Suicidal Love

Funeral Chaos

Today was Nash's funeral. It has been three days since I found out my best friend was stabbed, and bled to death. It's so sad, yet so bizarre.

"C'mon Cam, we are going to be late." Hayes yelled at me. I finished tying my tie and I ran out the door. I had a black suit on, I felt so colorless and plain, I never wear suits. Hayes and I got in the car and drove away. There was only the background of the radio playing the whole car ride. After a while, all the music stopped on the radio and they started to talk about Nash.

Change channel, Nash talk.

Change channel, still Nash talk.

I was sick and tired of it so I banged on the radio so hard that it turned off. Hayes just stared at me, mouth wide open.

"What?" I rudely yelled at him. He looked away, god he can be so annoying.

We arrived and right as I parked the car, Hayes jumped out and slammed the door. Wow, I was already done with him.

"Hayes, what the fuck was that for?" I yelled at him. All the fangirls standing in front of the church all turned to Hayes and I.

"You have been going crazy this whole morning. You need to chill out man." He yelled back at me.

"Well Hayes, my best friend just died. How do you think I should act?"

"I LOST MY BROTHER. MY OWN BROTHER." Hayes screamed. His eyes began to water. Oh god.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. He wouldn't let himself cry in front of all our fans, it would make him look weak. We walked up to some of the fans, we said our hellos and our "sorrys" to each other. I felt awful for those girls. They dedicated their lives to him. Hayes and I walked inside, and since it was a private event, the fans couldn't come in, so they all left and went to the cementery already. When i got inside, I saw the rest of the boys in the front row along with the rest of Nash's relatives. Hayes and I quickly ran to the front pew and sat down.

Shawn walked up to the piano to start the ceremony.

"I've heard there was a secret chord,

That David played, and it pleased the Lord,

But you don't really care for music, do ya?" He sang. After he finished the song, he walked back to his seat, next to Johnson and Aaron, and broke down a little. They patted his back and he wiped away his tears.

*An hour later, end of ceremony*

"We have one last speech from Mr. Dallas." The priest said. I got up and walked up to the podium. I pulled out my crumbled up piece of paper with the speech I had written on it from my back pocket, and took a deep breath.

"Who is Nash? Nash, was the man of many different characteristics. His charm, his sense of humor, his way of always being kind to others. He fulfilled every characteristic that a man should want to become. I have known him for a year and a half now. Not too long, I know, but it felt like we have known each other for years and years. We were the same in so many ways. We were so different in even more ways. That's just what made us, the greatest best friends ever.... To wrap this up, He was the most amazing person on the planet. His funny personality, his physco moments, his smart thinking ways, and even his smile. His smile that made you feel a little more human... Nash, if you are listening, I love you man. And I miss you. A lot." All these thoughts starting flooding through my mind. If I die now, I will be with Nash. If I stay alive, I will be living normally... but without him. It wasn't normal without him though. I thought, which meant more to me, heaven with Nash? Or life with everything but Nash? I quickly made my decision. I ran off the podium and ran to the stairwell. I ran up the stairs abd up to the roof, faster than ever.

"Cameron what are you doing?" I heard the boys behind me yell. I ran the edge of the building.

"I'll see you soon Nash." And with that, I fell to the top of the church.