IMPULSE [KiefLy]

Chapter 14

I felt like I had been sleeping for how many hours already. I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a few more to be able to fully adjust.

I heard some voices and the sound of clipping metal instruments. I realized I was in the Operating Room with a quite number of medical staff. I remembered about the caesarean section that I would undergo. I tried to keep myself awake because I was so eager to hear the first cry of my baby.

Time ticked too fast when I heard the nurse said "baby girl out 2:15pm." And then another voice said "Doc. Ramirez, the baby is unresponsive!" With a sense of urgency in her voice.

I panicked upon hearing that. I wanted to talk and know the details yet I was weak to do so. My eyelashes felt too heavy and the anesthesia lulled me back to sleep.

The sun was still up as it beamed its rays by the window pane. I tried to gauge if the anesthesia had worn out its effects. I knew I was still in the Recovery Room so I sought for anybody's attention.

"Uhm, excuse me? Nurse?" I called out in a groggy voice.

She hurriedly came near my bed. "Good morning Ma'am Valdez, gising na po kayo." She greeeted.

"Yung baby ko po?" I asked her. I badly want to see my baby that time and know if she was okay.

"Nasa NICU po yung baby ninyo. Let me check you first Ma'am." I nodded in reponse. She asked me to raise my lower extremities alternately and also checked my gag reflex to know if anesthesia had already worn off.

"Ly, kinailangan na namin buksan. Nag seizure ka kanina. Pag naulit baka isa sa inyo hindi mag survive. You know the protocol." Doc. Ramirez explained as she made her visit in the Recovery Room.

"I know Doc. Thank you po. I hope my baby will be okay. Can I be transfered out na po?" I asked while she was checking my ice pack.

"You're cleared to be trans out. I'll just make the orders Ly. I'll see you tomorrow." sabay paalam niya.

And then I was transferred to a private room.

On my second post-operative day, I was encouraged to have early ambulation to avoid any complications. I had to fight the post-op pain. The will to see my baby won over the physical pain I experienced that time.

My Dad assisted me on a wheelchair and off we went to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The moment I laid my eyes on her, I felt tears fell on my cheeks. She was inside the incubator with a number of tubes and IV lines attached to her. How I wanted to hold her in my arms but I could not do anything at that moment. I slid my hand in an opening and stroke my baby's hand.

I felt my Dad caressed my back. I was about to pull out my hand when I felt my baby took a tiny grip of my finger.

"Dad! You saw that? Pinisil niya daliri ko! Oh my God!" Masayang sabi ko.

"Oo anak. Kaya tahan na, okay? Hindi natin mamalayan, babalik tayo dito para sunduin siya at iuwi na kasama natin." Sabi ni Daddy na puno ng buhay at positibo. Napayakap naman ako.

"Ay excuse me Ma'am, Sir, visiting hours is almost up na po." The nurse informed.

Let's go anak. We'll visit again tomorrow." Pagyaya sa akin ni Daddy.

I touched the frame of the incubator again. "I'll see you tomorrow Kaeden Audrisse, my little warrior." I murmured as I controlled my tears.

My Dad assisted me back to my room. Gustuhin ko mang ilagay ang pangalan ni Kiefer sa birth certificate ng aming anak ay pinili ko ng hindi. Respeto ko na rin yun sa mga magulang ko.

I was discharged the next day but Karys had to complete the number of days until she will be matured enough to live outside the incubator.

Mabigat man sa pakiramdam ngunit ay kailangan. Walang mintis ko siyang dinadalaw sa ospital kasabay na rin ng araw araw na pagsimba at pagdarasal.

And true to her name, Karys is indeed a fighter. I finally brought her home with me,  healthy and free from complications. My preemie fighter had been my strength yet my weakness at the same time.

I had my fair share of struggles with raising her. Being a young and single mom was not an easy role neither will you learn everything overnight. There were times that I would end up crying with her or I'd end up feeling so hopeless and helpless.

Mabuti na lang ay naroon ang mga magulang ko upang gabayan ako. Malaking tulong rin ang presensiya ni Manang Lydia, katuwang ko siya sa lahat.

But once you get the hang of it ay natural na lang ang lahat ng gagawin mo. At bawat minuto ay tila isang kayamanan na habang buhay mong itatago at pangangalagaan.

After six months of maternity leave, I decided to go back to work. At sa pagbalik ko ay mas naging abala at mas marami akong naging resposibilidad. Kailangan kong habulin ang mga nabinbin kong trabaho.

Naging mas madalas ako sa field, nagiikot ikot sa mga eskwelahan, health centers at mga ospital upang i-promote ang mga programa ng DOH.

Tiring yet fulfilling. That had been my routine.

Habang lumalaki si Karys ay hindi maipagkakaila na si Kiefer nga ang kanyang ama. Para silang pinagbiyak na bunga. Girl version ika nga.

Karys had routinary pediatrician visits. Mas mainam na iyon para makasigurado sa kung ano pa man.

Buhat buhat ko noon si Karys pagkagaling ng pedia clinic habang nakasunod naman si Manang Lydia sa amin nang may narinig akong tumawag ng pangalan ko.

"Alyssa?"

Isang pamilyar na boses na matagal ko nang hiniling na sana'y hindi ko na marinig ulit.

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