Newt imagines 2

She's Not Me

The cider was sweet and fizzy as it gushed down my throat, the spirits only kicking afterwards, I coughed and spluttered as it burnt, a hand cupping my throat. I stared across the fire with heavy eyes, and shoved the last drop into my stomach, wiping the saliva drooling out on my sleeve. She was sat there her glistening hair flowing down her slim figure, her voice like angels singing as she laughed, her hand running over his face. He gazed up at the girl on his knee, pure love and happiness glistening in his smile. He was so captured by her he didn't notice me.... he never noticed me.... not anymore. We had been through all hell, and he had never taken a second look once and who could blame him, there was nothing about me to take a second glance at. Once you've seen it you don't want to see it again.
The fire spat up a plume of burning ashes, Newt disappearing behind them for a moment. I had lost him in the fire before. In the fire of the fight as our friends were butchered around us by machines disguised as creatures. It was only in the scorch that all the pretty girls turned up, then I became history, just another dead friend to him. Not his loving girlfriend for three whole years.

I put the can in the trash bag I had been given, it wasn't anywhere near full, but you would at least expected me to have had a party if you examined the contents. Bottle, after bottle, after cans and cans of alcohol.

The left arm people left a void around me as they walked off to their tents, tired of the celebrations. We had only been here a day and I was already getting a reputation of a wreck. I rubbed my hair in my face and groaned.
My butt had gone numb on this log a while back, now my arms were lost, they did as they pleased, and my feet just jingled around in the sand underneath me. My body had been set wild so it wasn't a shock when it stood up without my permission, but I hated it when it moved around the fire to the people opposite me. The ones I had been death staring for the past two hours.

No one really took much notice off me as I walked around they're eyes all moving away back to their mates they had been in deep conversation with. It was only when I stood between them and the fire that they took any notice. I turned my hand around, the colours of the fire had become my race. "Lets play a game." I giggled, curling my arms around my body, they didn't reach the whole way around... I bet hers did. I slumped them back to my side, I was showing them why I could never be loved. How stupid could I be?
"Who can jump through the fire! You can go first." I grabbed onto the girls arm, she squealled, pushing me away, my fingers not working well enough to get a solid hold.
A few of the guys jumped to their feet exclaiming I was crazed. I wasn't crazed! I was broken... by him.
Newt got up and twisted my arm behind my back gently as I reached out for the girl again. "I think someone should be going to bed." He whispered, he was obviously embarrassed by me, the way he kept looking at his new mates, his face red hot.
"With you?" I whispered back, a free hand reaching for his face.
He snapped his face away. "On your own y/n."
I groaned, my feet sliding in the sand as he started to walk me off towards the pointy green rug I had as my homestead for the night.

"You know you don't love her." I told him, as Newt pushed me by the shoulders firmly, making me sit on the fold out bed. I rolled back giggling like a child. He pulled me back up so I was sitting, raising an eyebrow. "And you know that cause?"
I jerked a thumb at my own face. "Because its me!" I laughed.
He shook his head and knelt down, pulling my foot onto his knee and undoing my shoe laces. I reached out and stroked his hair, it was how I imagined a lion's mane felt. I remember when this used to be normal, when he would bury his head into my neck as he cried and I would stroke his hair and sing. I gulped, the memories seeming to sobber me up instantly. "I miss the glade."
Newt groaned and took my shoe off, placing it under the edge of the bed, he picked up my other foot and started on that one. "You know why we broke up y/n. Don't try to make me feel guilty."
I lay back on the bed, my trousers tight around my waist, I fiddled with the button attempting to undo them whilst intoxicated. "Yes, yes, we fell out of love." I said mocking his voice for the last part.
"Then stop getting all jealous." Newt said having finished with my last foot. "Where are your pajamas?" I pointed them out to him.
I lay there as he preapred them for me to enter. "You know we would have made it.... just because we lost people doesn't mean we must loose each other."
We had been so distant after the maze to the point that even holding hands seemed wrong. We were alive and our friends, Chuck and Alby were dead, and we had to live with that. We couldn't even celebrate our own survival.
He took my hands away from my trousers and did it himself, pulling them down my legs, I shimmied to help him, not noticing I was making it worse. He put my pj shorts on and then pulled me so i was sat up. His hand delicate with me, also controlling, however it lacked the passion he would have had a few months ago.
"Maybe your right ok? Maybe us breaking up was a mistake, but it is done now, and we have to get on with that. Wicked are still hunting us down, y/n, and the last thing we need it to be getting drunk." He pulled my top over my head. I slumped forwards suddenly feeling very cold, I whimpered and hugged myself.
Newt sighed and shook his head. "Don't cry love."
I wanted to stop but I couldn't my bottom lip was quivering, getting closer and closer to tears. I wipped my eyes down. "I can't..." I took a deep breath and began to sob. Newt wrapped his arms around my shoulder and hugged me, resting his chin on my head. "Your not the only one hurting love..." He began. "I miss the glade too, I bloody miss Alby and his grumpy ways," he chuckled at the thought his eyes going to the cloth ceiling. "And I miss you all the time, but things happened to us, we can only hurt each other by being together."
I laughed through the tears, we could never be bad for each other, only us being seperated could be bad for each other. "I love you still." I wept, clutching handfuls of his top.
He pried me off and wriggled me into my top, he stroked my hair back and smiled. "My beautiful y/n, I love you too, but look at you. We are only bad for each other, you need someone who can make you forget the memories, and that really isn't me."
"But.." i whined, he was so unfair. We had been good for each other and we could be good for each other again.
"No, you are drunk off your head, you bloody light weight, go to bed and I'll see you at breakfast." He tucked the covers in around me so I wouldn't fall out in the night.
I nodded, my eyes already weighed down by the drying salt. "Without her?" I yawned, my breath stinking of alcohol and saliva.
Newt shook his head. "With her." He leant down and pecked my cheek. "Good night love."