IMPULSE [KiefLy]

Chapter 10

I did not know what magic spell was casted on me or what kind of hypnotism they used on me, but it was too late to realize that I was actually on that abortion clinic.

A woman led me inside at laking gulat ko sa mga naka display sa silid na iyon. There stood a shelf with big jars and on it were different sizes and ages of fetuses. Doon ako nagising sa reyalidad na mali ang lahat ng ito. Na hindi maaaring magtagumpay si Tita Juliet sa gusto niya.

My initiative of course was to escape that disgusting place.

I was about to exit the door when Tita Juliet stopped me, forced me to go back inside, then the woman was quick to inject something on my right arm. That was a sedative for sure.

Laking pasasalamat ko noong mga panahon iyon ay natututo akong uminom ng alak at naging mataas ang tolerance ko sa alcohol. Kaya naman hindi nagtagal ang epekto ng anesthesia sa akin.

Nagising akong nakahiga na sa delivery table and my legs were already positioned in the stirrups. I shivered when I felt the vaginal retractor positioned in my private part as she checked if my cervix was already open.

I had to think of a quick yet effective plan to escape.

Just then I heard a scream from another lady. I tried to reach for the curtain on my left side, I discovered that there was another "patient" behind that curtain.

"'Tora okay na yata to." I heard the assistant told the abortionist.

"Oo sige Nel yan na muna unahin natin." Sagot nung "tora abortionista".

I pretended to be asleep as I scanned carefully if there were other people inside the room. Tita Juliet was already out of sight.

I tried not to make a single sound as I stood up and walked to the door. I felt some light headedness yet I had to move fast before someone might caught me.

Fortunately, I was able to get out of that sinful place successfully. As soon as I reached my car, my tears started streaming. I touched my tummy and heaved a sigh of relief.

"I'm so sorry baby, I was too weak that I almost lost you. From now on I will be stronger to fight anything. It will be you and me always." I said and caressed my tummy.

When acknowledgement and acceptance came naturally, it felt like a heavy load had been removed from my chest.

I didn't want to keep a grudge on Tita Juliet, yet it was too hard to accept, more so to forgive. No reason could ever justify her action. But I had to move on with that bad memory. Suppressing it helped me somehow.

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I spent my remaining days in Manila bonding with my close friends. No one knew about my situation. Well except for Ella.

Mahirap nga atang itago ang isang bagay lalo na sa pinakamatalik na kaibigan at lalo pa na parehas kami ng propesyon.

She invited me for a lunch date the moment she knew about my plan of moving to Batangas. Kakapasok ko pa lang ng milktea shop ay bigla na lang niya ako hinila saka bumulong ng "Besh yung totoo buntis ka o buntis ka?" na tila ay excited pa.

"Ano ba yan besh wala namang choices sa tanong mo eh!" Pabiro kong dabog sa kanya.

"Kasi nga kinoconfirm ko na eh." Napasandal pa siya sa upuan na kunwari ay nagiisip ng malalim.

Napansin niya atang nagbago ang timpla ng mood ko. Kaya bigla siyang napayakap sa akin ng mahigpit, telling me that everything will be fine.

"Uy besh ano ka ba you know naman I won't judge you for anything. Kung kailangan mo ng kahit ano alam mong andito ako." Sabay pisil niya sa dalawa kong kamay nang hinarap niya ako.

"Drama besh ah? I had too much of that na. Umiba lang pakiramdam ko dahil may naamoy ako na hindi ko ma pinpoint eh." Pag explain ko sakanya.

"Grabe besh alam ko galing akong duty pero okay pa naman amoy ko ah." Defensive na sabi niya kaya parehas kaming napahagalpak ng tawa.

And there will never be a dull moment when you are with someone who fully accepts your whole being and willing to understand despite all your shortcomings.
Someone who will just listen but won't judge, will give advice but won't dictate.

Lahat nang nangyari ay kinuwento ko kay Ella. Nabunutan ako ng tinik sa dibdib dahil sa wakas ay nailabas ko na lahat, dagdag pa ang mga pasundot na biro ng aking kaibigan.

5pm came and Ella had to go ahead to do some errands. Von was the one who fetched her so I had to go a separate way. I did not want any connection with Kiefer anymore. Ella understood my reason so we bade our goodbyes and promised to catch up again when time allows.

But destiny must really have its way to twist one's fate.

Because I had to take another path to avoid the possibility of seeing Von, I decided to go to the department store instead of going straight to the parking lot.

I was just looking on random stuff just to kill time. It was too early to buy things for my baby anyway. So I thought of going to the bookstore.

Itutulak ko na sana ang glass door nang may mahagip ang mga mata ko. Huli na para umatras dahil nagtama na rin ang mga mata namin.

Tatalikod na sana ako nang mapigilan niya.

"Ly, maaari ba tayong magusap? Please.. Kahit ito na ang huli, pumayag ka naman na."

I saw sincerity in his eyes. Maguusap lang naman kami. Aalis na rin naman ako kaya ito na talaga ang huli.

I would much rather look back and say "I'm glad I did it" than say "What if." Yun ang tumakbo sa utak ko kaya pinagbigyan ko si Kiefer.

Pumayag man ako ay may pagpipilian naman akong makinig at maniwala o makinig pero walang magbabago.

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