Save Me

Chapter 14

Emma decided to oust her past. To stop thinking about it and to forget that it ever happened. But the last few days had proven that that was harder than initially thought. The girls past always caught up with her.

She was mainly sitting in her room all day. Going outside would just make her remember. Everything reminded her of the place she was once forced to stay at.

Her bedroom was the only safe place. It was familiar to her.

Often she fought against panic attacks and found herself running to her room. Once there, her breathing slowed down and her heart beat normalized. She could breathe again.

After nine year of living in a small room, it was hard to get used to the fact that there was more out there than just that, more than just her tiny room.

Large rooms made her feel uncomfortable. The smallest and simplest thing overwhelmed her.

Mary Margaret and David had to explain the simplest stuff to her. How to open windows for example. And more than once, they had to help her tying her shoes or pouring water into a glass. She never learned those things. So she felt more useless than ever. She was a burden for this family.

If she was honest with herself, she was already waiting for the day, they would kick her out of their home. Thinking about it, a lump formed in her throat and her heart ached.

"Emma, let's go"

The girl flinched when she heard Mary Margaret calling her. She had forgotten that she had another appointment with Regina today. Uncertain whether she should be happy or not, she made her way downstairs.

Without saying a world, the two of them drove to Reginas office.

Nervously, the girl went up some stairs and knocked on the door with the inscription 'Psychotherapist of Storybrook Regina Mills'.

Seconds later, the door latch was pushed down and it opened.

In front of the blonde stood the breathtaking woman in a tight black dress, looking as professional as always. The purple Blazer matching her lipstick made the girls heart beat faster.

"Hello Emma. Come on in" Regina said, taking a step back.

The girl did as told and then awkwardly stood in the middle of the big room. Feeling her heart rate going up and up.

Keep it together, Emma! The girl thought to herself.

She jerked as Reginas voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "Sit down wherever you want to"

Emma nodded and glanced around. There were countless seats. Why would someone need so many chairs?

After a while, she decided to sit down on a big cozy looking arm chair right next to a sofa.

Regina took the folder with Emmas name on it and sat down onto a chair opposite of Emmas.

"How are you?", the woman asked, smiling friendly.

The blonde forced herself to smile back. "I'm great, thanks. How are you?"

Regina chuckled and answered:" I'm fine"

"Mary Margaret said, that you are sitting in your room a lot, not coming out", Regina then stated gently, looking deep into the green eyes. Emma turned her gaze away.

"Do you want to tell me why?"

Emma remained silent. Playing with her fingers, her body tensed. The brunette patiently waited for an answer.

It took Emma some time to sort through her thoughts. Then she said:" I don't know. Whenever I... when my heart starts to beat faster... or when my throat tightens and I can barely breathe... I just run into my bedroom. It all stops as soon as I'm in there. So why going outside when I will just be running in again anyways?" The words where not louder than a whisper, but Regina understood and wrote something down onto her notebook.

"It's a natural reaction, Emma. In situations you feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, your body stops thinking and you panic. When that happens, it is important that you try it over and over again. It will become easier", Regina assured her.

Emma just nodded, unsure if she should belief the words of her therapist.

"How about we skip our appointment today and go eat some ice cream?" Regina suggested and smiled at the blonde.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Emma asked confused.

Regina giggled and said:" Who cares" she winked at the blonde and stood up.

Emma thought back to something wandering through her mind for days already. Her parents where surely looking for her. And the blonde was only one town away. It was just a matter of time before they'd show up and take her with them.

But without saying a word about her worries, the girl stood up and followed the brunette out the door.

Walking down the stairs, Emma could feel her throat tighten. Regina opened the exit and the sun brightly shone into the girls face. Taking a deep breath, she stepped outside.

For a lot of people, the tweeting of bird is a pleasant soothing sound. After all, they represent freedom. One would think, Emma also felt that way, hearing the birds singing. She was trapped almost all her life. So one would conclude, that the blonde loved to listen to the small creatures, right?

But Emma didn't think that way. The noises overwhelmed her and she got nervous. Her life wasn't structured at all anymore. It was a total mess. That's what the birds tirgger in her. She is overwhelmed with new and unknown things all the time. She is never allowed to catch a break from all the experiences. Of course, everyone just wants to help the teenager, But no one knows how Emma truly feels.

On the way to the ice cream shop, Emma got triggered again. Many loud and unknown sounds where to be heard and reminded Emma of her fate once again.

The conversation, Regina started with the blonde only distracted her slightly. Tensed she walked next to the psychologist and usually answered in just a word or two.

As they finally arrived at their destination, a huge queue stood in front of the shop.

"Are you alright?" Regina suddenly asked.

Emma nodded hesitantly.

"Yeah, just a little nervous"

Regina smiled at Emma encouragingly. "Being nervous on the first date is normal, isn't it?" Regina teased and winked at the blonde.

The girl blushed and a smile formed on her lips. It was fascinating how serious and professional Regina was when she was in her office, but as soon as she left it, she loosened up and joked around.

"I don't remember saying yes to a date", Emma replied, more confidently, the tension gone.

As the two of them came to order their ice cream, they were deeply involved in a discussion.

"Well, It was not my fault t-" But Regina was interrupted as the saleswoman said:" Next please"

Emma giggled as Regina kept her argument to herself and ordered a vanilla ice cream. With a triumphant smile, the blonde ordered some too and they left the shop.

The birds singing had been repressed by the ongoing discussion on their way to the next destination. Laughing loudly, Emma dropped down onto a bench a few minutes later. She was so engrossed in the conversation, that she hadn't even looked at where they were going.

The blonde fell silent as she glanced around.

"It's beautiful," she said quietly looking at the lake in front of her. Huge trees provided enough shadow to make the sun tolerable. Fish occasionally appeared and dragonflies flew up and down in front of them.

Regina, who sat next to Emma by now, and the relaxing atmosphere even made the birds tweeting bearable.

And just as the brunette gently put her hand on Emma's, the birds sounded like they were singing a song just for the both of them.