Save Me

Chapter 31

Two hours later, the women sat by the fire, grilling their marshmallows.

"I've always wondered why you wanted to become a psychologist", Emma noted as she speared a new marshmallow onto her stick. "Not that you are bad at it! You really aren't! You do a damn good job but it's an unusual one, isn't it?"

Regina smiled gently "I understand, Emma. You don't have to explain"

"So, why psychologist?" Emma asked.

Regina stared into the fire for a while. Her eyes where empty but her poster tensed.

"Sorry, you don't have to tell me", Emma said and smiled at the woman apologetically

"No, it's alright. It's just, I have never talked to anyone about it" she then said but avoided any eye contact.

Emma patiently waited and gave Regina all the time in the world to continue talking.

"You know, Emma. We are not that different. I had a similar childhood to yours", she started and Emma froze. Was she an orphan too? No, she had talked about her father earlier. Where her parents violent? Did she also get raped?

But it made no sense. Just a few hours earlier she talked about her father and seemed so happy.

"Don't get me wrong, Emma. I didn't go through the same thing you did, but in some way similar", Regina continued softly.

Emma didn't understand and patiently waited for Regina to explain.

"I was a prisoner in some ways too. But in my own home. My mother was very" She was quiet for a moment to think of the right word "Strict" she completed her sentence.

"She ignored me as often as possible, locked me in my room and pretended I didn't exist. That's why I hadn't had any friends", she closed her eyes briefly to stop the tears from falling.

"I often build myself some and talked to them. Mother always punished me for it. She humiliated me, threatened to let me starve or insulted me", her fingernails dug into the bark of the tree they were sitting on.

"I begged for her attention and love. On the rarest occasions, when I did something right, she hugged me and I... I lived only for those hugs. There soon was no other purpose for me than... to please my mother", her voice broke off and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Emma immediately embraced the woman.

"And the worst of all, I still want to do it. I still want to make her happy. Want her to be proud of me", a sob shook her body and Emma hugged her closer.

"Shh, Regina. It's okay", Emma whispered in Reginas ear and gently stroke her hair.

"My daddy was too weak to stand up to my mother. He died when I was ten and I was left alone. When finally someone realized what was happening in my house, I was already nineteen. They locked her up. They locked my mama up" the woman sobbed, didn't let go of Emma though.

"And I felt so guilty! Every day I felt guilty for being the reason why she is in jail", again her voice broke off and Emma squeezed the woman even tighter.

"Shh, it's not your fault, Regina. You are the victim, not her", Emma whispered awkwardly. Never had she been in a situation where she had to comfort someone.

Regina nodded weakly before continuing. "They sent me to a psychologist. I was in a very bad state at that time. Every day I wanted to visit her, apologize and make her happy. And the psychologist couldn't help me. I had to fight through it alone"

"I wanted to help people, so they didn't have to go through it alone like I had to. Do you understand, Emma?" she asked and looked deeply into the girls eyes.

Emma nodded and brought a hand up to Reginas cheeks to whip away the tears. "I am sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves something like that" she whispered, looking into, from tears swollen and red, eyes.

Regina starred right back and faster than Emma could think, she suddenly felt Reginas lips on her own.

Immediately, the blonde felt the urge to push the woman away, but she soon realized that this was Regina. Her Regina. The woman that just poured out her heart to the blonde. Not someone who wanted to hurt her. Not Greg.

She was safe.

So she leaned into the hug and kissed back.

But all to soon, the kiss ended and Regina pulled back in utter shock.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry! I shouldn't have.. Shi... Are you alright?! Oh god", Regina stammered. Kissing Emma could have terrible consequences for her recovery.

"Regina. Regina!", Emma said loudly and took them womans hand. "I am fine!"

Regina took a deep breath. "Oh god... our first date and I ruin everything! I mean who the hell cries on her first date?! I am sorry Emma. I shouldn't have ki-"

"Regina!", Emma said even louder. "I am good! Look!" she stood up and turned once for Regina to see that nothing was missing. "It's okay to cry sometimes. Please don't be sorry for that", the blonde sat down next to Regina again and took her hand.

"Are you alright?" she then asked and looked deeply into the brunettes eyes.

The woman just nodded, but soon it turned into a shaking of her head and with tears in her eyes, she bit onto her lower lip.

Emma hugged the woman. Her therapist fought against the tears, leaned into the hug however.

"It's okay to cry, Regina", she said softly and stroke the womans back. And as if on command, the tears streamed down the psychologists face.

Emma just sat there and held Regina until the tears slowly started to fade.

"I'll put the fire out. You can go lie down in the tent. I'll be there any minute", Emma said and kissed the womans hair crown.

She waited until the brunette had disappeared into the tend and then started to put out the fire.

A few minutes later, she entered the tent as well. In front of her lay Regina, curled under her blanket and looking at Emma from below. Emma knew, that she had never seen Regina this vulnerable before.

Quickly, she slipped under the blanket and switched off the flashlight, leaving the tent in complete darkness. Seconds later, she felt her psychologist approaching her. Emma opened her arms and pulled the woman closer.

Emma's eyes, already used to the darkness, stared directly into brown ones. Their faces only inches apart.

"Good night" Emma whispered.

"Good night" Regina whispered.

And then, Emma mustered all her courage and leaned in, closing the few inches between them.

The kiss was tender and gentle and when Emma pulled back, she could see a small smile on Reginas lips.

The psychologists eyes stayed closed and a few minutes later she had fallen asleep. Emma admired the beauty in front of her for a moment before she closed her eyes and fell asleep too.