Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

20

The full moon was rising. Remus felt it in the air. His hands were shaking as he locked the shackles around his wrists. The iron was cold, hard against his soft skin. He had demanded his friends to stay at the dorm that night. Last full moon, he had accidentally shoved James against a wall so hard his ribs were bruised for weeks after. And all the sadness and rage that had been bottling up inside of him for a month was bound to spill out the second the moonlight would touch his skin.

"Be careful not to kill yourself tonight."
Sirius had sounded way too serious as he said that. Remus just smiled, kissing the shorter boy's forehead gently. It was hard to do gentle things when his blood felt like it was boiling.
"Sure."
He had answered, letting go of the boy's cold hand and walked away to the shrieking shack.

It was dark. Remus started to strip off his clothes, hoping to spare even some of them from breaking as the transformation would begin. It was cold, the old and broken windows were covered with frost. It was snowing, the cold wind blew snowflakes trough the holes in the glass. They danced around Remus' freezing body like dust in the morning sun.
He thought about Sirius, as he stood there. How cold the boy must have felt, all the time. And how unfair it was that nobody was able to help him.

Then it began, the white rays of moonlight shone trough the windows, painting the abandoned building blue. It was silent, but it was ringing loudly inside Remus' ears. He felt his veins pulsating, eyes widening, ears sharpening. Fangs growning.
He focused on thinking about Sirius' face, as his bones started to snap out of their places. He focused on that feeling he had had the other day, crying on the boy's bare chest. Like for once he truly belonged somewhere. Like for once he felt safe, he had a person there to feel him. To touch him, to understand.
He howled of pain, as he was loosing every last bit of his human form. Claws pushing out of the skin of his fingertips, ripping his body apart. He struggled in the shackles, violently throwing his growing, breaking body from side to side of the room. Trying his best to break the iron, not able to control his actions. The pain was piercing, but in a way it purified him. Made everything a little more clear. And he howled and roared at that huge, pale moon. Cursing it to the lowest pit of hell for making him go trough all that pain. Howling for help. But nobody could hear him, and the ones who did just thought the howler was a ghost or a poltergeist, trying to scare the students of Hogwarts.

Sirius heard him. He sat by the window of the Gryffindor common room, next to the fireplace. Wishing that he could go and be there for Remus. But he had promised to stay put.
"Go to sleep, Pads. He'll be all right."
James said, noticing the terror on his best friend's face.
"But what if this time... what if tonight he won't be?"
Sirius muttered, staring at the moon.
"Shut up."
James threw a pillow, it hit the long haired boy in the face. But Sirius didn't laugh, or even smile. His heart felt too cold to do so. He felt like in a way, smiling when Remus was going trough something that horrible, would betray him.
"He'll be fine, Sirius."
Lily's gentle, vivid voice spoke from across the room. None of the three boys had noticed that she had staid at the couch reading after her friends were off to bed.
"Lily?!"
James, of course, lost his shit. The ginger girl smiled as Sirius turned his head to her way. Her smile was somehow reassuring. And a little piece of the enormous pile of rocks that weighted in Sirius' stomach, was suddenly gone. He felt heavy, still, but a little better. Because Lily was always right.