IMPULSE [KiefLy]

Chapter 3

My body almost gave in to the sensation he was giving me, mabuti na lang at may grupo ng mga estudyante na paparating sa direksyon namin. That was his cue to sit up straight and pretended that he was busy with the movie too.

Dumaan ang bawat araw na palagi kaming magkasama. Oo at naging mabilis ang lahat, pero I enjoyed every minute with him. He has that sense of humor that lightens up my mood. I would laugh even at his corny jokes like there's no tomorrow. But one peculiar thing with him was that he loves talking about the subject of sex. Yes I am open about it cause it was one of my subjects in college, but with Kiefer, it seemed like he woke something up in my womanhood. I was 21, he was 23. Must be the hormones or must it be the curiosity in us, in me particularly, that led us from one thing to another.

October 14, 2007; I was out with my high school classmates, celebrating the feast day of our patron saint. While having dinner, Kiefer kept on texting me with dirty talks and he was insisting me to go out with him.
At walang ka gatol na pumayag ako sa hiling ni Kiefer. Sinundo niya ako sa kung nasaang restaurant kami ng nga kaibigan ko. My friends even teased me being a killjoy for leaving them behind. Of course I made an alibi. I know they'll give me a lengthy sermon if ever they found out about Kiefer. 11 days of knowing him and now he will be taking me to somewhere I don't even have an idea of.

Pagkasakay ko ng kotse saka namang paharurot nito ng mabilis.

"Nagmamadali ba o excited talaga?" biro ko sa kanya. Pinalitan niya sa primera ang takbo saka bumaling sa akin.

"Uhm, pwede bang excited lang na makasama ka? Saka baka makita tayo ng friends mo, hindi ba ayaw mo muna mangyari yun?"

May kung anong ekspresyon sa mukha ni Kiefer na hindi ko mabasa kung ano. Di bale na nga, importante kasama ko siya. Seize the moment, yun na lang.

Pinilit kong ngumiti. "So, saan punta natin Kief?"

"Byaheng langit, Ly." Sabi ni Kiefer na may nakakalokong ngiti sa labi.

"Rooftop? Uy sige, matagal na rin akong hindi nakakapunta doon eh." Sabi ko na parang batang puno ng excitement sa katawan.

"So doon ka pala nakikipagdate ha?" tukso niya sa akin.

"Ano naman yan? Selos lang? Ano ba kasi talaga tayo Kief?" Usisa ko.

"Eh di tao." sabay halakhak niya ng malakas na halos walang katapusan. Hinayaan ko na lang at pinanood siya.

Nang maka recover ay tiningnan niya ako ng matagal. "Basta Ly magugustuhan mo yung pupuntahan natin." Sabay hawak sa kamay ko.

Tipid na ngiti na lang ang naging tugon ko at binaling ang tingin sa daang tinatahak namin.

Happiness. That was the signage of the establishment where the car halted. Kiefer rolled down the window and talked to the guy who came near us.

The place looked like an apartment type, only it was bit smaller than the usual, with roller doors made of metal on each unit. A unit was opened and Kiefer parked the car.  
"Kief, asan ba tayo?" tanong ko sa kanya na busy pa rin sa munting negosasyon sa boy na sumunod sa amin.

"Just get in Ly. Susunod ako." Mando niya sa akin.

And so I did. I was welcomed to a room with a not so enormous bed, a small comfort room, a television, and a small vanity mirror. And in the mirror was a sticker of the signage, "Happiness Motel". Fuck. Motel. Ano pa nga ba ang ginagawa ng isang babae at lalake sa loob ng lugar na ito?

I was pacing back and forth, with so many things on my mind. What to do? How to get out from here.. Just then Kiefer entered the room.

He pinned me in the wall and gave me passionate kisses. The worries I had earlier were automatically pushed at the the back of my head. My mind gave up. My body gave in. I responded to lust, mimicking what Kiefer was doing, as if it wasn't my first time.

And when we were both naked on bed and he was about to penetrate me, Kiefer's phone started ringing. That moment was a wake up call for me. This should not be happening in the first place. I was anticipating that he would stop with what he was doing but to no avail.

His phone rang non stop. So I tried reaching for it on the side table, that was when the caller ID flashed on the screen,  HONEY.

"Fuck. May girlfriend ka? Itigil na natin to Kief. This is wrong." I told him angrily.

"You never asked Ly. At wala na kami. Can we just go back to business?" Iritadong sagot nya.

"No. Ayaw ko na. Tama na." I said almost in tears.

"No din Ly!" pagalit na sabi ni Kiefer. He then spread my legs with full force. And that was when I felt my tears. I pushed him with all my might and ran as fast as I could to the comfort room.

At kung minamalas ka nga naman, sira pa ang lock ng pintuan. Fuck this motel. Happiness my ass. Cheap sake.

And as expected, Kiefer ran after me and tried to pull me back to the bed again. And him being a guy, how could I even win over his strength. I lost..

And that night, I lost my virginity to the guy whom I barely know. That silly crush has cost my womanhood. Stupid.

I did not have the guts to face him, so I turned to the other side and cried silently. I was in pain - physically, emotionally,mentally. Minutes has passed but I did not feel a single movement nor a sound from Kiefer. I tried to sleep, hoping that it would brush off the pain I had..

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