Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

10

"I know that you're anxious. Scared, even. I can smell it on you. What is it?"
Remus' voice was soft, but concerned none the less.
"I'm-I..."
Sirius stuttered a bit, waking up from the storm of thoughts that had apparently lasted until sundown. They should be returning to the common room soon. The library had gone completely silent, the two boys were the only ones left.
"Wait what? You can smell it?"
That childish wonder, the old Sirius returned for just a moment. It was also a way to distract Remus from his question, one that the long haired boy hadn't figured an answer for yet.
"We've talked about this, haven't we? It's the wolf in me."
Remus smiled a bit, because of the tone in Sirius' voice had just for that one sentence been just like the one he hadn't heard in such a long time. Voice of healthy Sirius, well, as healhy as a kid from a family like that can be. Voice without all that pain and fear.
"You ignored my question, Snuffles."
The silence that followed, the dramatic change of expression on Sirius' face, it was quite notable.
"I..."
He pulled his hand off the table as he noticed it trembling.
"I'm afraid that..."
His voice was too, he was ashamed of it. The way his fear was taking control. And Remus, as observant and good friend as always, noticed this. So he slid his hand under the table too, wrapping his tall fingers around Sirius' shaking ones.
"I'm afraid of what will happen to you when people start to find out about... this."
"They won't. They won't find out I promise."
The warmth of the taller boy's hand, the sparkle in his warm golden eyes, they made Sirius want to believe that what Remus said was true. But deep inside he was certain, it wasn't. Black, that name carried power. And with enough power, you can have anything you want. And what Orion wanted, was proof of Sirius' sickness, proof strong enough for him to snap for the last time. And he would get that proof, and it'd be easy. Many people had started to notice things. The girls were taking in the corridors, talking about how the cool and cute Sirius Black had that look in his eyes whenever he was with Remus Lupin. Girls, especially Marlene McKinnon who obivously had a big time crush on Sirius, had noticed everything. And if that everything, or even a tiny part of it would reach Lucius Malfoy's ears, or let's just say almost any Slytherin's, it would automatically be reported back to 12 Grimmauld Place.
"No. They will find out. And then... and then both of us will get hurt. I don't know if I've ever made it that clear, but murder is just a way of sorting out problems in my family. My father, he... has killed before. And he will kill again. The threats, they aren't just a way to make me scared. They are real."
Remus was a bit speechless. He knew that things were bad, that they were worse than just bad, awful... but he had no idea about the real, bigger picture. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.
"My uncle Alphard, he has been on my father's list for a while now. A long while. He was burned off from the Black family tree when he was sixteen, when he ran away. That's what I wanna do. Fuck the family tree, fuck my father. Except I can't... because Orion Black has this ability, this fucking unbelievable way of finding out about everything. Every single thing."
Sirius' voice was rising, though luckily no-one than Remus could hear him. Well, that's what he thought.