'.

Your POV
You stare at his wrist. Scars. Lines. All over his wrists. You grabbed them causing him to drop what was in his hands. You looked at them closely almost as if you were memorising them. You slowly look up at him only to see him looking away, seeming as if he was ashamed of what you were looking at. 'I know that feeling' you thought to yourself. You carefully placed his hands on your lap and placed a hand on his cheek to make him look at you. You smiled at him sincerely once he made eye contact with you, "I'm so proud of you." He looked at you in slight shock "W-What do you mean?" "You've been through all of this," You gestured to his scarred wrists. "And yet you've got through to the other side and you even helped me." You felt tears fall down your (s/t) cheeks. You watch as Levi cries and smiles at the same time. "We're a mess huh?" You giggle slightly. "I guess you're right."

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HOLY SMOKES 50K READS GAAAAAAAAAAAAH okay I have to get dinner but HERE *throws fanfic* ILL BE BACK SOON MY FRIENDS LOVE YOOOOOOU