Pensieve - Wolfstar Fanfiction

13

"James..."
Remus' voice was quiet, compassionate. Warm even, the knind that always made James feel at least slightly okay.
"Where were you? Answer the bloody question."
The boy's sad face started to turn a bit bitter.
"Rem had to study. I went with him and we didn't notice how time flew by."
Sirius was staring at his shoes, knowing that his explanation wasn't even close to the one James was going to demand.
"Yeah, like you'd ever step your toe in the library without being paid to do it. Something is going on with you two, but more importantly, something is going on with you Sirius. You are my best friend, man. Don't... don't shut me out like this."
The bitter shifted back to sad as he spoke, taking a step forward to Sirius.
"I'm not shutting you out, Prongs."
The long haired boy raised his head, to meet with James' hazel eyes. He was now the second shortest of the marauders, and if everything wouldn't be so fucked up right then, James would have teased him about it.
"I'm just..."
He muttered, feeling the sting in his chrest. The bruises had started to turn yellowish green from the intense blue and purple, but they were still covering most of his face.
"I'm not feeling that well. I don't want to ruin your fun."
He spoke, shaking his head and wishing it'd make the feeling go away. The answer wasn't nearly good enough for James, they all knew it.
"I get it that you'd choose Moony out of all of us to talk to, but... Pads I'm here too. Peter is. And you know, we feel a bit left out right now. I suck at this, talking about feelings and shit, this is Remus' speciality... I just feel like you are not the Sirius anymore. Not the one I used to know."
Those words, they made the black hole inside of Sirius grow bigger. The empty, cold feeling filled him again. Was he losing himself? Was he turning into someone else?
"James... he's... he has been trough a lot of shit this week."
Remus tried to hint James to back off a bit, because he saw how Sirius' muscles, his arms and even his face started to tense. And his gray eyes, the sea in them was stormy. The boy couldn't take much more, he would either cry, scream or leave next. And Remus was betting on crying.
"Maybe it'd be easier if he told us what exactly is going on, Remus. Maybe we'd all feel a bit less shitty."
"James..."
"Don't James me, Lupin. He's never like this. You're never like this. I don't get it, what the fuck is up with you two?"
Remus looked at Sirius fondly, still serious though, asking. He wanted to know if it was okay for him to tell James that part of the truth that affected both of them. Sirius looked a bit stagnant, but gave the tall boy a tiny insecure nod. So Remus looked back at James, how the brown haired boy's face looked tense, broken and angry.
"We're... kinda uh..."
He started, but suddenly couldn't find a word to describe what was going on. It had only lasted for few days, they had only kissed twice, but most importantly they hadn't talked about what they were to even each other yet. Were they a couple? Remus didn't know, but he sure wished they were.
"We've... we..."
He stuttered, paniced look appearing in his golden eyes.
"We're together."
Sirius' melancholic, low voice saved Remus from the situation.
"Aren't we?"
He added quickly. The tall boy nodded, that odd warmth filling him up again. Just like when they first kissed.
"WhAt? Together like, as a couple or... did I just embarassingly misunderstand?"
James' face immediately lost the sadness and anger, it got replaced with confusion and small excitement.
"As a couple, yeah."
Remus said quietly, feeling how his face flushed red. Sirius' heart felt like it was going to burst.
"Oh my god... oh my shitting god you are actually serious!"
"I'm always serious."
Sirius added quietly, causing both James and Remus to look at him in utter wonder. A thud came from behind one of the common room sofas, Peter had shifted back from his rat form (he had been listening to the converstation secretly from under the furniture) and now the small boy crawled up from behind it.
"Did you just...?!"
He gasped dramatically, looking at Sirius. "I'm always serious" was one of the boy's first, shittiest puns, and he hadn't used it even once during the week they had been at school. In fact, Sirius hadn't joked even once.
"What?"
The boy just muttered, knitting his brows at the looks on his friends' faces.

"It'll get better."
Remus said as he pulled the boy into a hug. He had missed that Sirius. The one with the shit jokes.
"I think it has already started to."