Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

9

The following morning, in the breakfast table, Sirius couldn't help himself from staring at the boy who sat next to him. Well, he never really could, but this morning the urge was overwhelming.
Things were moving fast, perhaps a bit too fast, and even with all of it's perks, it was scary as hell.
A soft rosy red rose on the long haired boy's cheeks every time Remus' eyes met with his. He couldn't really breathe in potions class that morning either, as Remus insisted in being his work pair. And professor Slughorn was so very fine with the two working together, probably hoping that Remus would encourage the young troublemaker into studying. Well, that the tall boy couldn't do, and infact the two being a pair affected on Remus' outstanding potions reputation quite negatively. All because he too was lost on the sea of Sirius' eyes. So lost, that he completely ignored the professor's teaching, and when Slughorn asked him about powdered griffin claw's effect on Strengthening Solution, he had absolutely no idea what was going on.
Meanwhile Peter and James were still confused, as nobody had cared to tell them what was going on. Well, it would have been kinda hard actually, as neither Remus or Sirius themselves really knew either. James had some hard time in deciding wether to stare at Lily and how she so peacefully, beautifully sat across the room with Snivellus, or to stare at his best friend who had that foolish look on his face. Little did James know, that he had the exact same look on his face every time he looked at Lily.
Peter was mostly worried. He had never really experienced any sort of crushing, so he didn't really recognise that look either. He didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but judging from Sirius' plate that had been somewhat full in the breakfast table, he'd say it was good. Because Peter knew his friends better than his own pockets, and Sirius was that kind of person who completely lost his apetite whenever he wasn't feeling well. Of course, Peter had no idea how anyone could refuse from food...

It was like a daydream. The two boys were in a constant state of haze, the kind that blocked everything from the outside world, only leaving the odd flutter in their lungs. But that haze started to fade as the morning became afternoon, and the fear started to creep back up into Sirus' heart. It was so big, so strong that it somehow had it's own will, and it wanted to push Remus away. Just because if the boy would stay, tere at his place in Sirius' heart, he'd be in terrible danger.
The Black family was a bunch of crazy old motherfuckers, and finding out there was actually more than just a crush going on in between Sirius and a half blood fucking werewolf, would lead to two things. First, the death threat Orion kept rubbing against Sirius' face, it'd become reality. A simple wave of the old man's wand, and there'd be no faggot Gryffindor ruining his family's reputation. Another, and the ministry would never know. The second thing, Remus would be in danger too. Orion wouldn't just let the boy who made his first born gay walk free. He'd send someone, maybe even go himself, and hunt the teenager down. And again, with just a wave of his wand he'd make the problem go away. The Black family would be free of it's public source of shame, and all that there'd be left was the inside. The ugly, perverted core that made their blood black. There'd be the incest, the quilt and the dirty hands of all of their forefathers. And that, the filth and shit, it was everything Sirius didn't want. He wanted to run from it. He was afraid of it, the way it ruined every single thing he ever cared about. It'd ruin Remus. He was certain it would.

So as he sat there, in the library, watching Remus study, he made a choise.
One between what he wanted, what his heart desired, and what Remus needed. What he needed to do to keep that boy safe.