IMPULSE [KiefLy]

Chapter 2

The Nurse handed me the consent paper,  a form that a patient agrees to undergo a series of laboratory examinations and procedures. That is to know how severe the degree of my illness is and if I am a candidate for surgery.

"Ma'am Ly, balikan ko na lang po mamaya yung form. Doc Ravena, I'll be in the nurse's station lang po."

"Thank you." sabay naming sabi ni Kiefer.

Sa pag alis ng nurse, siya namang pagpasok ng mga magulang ko sa kwarto. Kief, Karys and I gave them kisses on their cheeks. Maybe my parents felt  that Kiefer wanted some private talk with me, so they invited Karys to go to the cafeteria and have some snacks with them.

"Dad, Mum we'll be back in a bit. Don't argue, okay?"

"We won't Princess, have fun with Lolo and Lola." Kiefer said.

"Alright. Love you Mum!"

"Mommy, I said love you."

"Mommy loves you too anak, and Daddy too." Kiefer answered.

And we were left alone in the room. Silence enveloped us until Kiefer spoke.

"Ly, sabi ng anak natin kanina I love you raw, she said it twice, you did not even bother to respond."

I covered both my ears. Inhaled deeply then exhaled. I turned my face to Kiefer.

Loss of hearing. Snap. Another symptom.

"Kief, I did not hear anything kanina. But I lip read what Karys said.. Kief, I'm scared."

Kiefer hugged me and caressed my back. "Ly, kailangan mo nang mag desisyon. Let's not wait for any worse scenario. Have you seen how you got Karys worried? Decide for our daughter's sake. Please Ly.. Kung pwede ko lang akuin yang nararamdaman mo, matagal ko ng ginawa."

"Karma ko to Kief. Too bad Karys has to suffer the consequences." Kiefer wiped my cheeks and hugged me even tighter.

"Pareho tayong nagkasala. Hindi na rin natin maibabalik kung ano nangyari noon. But we could still fix our future Ly, we could, you could."

I pulled away from the hug and tapped his shoulder. "Sige na Kief, I want to rest na muna. We will talk about this again. Gusto ko lang ipahinga ang ulo ko."

"What's wrong? Sumasakit na naman ba? You can have a stat pain medication naman Ly." Sabi nya habang minamasahe ang ulo ko.

"Okay lang ako Kief. Gusto ko lang magpahinga. I'll press the call button to the station if I need something. Visit your other patients na." I told him convincingly.

"You sure you'll be okay ha. Pabalik na rin siguro sina Karys." I nodded in agreement. He walked towards me and kissed my forehead.

As soon as the door shut close, I covered my mouth with pillows and screamed as silently as I could. Here goes the unbearable pain again.

Meningioma. I was diagnosed with meningioma a year ago. Tumors in the brain and now it has spread to my spine. It all started with episodic headaches, then grew gradually unbearable and unresponsive to common over the counter pain medications.

Doctors said it is something hereditary, a case of hormonal imbalance, or a result of my lifestyle. If only I could turn back time..

Blurring of vision, muscle weakness, seizures. These are the symptoms I have felt over a year. Then awhile ago, an episode of loss of hearing. But the most dreadful symptom I'm praying that won't happen is loss of memory. Specifically, after surgery.

Karys. My Karys. I can't bear the thought that I can possibly forget my own daughter. Hindi man siya planado, but she is my life. She is the best blessing that I have. For the past nine years, it has always been Karys and me.

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October 2, 2007; we were in a bar,  having the time of our lives. The usual spot, usual companions, and with unlimited liquors to heat up those throats up. Everything was routinary, well except for that one guy who caught my attention. His friends were the loud and flirty type, but this guy was timid and quiet the whole time. 

Or so I thought.

I decided to went ahead at 2am because I had to attend my 7am review classes, with hangover that is.

I had to struggle with review that day, battling with headache and lack of sleep. But despite it, the memory of that mysterious guy just won't get off my mind. I want to know him. I need to know him.

I texted my friend Ella, who I know hooked up with one of the mysterious guy's friend.

From Ella:

besh, sure ka ba? parang tuod naman yun eh. baka kasi bading hindi ka type. ni isa sa atin hindi tayo pinansin eh.

I laughed at Ella's reply, well that's for me to know. And I'm gonna prove her wrong.
And because what Alyssa wants, Alyssa gets.

One day I just found myself happily exchanging text messages with Kiefer- that mysterious guy. From text buddies to phone pals. I enjoyed every minute talking to him. He's funny, naughty and a bit green minded. Well I would often shrug off dirty talks whenever  I am with friends in the medical field. It's natural with our chosen field anyway.

But when it came to Kiefer, it was a different thing. My mind and body would respond to those green jokes. I would even crack a joke to him. I would even search on internet on words that he uses on me. Strange, but I got even more curious every single bit.

Our dates were the usual food trips and road trips. Until one day he invited me to watch a movie.

While in the cinema, he would simply hold my hand or put his arms around my shoulder. So I just let him.

I was so engrossed with the movie when I suddenly felt his hand making its way inside my shirt. I reacted and looked at him, but he just smiled and whispered "It's okay, be quiet." I froze at that very moment, what should I do?

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