The One That Got Away

Chapter 26: Played By Fate

I just finish packing our things and slid them all in three big luggages. It took me literally whole day packing our stuffs to bring them all back to London.

I took it off of my bed and put it on the line of the two other luggages near the door and took a photo of it. I sighed as I put back my phone on my pocket. I did pretty good. Though it took me too long this time.

I slowly looked around my room and found it so bare because the shelves, cabinet and my vanity were now empty. My old pictures that hung on the wall were only the one that is left just like what I found the day we decided to come home.

Home. I sighed.

This is not our home. We dont belong here anymore.

My thoughts distured when I heard a knock on my door and my dad's genuine smile surprised me.

"...Papa" I whispered like a child that is lost for years and finally her dad found her. Iam fighting the urge to go and hug him tight because honestly, that is what I need.

He pushed the door and moved his wheels closer to me. Hindi na ulit nakapaglakad pa si Papa matapos maparalize ang kalahati ng katawan niya because of his recent heart attack.

"Ready na pala gamit niyo anak, are you sure about this?" He started. I can see the tears thats forming in his eyes. Im sure he's going to miss Yzian a lot.

I cleared my troat to let my voice be still just to show my dad that everything will be alright. That we will be fine.

"Yzian wants to go back home, Papa. Alam mo namang hindi ko matitiis yung anak ko diba?" I looked down at him and let out a faint smile hoping that he will believe the reason behind us going back to london.

"Is this because of Ian?" He suddenly spoke which made me look at him. I was surprised at the mention of his name. Does he know about what happened? Kunot noo ko siyang tinitigan hoping that I could get an immediate reponse to his question.

"...Narinig ko lahat ng pinag-usapan niyo 'nak. The DNA result? Thats why you wanted to go back to London. You wanted to runaway from this, aren't you?" He knew. It hit me hard on the face. It was being laid infront of my eyes already.

"N.....no Pa. Ano ba yang sinasabi mo, walang kinalaman si Ian dito." I crossed my arms infront of me and sat on my bed.

Wala naman na akong pakialam pa sakanya at sa mga gusto niyang gawin sa buhay niya. I already did my part. Umuwi kami sa Pilipinas at nakilala niya yung bata but still he chooses to believe that DNA result. And my child wants to go home, who am I to say no to that?

No matter how cruel the universe was, I just have to keep my head up high, lick my wound and start fighting-- this were my only choice. The choice I have learned to live for a long time now. Talking about feelings- real feelings- just always makes someone appear so needy and foolish and above all, stupid. And I choose not to reduce myself into such stupidity.

"Bat dimo ipaglaban ang karapatan ng anak mo, shin?" Muli niyang tanong. Napatigil ako. That hit me hard. Ive been fighting for so long to save my daughter pero yung karapatan niya bilang anak ni Ian hindi ko magawang ipaglaban.

Pero siguro yun na yung nakatadhana para sa amin. Na iba ang para kay Ian. Na kailanman hinding hindi kami pwedeng maging parte ng buhay niya.

"Sino ako para ipagsiksikan pa ang sarili naming mag-ina kung sa bawat pagkakataon, hindi niya mapanindigan ang mga desisyon niya?" I bitterly spoke as I harshly wiped away the tears thats burning my cheeks.