The One That Got Away

Chapter 8: letting it out

Shin walked out from the group and proceeded on the garden of mark's place. To just let it out. She can't stop the tears to flow, the memories to unfold and for her heart that bleeds. She asked herself now a hundred times, "why do I have to feel this pain again??". Her heart crushes again into billion pieces. She just hate to feel the same pain she once felt 4 years ago... Nanghihina siya. Nanggagalaiti. Siya mismo naiinis sa sarili. "I want this to stop.. I want all of these to.. Stop.." She murmured.

Ian on the other hand left there clueless. He doesn't understand what she's been going through. He wanted comfort her. His heart was hurting the moment he saw those tears again. "Shin.." He wanted to hug her and to let her know that everything will be okay. But something in his mind stops him. "Ian, what are you doing??!!". A small voice inside his head speaks. But his frustration took over him. He got all the courage to stand up and followed shin. All the champs followed their look at him. Susunod din sana si sarah sakanila pero pinigilan ito ni erik.

Ian saw shin standing beside the pool. Crying her heart out. He doesn't understand but he's also hurting with her actions.

"Shin.. Are you okay?? Are you okay??" He holds her arm tightly and let her face him.

Shin looked at her arm and freed herself.

"Shin.. Ano bang problema?? Are you okay??" He tried to wipe her tears but shin refuses and moved her face.

"Okay?? Dont ask me if I'm okay, beacause you! Of all people should know that I'm not". She said it loudly without a pause.."you can't just leave and expect that everything will be okay." She continued

"What??.. What are you saying?? May ginawa ba ako sayo??" Nagtatakang tanong ni ian.

"What???" She said in her most irritable voice. "Bullshit Ian!! That's bull shit!!!"
"Bakit mo ako iniwan?" She said almost whispering and the tears starting again to flow. Ian still confused with all the things that she's saying. He also felt like a billion thorns pierced through his heart. Her words affect him. He felt a little bit of anger but he calmed himself down.

"Ano ba yang sinasabi mo?? Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan??" He said and again holds her both arm tightly and again freed herself. She looked directly in his eyes. Tears were still escaping her little eyes.

"Dahil pagod na pagod na akong masaktan!.. Pagod na pagod na akong umiiyak. Minsan, all I have to do is to beg myself not to cry and be brave. Pagod na pagod na akong umasa na balang araw maisipan mong bumalik sa akin.. Pagod na pagod na akong maiwan na Hindi ko maintindihan Kung bakit. Alam mo, kaya kitang hintayin dahil mahal kita, pero napagod yung puso ko. Yung ipinaglaban mo pa siya kasi mahal mo siya.. Pero naisip mong ganun pala kasakit yung sumuko na siya habang ikaw, lumalaban pa. Christian ang dami dami kong tanong sayo, gusto kitang saktan, gustong gusto ko ring I balik yung sakit na I dinulot mo sakin! Christian binigay ko lahat sayo.. Tapos ano? iiwan mo ko sa ereh? Pu...Putang Ina mo". Those words just came out from her mouth dahil na rin siguro sa tindi ng galit niya Kay Ian. Ian on the other hand crying kahit na Hindi niya pa maintindihan lahat ng pangyayari, alam niyang malaking ang naging kasalanan nito sa kanya.