Invisible

Chapter 35: It's complicated

Blair's POV

She's kissing me, she did it. She's willingly kissing me. Me, of all people.

Rachel kept caressing my cheek, her other hand was holding my waist and held me close to her. She didn't waste any time, she just kept going and going.

And me, I was paralyzed. I was enjoying it, but I was too nervous to take any actions. Instead, I let her lead me. And that worked, for a while. Until she pulled back.

I looked at her, I was lost for words. So many thought were running through my mind, yet none was sticking with me. I was overcome with feelings. I still loved her. And she knew.

Finally she opened her eyes. She let out a breath before showing me a warmhearted smile. And that gesture, that to me meant she meant to do this. This wasn't a mistake, she wanted this.

She caressed my cheek. "That was really good."

I let out a nervous chuckle. "R-really?"

She hummed. "You're a really good kisser."

I smiled but couldn't shake off the feeling that we weren't supposed to do this. I mean, both of us were dating. She was dating my brother!

"Did you like that?"

I slowly nodded.

She smiled and leaned in again, once again making my heart jump in my chest. 

Eventually she ended on top of me, and we continued kissing for a big part of the night. Nothing else happened, we didn't have sex. But I still cheated on Willow, and she... Rachel cheated on Luke.

______________________________

The next day I woke up pretty early, without an alarm clock. I just woke up, and I felt good. I felt happy, I felt loved.

Suddenly two arms wrapped around me from behind. "Good morning." Rachel kissed my cheek.

I slightly looked at her. "Morning."

She released me a little which allowed me to turned myself and face her. "How did you sleep?" She once again caressed my cheek.

"It was good."

She nodded and smiled. "Good."

I nodded and slowly looked away. It's weird how after last night, it felt different. It felt weird, in a way.

"Do you regret kissing me?"

This made me look at her immediately. "No. No, I don't."

She smiled again. "You don't seem that happy after last night."

"I was thinking about Willow," Her face changed immediately. "And Luke." She looked at me. "We cheated on them. It's not right."

"What's not right is the way they treat you, both of them."

I looked down.

"They both deserve to feel bad for once."

I turned on my back. "I don't know about that."

"Blair," She sat up, leaning on her arms. "They deserve it."

"Maybe," I looked away. "But I love them." I looked back at her. "And you do too. You love Luke, you two are dating."

She sighed. "I know."

"Why did you kiss me, Rachel? Be honest."

She looked at me. "I love you, Blair."

"We both know you love Luke in that way and not me. So why did you kiss me?" I don't know where that confidence came from, but it was there. Thanks Willow.

"I do love you in that way."

At that, I sat up. I wasn't having this, not now. "Let's get breakfast." I got up and started walking to the door.

"Blair," she said, making me stop halfway. "Can we keep this between us, for now?"

I slowly turned around, facing her. "W-what?"

She gulped, she knew she was asking a lot of me now. "Let's not tell them now, things are complicated."

I looked down, she wanted to keep last night between us. She wanted to pretend everything was normal, like nothing even happened.

While I was thinking, she walked to me. "I know I ask a lot." She started which made me look at her. "But I don't want them hurting you any more. Can we keep this between us for now?"

I looked her in the eyes and slowly nodded.

She smiled a little. "Thanks." She then leaned in again and kissed me. It was a gentle kiss, a nice gesture. "Let's have breakfast." She pulled me downstairs, to the dinning table.

Mom, dad and Luke were all already sitting there. "Good morning." Dad smiled. "Did you sleep well?" He gave me all his attention.

I went to sit down in front of him. "Yes, I did." In the corner of my eyes, I saw Rachel smile. She should be careful.

"I missed you." Luke reached for Rachel's hand. "I wanted you to sleep next to me."

Rachel showed him a small smile. Luke was happy with that gesture, but I could see she forced that smile. I don't know how I knew that, I just did. And that made me wonder... Did she even like Luke anymore?

"So what are the plans for today?" mom asked, looking around the table.

"Well school." Luke answered, then looked at us. "Then me and Rach are going out."

"We are?" She seemed so different now. Her behavior towards him... It wasn't the same anymore. And I wonder, I wonder if that changed because of last night. Or maybe I'm just seeing things...

He nodded. "We're going shopping, for the dance. Remember?"

"Oh right." She looked at me. "And you were going with that person..." She didn't seem pleased at all.

"Who's Blair going with?" mom asked, now she was worried. "I didn't know you were dating, Blair."

"She is." Dad smiled proudly.

I looked everywhere, it's funny how a conversation about yourself is being held and you're not involved...

"Who is she dating?" mom asked once again, but not to me.

"A girl, named... Willo?"

I chuckled. "It's Willow, dad."

"Of course, Willow." He smiled. He then looked at mom. "She's dating Willow." See what I mean, the talking was happening without me.

"And she's going with Willow?"

Rachel looked at me. "Why aren't you going with her?" Finally, a question directly at me...

I shrugged. "Nick asked me first and Willow isn't really a people-person."

"Kinda like you." Luke suddenly said.

"Luke!" Rachel wasn't having this. And Luke, he didn't know why Rachel was this defensive about me. However, he deserved it. "Why do you always have to be so mean to her?"

Luke blinked, he looked so confused. "Rach, I - "

"I don't care about your excuses anymore." She got up. "I'm in your room, Blair." She then went upstairs again.

I gulped. "I'm going to get ready for school as well." I got up and slowly walked upstairs, leaving Luke with our confused parents.