Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

37

Hours passed, it was the lunch break. Remus climbed up to the deserted Gryffindor tower with a paper bag full of sandwitches for Sirius, he threw his shoes and socks into a corner near the common room fireplace as he entered.
He didn't really know why, but socks had always annoyed him.
There was an odd weight on his chest on every step he took closer to the dorm room. And then he opened the door.

The white light that reflected from the snow outside illuminated the messy area. On Remus' neatly made bed was a brown shoe box. On top of it's lid was a text, written with black ink. His name. It was Sirius' handwriting.
The bad feeling that had haunted the boy all day, for over a month actually, it filled his lungs. His cold hands were shaking as he reached for the box, opening it. The lid fell down from the bed, on the stone floor. He knew what it was, panic growing in his heart. Cursing himself for always being right. Fuck, why was he always right?

Inside, there was a yellowish envelope with a red signet. It had no text on it, the paper surface was completely blank.
Next to it was a pair of bottles, made of clear glass. Trough them, Remus could see the liquid inside, and he knew exactly what they were. It felt like his heart was ripped away from his chest, like a pair of rough, cold hands had clutched it and violently ripped it apart. It was Sirius' memories.
And without even touching anything inside the box, he forced his shocked, aching body up from the bed, and with his shaking and weak legs he sprinted trough the messy dorm room to the hallway, down the stairs and trough the Gryffindor tower door. And on every shaking step he took, he could feel his own heartbeat in his ears. Violently beating against his skull like a hammer. His eyesight blurried, the cold and harrowing feeling inside of him grew on every running step. He ran trough the groups of students in the hallways, all of them staring at him like a lunatic. He ran outside to the fountain and past it, wet snow froze his bare feet, but he didn't even notice the pain from over the one clawing in his chest. He made his way down the snowy hill, following the footsteps filling with snow towards the Black Lake. Tears blinded his eyes, they felt warm as they fell against his ice cold and pale cheeks. His eyesight was blurry, he heard nothing than the scared and rabid beat of his heart.
Why was this happening?
Was it really happening?

He could see it now. The quay. And as he got closer, he noticed the dark figure standing on the edge, staring down to the freezing, jet black water.

"Sirius!!"
He tried to yell, but his voice was just a whisper in the harsh winter wind. Feet rigid and frostbitten, eyes bloodshot, taste of iron in his mouth. The sound of his heartbeat was so loud it blocked out everything else, the whistle of the freezing wind and the sound of his own voice.

He ran and he ran, feeling like he was going to vomit.

It wasn't real. It couldn't be. Sirius wouldn't do this... his Sirius. His own beautiful, funny, brave, strong Sirius.

The quay was getting closer, on every minute Remus' stomach was ready to give out, afraid of having to watch the boy jump.

He kept screaming his name, until his throat was raw. He yelled and yelled until his vocal chords were aching, and he kept going. Feet hitting the snow faster than ever, painful thumping hammering in his ears. Blood escaping his freezing feet. Screaming like an animal, over and over again.

The boy didn't hear him trough the blowing wind.