The One That Got Away

Chapter 36: Uncertainty

Tinititigan ko lang si Matt habang panay ang kwento niya. Tuwang tuwa niyang ikinukwento ang nakaraang pagkikita nila ng ilang mga kaibigan namin nuon sa Miss Saigon. Nagkwento din siya tungkol sa mga pasyente niya sa ospital. Sa kung paano nagkakalapit ang mga kondisyon nila kay yzian. At madami pang iba. Bumaling ang tingin ko sa mga mata niya. They looked so tired. Maybe because he just got off from his 36hr shift and goes straight here, sino ako para balewalahin ang taong laging nandiyan para saamin ng anak ko ng walang ibang hinihintay na kapalit.

"I missed you, Shin" bumalik ako sa reyalidad ng sinambit niya ang mga iyon.

I smiled and touched his face. "We missed you too." Yes I do. I really do.

He come up to me and give me the tighest hug. "I hope you feel better soon."

"Thank you, Matt. Thank you for everything." I sincerly smiled and gave a kiss on his cheek.

"Anything, for you both." He looked at me straight in the eyes and smiled.

"Will you be there on Yzian's first appointment with doctor Maven?" I asked.

"Ummn...." kumunot ang noo ko.

"I'll be flying to Canada tomorrow. Mom wants me to be with her...For good."

Agad akong napayakap sa kanya ng napakahigpit. My eyes are starting to fill up. Matt has always been my companion since yzian was born. At ngayong aalis na siya dito, sino na ang magiging takbuhan ko?

He tapped my shoulders and hushed me down. "Dont worry, I already  settled everything at the hospital. I assured you, Dr. Maven will never reject our request. Yzian will live longer, and so with you. Mike gave new set of tablets for you. Please stay strong. We believe in miracles right?" Tuloy na tuloy na salita niya habang panay ang iyak ko.

"We believe in miracles right?" He repeated and I nod my head. He gave a kiss in my head and hugged me tighter.

"Yeah.." I silently spoke between my sobs. He let go of the hug and stepped back to get his coat that hung on the rack. He open the door and was about to get out when I remembered something.

"Wait, don't you ever go here, at 11pm after your shift. You looked so nasty it just pissed me a little." I rolled my eyes and I just got a laugh from him.

"Im serious! Ive got a battle in my head a while back if Im going to open the door or not. Dont do that to Margareth. Just dont."

"Nah.. She'll love me still" he stick his tounge out.

"Oh God! Youre now a doctor and you still act like a child" I laughed.

"Bye missy!" He shouted as he started to walk.

"Bavoo!" I shouted back and closed the door.

Kinuha ko yung flowers na binigay niya at inilagay ko iyon sa vase. Kahit papaano unti unti nading nakakamove on ang mokong na yun. Nagulat nalang ako nung bigla siyang nagmessage at sinabing he's on a date with someone. Doctor din daw. At totoo nga, mabuting tao si Matt, at kung hindi ko nakilala si Ian, siguro siya yung pipiliin ko.

My smile immediately froze upon remembering Ian. Its funny how we all ended up here. Nakakatawang isipin na sa lahat ng nangyayaring ito, kami parin ng anak ko yung talo. Pero di na bale, as long as my daugher is with me, Ill be okay. Sana kaya ko pang mas lalong tibayan yung loob ko. Kailangan kong maging malakas para maging sapat ako para sa kanya.

I grabbed the tablets that Matt gave me and immediately went upstairs.

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"Mommy is there sunflowers too in heaven?" Yzian suddenly ask while putting the spoonful of cereals in her mouth.

"Ofcourse sweetheart! Lots of them! They are more beautiful up there!" I smiled as I touched her chin.

"Really mommy? Can we go there? Mommy please? Please mommy!" She put her hands together while her spoon still on it and make a paawa face.

I suddenly felt a pang in my heart. What does she mean about it? Is it just about the sunflowers or the heaven itself? My smile immediately froze. I turned around to hide the different emotions that exploding on me. I immediately wiped the tears that starting to build up and cleared my troat saka humarap sa kanya.

"Baby... why do we need to go to heaven if Nana has beautiful sunflowers na? If we go to heaven pano naman si Nana? Mama Tanya, Si hershey at kitkat? Sinong mag-aalaga sa kanila?" She make a sad face.

"But I wanted to see kuya. I wanted to go up there to hug him and tell him that we missed him so much. I wanted to go to heaven kasi gusto kong makausap si Jesus to heal me na. Because mommy, my heart hurts when you cry."

Her words suprised me. I came up to her and let her sit on my lap. I kissed her head and hugged her tight.

"Listen, diba sabi ni mommy, we can always talk to Jesus naman eh. Say a prayer. Tell all your worries to him. And we dont need to go to heaven to see kuya naman diba?"

She finally smiled and nood her head.

"Do you want to see kuya today?" She nooded.

"Sige finish your food. Then go and tell Nana that we'll go to church then to Kuya's after your check up!" Her face brighten up. She finished all the milk in her bowl and jump off the chair.

Habang nililigpit ko yung pinagkainan namin, sumampa siya sa upuan at bumulong sa akin. "Can I bring toys mommy? Just my baby unicorn"

I playfully slapped her butt and she giggled. "Kaw ha! Yun lang pala pinapakaba mo ako!" Sabay kiliti ko sa kanya.

"Sorry mommy!" She gave me a kiss on the cheeks saka tumalon pababa saka tumakbo papalabas ng bahay.

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Hi! 😂😂