Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

34

The bad memories may have made Sirius cry, but the happy ones destroyed him. Made him shake on the floor of his father's study, covering his mouth with his cold fingers as he tried his best not to scream.
It all hurt way too much. His memories of Remus. The way the boy laughed, how he smiled, how soft his lips were. The feeling of his scarred skin against Sirius' own. His voice, how it was deep and smooth. Like black coffee. And his eyes, how they glimmered in the shades of gold on the night of their first kiss.

They were all in the bottle now.

And Sirius picked himself up from the floor, the cold void in him growing, feeling like a cold iron blade had just sung trough his heart.
To be in love was total agony, he thought. But to be in love and have all that boiling rage and pain rush trough his veins at the same time, all added up to the quilt and agony of unapproval and violence at home, he couldn't take it.

The hallway was just as silent as it had been before, as he stood out of the study. Pressing the silently creaking door shut behind him, bare feet stepping softly on the wood.
Everything felt way more calm now.
Calm before the storm, maybe.
The grandfather clock hit four AM in the drawing room. Sirius made his way down to the basement to return the keys.

"Master Sirius?"
A creaking, low and grumpy voice muttered in the darkness, causing Sirius to drop the bottles from his already tensed up hands. He was terrified. Kreacher was down in the basement.
"I-I was just..."
He triet to stutter as he fell on his knees on the dirty basement floor, trying to find the bottles in the dark, praying that they weren't broken.
"Speak nothing of this, Kreacher, please! My father will kill me!"
The boy hissed trough his teeth with shock and anger. The house elf just stared at him from the shadows.
"Kreacher cannot lie to his master."
He muttered, voice barely loud enough for Sirius to hear trough his hammering heartbeat echoing in his ears.
"But you don't have to tell him if he doesn't ask! Please, I'm begging you!"
A short silence fell, as Sirius found the bottles. Both of them were in one piece, all the memories still safely inside. He put the bottles in his pocket before Kreacher had time to see what they contained. If luck was on his side, the elf would just think they were bottles of firewhisky Sirius tried to sneak up to his room.
"Fine then, master Sirius. Kreacher will not tell."
"Thank you!"
And that being said, the long haired teenager dropped the keys there on the floor and just pushed them under the stairboards with his feet as he turned to get out of the cellar. He wouldn't be able to get them past Kreacher, who was apparently in the basement kitchen to prepare Orion's breakfast that'd be served at five, just before he'd leave to the ministry meeting.

As he walked up all the four sets of stairs up to his room, Sirius noticed that he wasn't afraid anymore. At all. Not of his parents waking up, or even of them finding out what he had been doing. As long as he'd be able to fill that shoe box and get it safely to Remus when school would start, all would be well.
There were only few things on his list of things he had to do before returning to school. A few more letters to write.
To James, Peter, Regulus and his mother. Orion wouldn't deserve that attention. That man deserved nothing.