The One That Got Away

Chapter 37: Chasing Pavement

Hola!

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I woke up the next day with the little kisses yzian is giving me. "Mommy are you awake na?" She asked while rubbing her little body against mine.

Kulit! I pretended to snore and pulled the sheets to cover my face like what she always do when she's too lazy to wake up in the morning for her ballet class.

"Mommy naman eh! Sige ka I will make tampo!" I silently giggled under the sheets as I saw how she frowned and crosssed her arms infront of her.

But I didnt make any movements to see what she'll do next.

A few seconds later, "Make suyo mo din ako mommy a!"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at tumawa na ako ng malakas. "Where did you learn that? Kaw talaga kulit!!" I pulled her near me and gave her tingling kisses on her neck. Her laughters filled the room. Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam. It felt like Iam at peace.

"Go get the towel and take a bath na, you stinky little girl! Paamoy nga kay leky leky" I pulled her arms up and smell her underarms. "Yuckyy asimm na baby!" I wrinkled my nose and make the mukasim face. "Duhh mommy! We're now in london kaya! No more yucky smell!"

I raised my left brow on her. "Tong batang to! Wag mo akong dina-duh duh ha! If Nana will hear you sige ka, you will have palo." Paalala ko sa kanya.

"Im sorry mommy." She stood up from the bed and raised her arms indicating that she wants to be carried. "Kaw talagaaa! Kung dika lang cute eh!"

She winked. "I got it from you!" I laughed. "Naman! Go get duckyy duckyy lets go bubble bath!"

Her face immediately lit up and run towards her cabinet and reached for her yellow rubber duckies. Tumayo naman ako mula sa kama at inayos ito. Whenever I see her happy and contented with what she have, dun ko napapagtanto na, all that I've been through was worth it and the things that I'll be doing will be worth it cause I have her.

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I heard little screams and giggles coming from a classic 3storey brick red building. "Mommmeyyy!" I heard a loud squeak from the inside knowing who it was. The window immediately opened and I saw how Shin fixed their white curtain while talking an audible sound at her back. I pressumed Yzian was there. Yepp my baby girl was there. She climed up to the window and played with the snow globes above it while shin is fixing her hair. I wonder why those snow globes are still up? Christmas is way too long, or maybe they dont have time putting them down? Or is baby loves christmas too?? A smile was drawn on my face. I saw how shin squeezes yzian's face and kissed it afterwards...

Napabalingkwas nalang ako at nagtago sa likod ng poste ng biglaang pagtingin ni Shin sa kinarooonan ko matapos niyang maibaba yung bata. She looked from left to right across the street, fortunately, hindi niya ako nakita. Despite the cold wind, sweat was all over my face. Yes, Iam too scared to get caught.

Its been 2 days since I arrived here. Dalawang araw na walang ibang ginawa kundi ang pagmasdan ang naging tahanan ng asawa at anak ko sa loob ng apat na taon. Bitbit ang pag-asang magkakaayos kami ni shin, lumipad ako patungo rito at sinimulang alalahanin ang mga alaalang ipinagkait sa kin ng pagkakataon. Pinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako magpapakita sa kanila hanggat hindi buo sa isipan ko lahat ng nakalimutan ko. And everytime that I came here, I always bring them food. Magdodoor bell saka magtatago ulit. Mahirap. Pero sapat ng makita kong maayos yung mag-ina ko sa ganitong paraan kahit nakakapagod yung patago tago. Natatakot kasi ako eh, na baka pag pumasok nanaman ako sa buhay nila. Maka masaktan ko ulit sila. Baka mas lalo ng lumayo sa akin si shin.

Biglang bumukas yung pintuan at iniluwa iyon ang mag ina ko. Shin's hair put in a messy bun wearing a typical denim jacket with her black leggings and white snickers on holding our little yzian's hand wearing a cute purple tutu and a white top wearing the same colored snickers like her mom and also that little denim jacket. I cant help not to take a photo of them both kahit na hindi sila nakaharap sa akin. Naglakad na sila hanggang sa matapat na sila sa harapan ng bahay ng matandang babae. Nagmano si Shin at Yzian dito at saka kinuha ni yzian ang dala ng matandang babae saka inalalayan naman ito ni Shin sa paglalakad. I wonder who is this old woman in my life too. Parte din ba siya ng buhay ko noon?

Hindi ko namamalayan ay sumakay na sila sa cab. Agad ko namang pinaandar yung sasakyan ko at maingat na sinundan ang mga ito.

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"I'm sorry maam, but Dr. Villegas wouldn't want to accomodate patients right now. If you want, I'll just move your schedule next month." The lady at the reception bowed her head. "...its the best time to come. Just... just dont.. not this time, Im very sorry."

Huminga ako ng malalim at pinakalma ang sarili ko. I looked back at Yzian who was playing peacefully with her unicorn and Nana on her side. Bumalik ang tingin ko sa babae. "I dont know miss if you have already a child, or if youre expecting.. but my daughter needs to be healed as soon as possible. She's all that I have. Please, Dr. Villegas is the only one who could do it! If it will be moved over again, it could lessen the time that I could spent with her. Just please, please do me a favor, for my child.. please." I took both of her hands and pleaded for help. Last night was really tough for yzian. Her lips got pale with heavy breathing. Hindi siya makahinga ng maayos. At ang masakit pa dito, si Ian ang hinahanap niya. Mahirap, masakit. Ni sarili niyang ama pinagkakait ko pa sa kanya.

My thoughts disturbed when the lady rubbed his thumb into the back of my hand. "I'll do what I can do" she smiled at me and went inside.

I went back to where yzian is and hugged her tight. Sa tagal ng paghihintay namin ay nakatulog na ito sa pagkakayakap ko. I dont want to let my child go. Hindi ko na kakayanin pa kung pati si Yzian mawala pa sa akin. 3 hours have been passed and finally the lady came out. She slowly shook her head indicating that she didnt succeeded. In return, I'll just give her a smile and decided to just go back the next day to try my luck. We left the premises of the hospital and decided to go and visit kuya drei drei.

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Sinimulan ko ulit na paandarin yung sasakyan matapos kong makitang papalabas na sila sa ospital. I dont know where they're going next. Medyo malayo layo ito ng konti buildings turned to trees. Laking gulat ko nalang ng pumasok ang sinasakyan nilang cab sa loob ng sementeryo. Sa isip isip ko, sino naman ang bibisitahin nila? Siguro yung asawa ng matanda? O kaibigan ni shin? Napakunot noo akong tinitigan ang palagid. It was a peaceful place. Well maintained. I saw how shin searched something inside her bag while the old lady handed the sunflowers to yzian. Shin opened the gate and it immediately got a curve in her lips. I tried to seach the whole place in my car but it was not enough because the light is too bright so I just decided to come out from the car but someone suddenly came to where they were. A tall white man who gave shin a kiss on her forehead and hugged her tight. My little yzian excitedly hugged the man and played with him. From a far, they looked like a perfect family.

It gave a strong feeling of emptiness in my heart. I cant even move or know what to do next.

That should be me.

I should be the one thats kissing her forehead. I should be the one whom my daugher is excited to see me. I should be the one playing with her and being with them.

That should be me.

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Not yet time to know kuya drei drei's part of the story! Haha