Newt imagines 2

13 reasons why

Newt wondered through the glade, it was just him, everyone else was working. The sun beating down but a cold breeze through his hair. He was happy for the first time since y/n had gone, it was feeling he thought he might never feel again, that day when the sloppers found her in the bathtub... He shivered at the memory, he had felt empty, he still did, but not at this exact moment.

He wanted her here, by his side, hand in hand as they strolled through the green waves of grass. He knew she would be laughing, she would have looked happy. Not that he had known inside was a hurting, upset girl who was in need of a hug and a cup of hot chocolate.

The sun was begging to hide behind the trees of the deadhead as they moved closer. "Newt!"
He span round, half expecting y/n, but no, instead it was the acne covered butcher boy, Winston.
"Oh, hey Winston."

The boy walked right up to Newt, like he wanted no one else nearby. "You going somewhere?"

Newt scratched his neck. "Umm, yeah I was going to go to see the grave they dug."

Winston nodded his head. "Can I join?"

Newt nodded, secretly wanting to say no, but then that is the mask we all put on. So now he had Winston at his side. Not y/n.

They got to the graveyard in no time, and there it was. The freshly dug hole parallel to the stone wall. Newt stood at the foot of it, it was much smaller than expected, especially for a person with such a big personality. Besides the hole was a large pile of dirt, the soil was damp and light ready to be put back. There was even a shovel still inside it ready for tonight.

The funeral.

Winston at his side, they both watched the hole like it was going to do something, maybe fill its self still empty.

Winston coughed breaking the perfect silence. Newt was having third thoughts about letting him come. "I heard about these letters."

It was a surprise to Newt, the whole glade was talking about it, everyone paranoid about their name being on the next one the ivy trio would find. Some gladers were even trying to find them, but only a friend of y/n would ever be able to find one.

"You ever thought about gathering them all up, unopened and burning them all?" Winston asked, his eyes still glued on the hole.

"They're all I have of left of her." Newt responded, his throat was dry, no longer did he want to talk. "I need to know why she killed herself, otherwise I will go crazy."

They both stared into each other, a conflict of opinions. "They are going to destroy the glade Newt, turn you against each single one of us. They won't satisfy you, they will kill you."

Newt snapped at him. "How do you even know what they are like?! Hypocrite! No one besides me, Tommy and Minho have read them..." His eyes baring down into Winston saw that all he was saying was wrong.

"Newt, I may not have been a labelled friend of y/n, but I knew her like the back of my hand." Winston cowered away from the exploding Newt.

"You found one?!" Newt realised, he was clenching his jaw so tight to the point of his teeth gritting against one another.

Winston kept backing away. "I was clearing out in the slaughterhouse before she died and I found it."

Before she died.

Newt ran at the boy grabbing his by his shoulders and slamming him against the tree. "You knew she was going to kill herself?!"

"No, no." Winston squealed struggling in Newt's painful grip. "I gave the letter to Alby, I only got to read it afterwards." He said it like a confession, like he had reluctantly told Newt after hours of torture.

It must have eaten away at the keeper, to know that if he had opened the letter he could have saved a life worth saving.

Newt dropped the boy, he landed on his feet, knees buckling and losing balance. 

"Newt you have to understand that I loved y/n more than you could understand, I never meant to hurt her, it was just love."  Winston sobbed on the floor.

"Who's name is in the letter?" Newt grilled the boy, grabbing him by the hair so his snarled face was forcing into the sobbing one.

"Mine, mine." Winston gargled on snot, choking on his guilt. "Newt... Wait where are you going?"

"I have an important discussion with Alby." Newt stormed off into the deadhead, leaving a trailed of snapped branches and flattened flowers.