Invisible

Chapter 24: Listen to understand

Blair's POV

Do us a favor, kill yourself and your girlfriend. 

It was the only thing that was on my mind. Seeing that on my locker, in my school, in my life... People will forever link that sentence to me. They'll think even worse of me. They'll judge me even more.

I ran and ran. I heard Rachel call for me, but I wasn't in the mood to talk. I didn't want to see anyone, right now. I just wanted to be alone.

I lost her in the mass of people, I knew they'd let me pass. They despise me.

I ran out of school and back home, as fast as I could. I needed to be alone, I needed to be in my house, in my room. Where it was safe. Where I'd be alone. Where I'd be with Willow.

Willow... She'll judge me too.

I entered my house, running upstairs. I closed and locked my bedroom door. I let my backpack fall onto the ground, sniffling.

I walked to the window, opening it. I knew Willow would come. She must've heard the situation at school, who wouldn't?

I laid down in bed, crying. Why were people so mean to me? What did I do to them?

That's when I heard a little knock.

I sat up, seeing Willow enter my room. "Hey." She walked to me, slowly. I knew she was already judging me, I saw it in her eyes. "How are - "

"You hate me!" I cried out. "Everyone hates me!"

Willow sat down next to me. "I know."

I cried, looking down. "I don't know why." I looked back up at her. "What did I do wrong?"

Willow slowly caressed my cheek. "You're too nice for this world, love."

I cried more. "What am I supposed to do about that?"

"Nothing." Willow stood up. "It's your fate."

I looked down, crying more. I was broken, I felt broken. Nick finally succeeded in his sick plan. I hate him, I hate everyone. Just like everyone hates me.

I looked back up at Willow. "Help me."

Willow nodded, she seemed to understand immediately what I meant. She reached for my hands and pulled me up. We walked to my bathroom. "Sit down."

I sat down on the ground, waiting for Willow to sit in front of me.

When she did, she took my arm. "Are you ready?"

I looked her in the eyes then looked at my arm, it was still healing. I gulped.

"You know you have to."

I looked back up at her, nodding. "I'm ready."

Willow smiled a little. She looked down, at my arm, and slowly started.

I closed my eyes, focusing on the pain I felt right now. It really was the only pain I was feeling right now, and it felt good. The pain was here, only.

For now.

Then it stopped.

I opened my eyes. Willow was standing up, taking some toilet paper. She made some wet and then sat down again. She took my arm, slowly dipping the wet toilet paper on it.

I flinched at first but Willow had a fairly good grip on my arm, keeping it steady.

After cleaning it, she dried it, slowly. "There," She stood back up, throwing the paper in the toilet. "That should be alright."

I looked down, at my arm. I sniffled. "I don't feel alright, Willow."

Willow sat down in front of me again. "Do you need more?"

I looked at her. And slowly, I nodded.

She nodded, taking my other arm this time. "I'll take care of it, love."

_____________________________

A couple of minutes had passed. Willow was gone, she had to go but promised to come back later on. For bed time.

I was still seated on my bathroom floor, leaning against the wall. My arms bleeding, my clothes painted with blood. 

My eyes were closed. I was crying silently, sniffling in the process. I was tired, I was done, I was broken. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't return to school anymore.

"Blair?"

I kept on sniffling. I didn't care anymore.

"Blair?"

I knew that was Rachel, I bet she was the one calling me before. Go away, I don't want to talk.

That's when the door slowly opened. "Blair?"

Then... Silence...

I heard a gasp. "Blair!" Suddenly hands where caressing my face. "Blair, what have you done?!"

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing Rachel take toilet paper. She tried cleaning my arms, so very gently. And she succeeded. The bleeding stopped, my arms looked cleaner.

She looked at me, caressing my cheek. "Blair," Her eyes were filled with tears, she was upset with me, disappointed in me. "Why did you do this?"

I shrugged.

"Please Blair." She sniffled. "I don't understand."

I looked away.

"What was written on your locker today..." Rachel started, making me look at her again. "It wasn't true. Whoever did that doesn't know you like I do, they're missing out."

I looked down again. I bursted out in tears. "I don't know who I am anymore."

Rachel was crying too. I don't know if she was crying at what I was saying, at the state of my arms or just because she feels pity for me... But do I care? Not at all.

"You are Blair. And you're an amazingly sweet person." She sniffled, caressing my cheeks. "I don't want you to lose that. I love that about you."

I tried looking at her, in her eyes. However, I looked down. I just felt empty inside. I felt like I was slowly losing who I was. But I didn't want her to know that, she'd only treat me differently.

"I'm here for you, Blair." She wiped away my tears. "I won't let those jerks get to you again. I won't let them hurt you anymore."

I closed my eyes, crying again.

"Blair, please." She made me look at her. "You need to talk to me." I opened my eyes, to look her in the eyes. They seemed so genuine, she really wanted to help me. 

I slowly nodded. "What do I say?"

"Everything, anything you want."

I nodded, slowly looking down.

"Take your time."