REDAMANCY

Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen
-
Apricity
(n.) the warmth of the sun in winter
-

"I'm just another human being, who's been through a ton of shit, just like you." Yoongi replied.

He said this, in a pathetic attempt to comfort Jimin, but more so to comfort himself. The pain he'd felt all these years, bottled up, had suddenly become uncorked like a bottle of soju. The strong, sweet, first taste of trying to let go and look ahead, then the sourness of the decision. Yoongi was well accustomed to the bitterness of the aftertaste, burning his throat whenever he tried to say something.

"Just what exactly?" Jimin whispered from the embrace he was locked in.

Yoongi closed his eyes and exhaled deeply before drawing back, his hands on either side of Jimin, staring into the younger's dark and almost lifeless looking eyes.

And then Yoongi felt it. Fear. He was afraid. Afraid of Jimin, to be precise. Afraid that Jimin was everything he wanted and everything he despised, and that the future he'd wanted to carve for himself was going to spiral into an uphill battle of emotions.

It was too complicated for him to wrap his mind around, but he knew that being with Jimin wasn't a good idea. Yet, despite his thoughts of never wanting to see the guy again, he couldn't help but crave Jimin's presence. He hated himself for it.

"I thought you wanted to go." Was all he said back. Go while you can. His body refused to move, and kept Jimin locked in the comforting embrace. Hurry. Run and remove me from your life. It was a mistake to meet.

"I do want to go." Jimin replied. "But I want to have answers first."

"Why?" Yoongi pressed. He wanted to push Jimin to the edge, just like Jimin had done to him. Push him off the cliff, but keep a firm grip on his hand. He wanted to be in control, the one with the say in how emotions ran. "Why the hell would you bother with someone like me?"

"Because there's no one else who bothered with me." Jimin blurted out. "Damn it, Yoongi, I've started to fall for you, and you've only given me one lame reason to."

"You've—?" Yoongi was taken aback. Jimin seized that opportunity to pull away, the moment of warmth cut off bluntly by another icy gust of wind. Jimin's hood slipped down, but he hardly seemed to notice.

"Yes." He narrowed his eyes. "And I hate it. I don't even know you. You could be some criminal on probation, a con man, maybe even a North Korean spy. And somehow I've managed to get myself tangled up in your life."

"It was you that came into mine." Yoongi replied.

"But you were the one who found me on the street that day." Jimin fired back. "You could've just ignored me. You already knew what I was feeling the minute you and I made eye contact. Why did you meddle?"

"And have you hit by a car?"

"Sounds more ideal than trying to sort out every emotion I'm feeling right now."

Jimin didn't wait for a response. He turned and bolted.

"Park Jimin!" Yoongi yelled, taken aback once more.

The boy didn't turn once as he ran down the sidewalk.

And much to his own surprise, Yoongi found himself pursuing Jimin. His footsteps were loud and disoriented, much like his current thoughts. He ran after Jimin, having never felt more desperate for another's presence than he did right at this moment.

He knew it was selfish, trapping Jimin in a situation the latter didn't want to be in. He was shocked that Jimin even liked such a 2-dimensional person like him— of all people.

But he as scared as he was of Jimin's presence -so much so that he might break down- he was scared of losing whatever small connection they had.

Because Yoongi desperately wanted to be loved by someone.

Suddenly Jimin abruptly stopped, allowing Yoongi to catch up to him. Yoongi nearly collapsed, his hands on his knees, gasping for breath, nearly choking on the icy air that creeped into his lungs.

"Jimin..." He said, straightening up again, and trying to get his thoughts sorted.

Jimin was still facing away, hands hidden in the sleeves of his hoodie, still as a statue.

"Jimin!" Yoongi was exasperated.

Suddenly Jimin whirled around and flung himself at Yoongi.

In the shock of the moment, Yoongi could only stand there as lips met his own, and warmth seeped through his body. He involuntarily closed his eyes.

And then they were gone, just as quickly as they'd come, and Jimin had stepped back to give him one last look. Yoongi opened his eyes and stared back, heart pounding like crazy.

Then Jimin was gone, his retreating form as quick as the moment had been, and Yoongi was left standing there in utter shock, rendered speechless.

-

thanks for 200 reads !!
+ I'm currently going through old chapters and fixing things so they go with the plot more

-