IMPULSE [KiefLy]

Chapter 5

"D--dad.." ang tanging naisagot ko.

"Sino siya! Kailan ka pa natutong magdala ng lalake dito? Kaya ka ba bumukod dahil sa lalaking yan?" Sunod sunod na sigaw ng Daddy.

"Si-sir..." Sabi ni Kiefer na halatang may takot na rin sa boses niya.

"Alyssa! Kinakausap kita!" Giit ni Dad.

"Si Kiefer po Dad, uhmm, b-boyfriend ko po." Ano na naman ba itong pinasok mo Ly!

Halatang nagulat si Kiefer sa sinabi ko, kaya't kinurot ko siya sa kanyang tagiliran sabay bulong ng "Makisakay ka na lang please."

"Uhm, Kiefer Ravena po Sir." Sabay abot niya ng kanang kamay kay Dad.

Hindi ito tinanggap ni Dad, bagkus ay sabi,  "Alyssa, mag impake ka at sa bahay ka na ulit tumira. At ikaw lalake, sa bahay ka umakyat hindi dito na nag-iisa ang anak kong babae. And that's final! I'll see you both for dinner at home." Giit niya sa amin bago tumalikod at lumisan.

Bago pa man makapag react si Kiefer ay inunahan ko na siya, "Sorry kung naipit ka.Hindi mo na kailangan sumama pa sa akin. Ako na ang bahala mag paliwanag."

"I'm going with you and we'll face your family. Kasalanan ko rin naman na umabot pa to sa ganito."

At dahil nag volunteer din naman siya ay nagpasalamat na rin ako. Lumaki ako na ang parehong magulang ko ay aktibo sa organization sa simbahan. Hindi ko sila pwedeng bigyan ng kahihiyan. Kung kailangan kong takpan ang kasalanan ng isa pang kasalanan, bahala na. Saka ko na haharapin.

I had to go back to my parents home that night along with Kiefer and we started our so called "relationship". Dala na rin siguro ng pressure ay nagpatianod si Kiefer sa aming munting palabas.

I got to know more of him in the ample amount of time that we spent together. His mom died when he was 8 years old due to an illness. His Aunt Juliet, the twin of his Mom served as a second mother to him and his siblings. His dad was forced to have an early retirement as a navy for some reasons. Money had been an issue for them since then. He needed to stop school when he was in third year college to give way to his older brother who was taking a course in nursing. Sinakripisyo siya dahil pagdating ng panahon ay siya naman ang pag aaralin ng kuya niya. Isa pa ay may bunso pa silang babae na nasa sekondarya noon. At dahil natigil siya ng pag aaral ay napilitan siyang mag trabaho bilang ahente sa isang kumpanya ng mga sasakyan.

He had dreams of becoming a physician,but because of financial constraints, he was forced to choose an alternative.

Everytime I would have my self review at home, Kiefer would always show interest with my lessons. I would always encouraged him back then to enroll yet he would just shrug off the idea. Unti unti ay naging malapit kami ni Kiefer. At hindi ko namalayang unti unti na rin akong nahuhulog sa kanya - ulit. Deeper this time.

He may have not confessed nor said anything, but I just assumed, according to the signals he had been giving me the whole time. Screw those assumptions.

December came and I took the board exams. Fortunately results came out few days before Christmas, and I passed. I thought that would be the best Christmas then..

I went grocery shopping with my Mom for the holidays when something caught my attention in the supermarket. I saw Kiefer holding hands with a girl and happily talking with her. More than feeling hurt, I felt worried that my Mom will see Kiefer so I needed to distract her. When they were finally out of my sight, that was when hurt and betrayal sank in to me.

Did I even had the right to be hurt? Kiefer always had a choice to stop seeing me and be with that girl. Yet he did otherwise..

My parents decided to spend our holidays in Batangas, that gave me enough reason to be away from Kiefer. As much as I wanted to confront him right away, ay hahayaan ko na lang muna. Baka kailangan ko lang ng oras para sa sarili ko.

Sa buong panahon na nasa Batangas kami ay mabibilang ko lang rin kung ilang beses lang ako sinubukang kontakin ni Kiefer. That was then I felt empty. Pakiramdam ko ay nagamit ako. Na napakarumi kong babae. Na isa akong mababang uri at walang halaga. Nawala ang aking kumpyansa at respeto sa sarili.

Those realizations hit me. I needed Kiefer. I needed him to give back what I lost,  what he has taken from me. My self respect and confidence. He destroyed me, so he had to rebuild me.

The moment we went back to Manila, my parents asked me to fix my professional license and all the stuff I needed. Of course they were too excited and proud of me.

The whole time that I was in the PRC office and doing my errands, I felt that someone was staring heavily at me. I scanned the room but I didn't recognize any familiar face.

As soon as I stepped out of the office when I was done, a girl attacked me, grabbed my hair and cursed me non-stop. A security guard hurriedly came to rescue to stop our little scene.

"Hoy ano bang problema mo at bigla ka na lang nanunugod babae ka?" Sigaw ko sa babaeng walang balakang.

"Mang-aagaw ka! Hitad! Malandi! Tantanan mo ang boyfriend ko!" Puno ng galit na sigaw niya sa akin.

"Teka nga, sino ka ba at sino bang boyfriend na tinutukoy mo?" Sigaw ko rin. Nakakaubos ng energy ang babaeng ito ah.
"Ako lang naman si Mika!" Buong yabang niyang sabi.

"At ako ang girlfriend ni Kiefer. So pwede ba Alyssa dumistansya ka at alamin mo kung saan ka dapat lumugar." Duro niya sa akin.

Tumalikod ako dahil naguunahang tumulo ang mga luha ko. Fuck you Kiefer.

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