REDAMANCY

Twenty Nine

Chapter Twenty Nine
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Affliction
(n.)  something that causes
pain or suffering
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"What's got you all smiley like that?" Jungkook asked curiously as the two sat on Jimin's bed studying, textbooks and papers scattered everywhere.

"Nothing, nothing." Jimin dismissed quickly, instantly turning the corners of his mouth down into a relaxed state.

"I've never seen you smile like that before. Tell me." The maknae pressed.

"Well..." Jimin smiled dreamily, making Jungkook feel sick. "Yoongi may or may not have confessed to me."

Jungkook's face blanked and he stared at his friend. "...What?"

"Yoongi and I went to get coffee earlier." Jimin said. "And he confessed to me."

"Hold on a second." Jungkook said in confusion. "Yoongi as in that park pedo? The one who made you all lovesick?"

"Jungkook stop, he's not a park pedo." Jimin sighed. "I'm 18 and he's newly 20."

"Jimin you hardly know this guy..." Jungkook was miffed. "What's happened that Tae and I don't know about?"

"A lot." Jimin was irked. "Listen, the only reason you're here is because I'm trying to convince my mom I've got my life together. Other than that we're still not on good terms."

"I didn't mean to tell him about Daehyun without your permission. Damn it just kind of slipped out in the moment, ok?"

"It could've ruined things!"

"Well it didn't, clearly evidenced by this guy confessing to you! Haven't you learned from Daehyun?"

Jimin dropped the packet he held and grabbed the plush fabric of Jungkook's black hoodie, pulling the younger harshly to him.

"Listen here, brat." He snarled, his usually high and energetic voice now low. "Don't bring Daehyun up around me like that. He's not some excuse you can pull out of your bag when you've run out of others."

"Screw you." Jungkook gave Jimin a rough shove. "I'm just trying to be a good friend."

"Thanks but stop," Jimin got up and looked over at Jungkook, his eyes hooded. "Because I don't need your advice. Daehyun is nothing but a mistake. Yoongi is a person who means well. I love him."

"Right." Jungkook's tone was acidic as he got up as well, hastily shoving his papers and books into his worn black backpack. "I'll just leave you to believing the sweet words of older men who want nothing more than to get you in bed so they can try their kinky shit and fantasies on you."

"Shut the fuck up Jeon Jungkook," Jimin snapped. "You're one fakeass person to be calling yourself my best friend."

"Great. I'll revoke my friendship card." Jungkook gave Jimin a brief once-over and sniffed. "Besides... I can see why guys would only want to fuck you. Apart from your body, your personality is about as needy and flat as it gets. I wasted a lot of time being friends with someone like you."

Jimin was rendered silent and could only watch as Jungkook turned heel and slammed his door shut, his footsteps thundering with rage down the stairs. The familiar sound of the front door slamming was enough to send chills down his back.

A bit perplexed as to what to do next, he collapsed on his bedroom floor, willing tears of shock and loss not to fall. Willing himself to keep it together.

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With shaking hands, he dialed Yoongi's number.

Jungkook may think I'm needy but I can't help it. I need people. Just as much as they need other people. I think it's normal to crave company.

The phone was dialing now. And dialing.

"Hey..." His heart went ablaze only to stop seconds later. "You've reached the voicemail of yours truly, Min Yoongi. At the tone, leave a message. I'm probably sleeping or drinking but I'll get back to you." Beep.

"Hi..." Jimin said hesitantly. Feelings of worry, guilt, embarrassment, and annoyance creeping over him. "I'm just calling to, you know, I don't know... Um. Well I just wanted to know if... well."

A wave of anxiety washed over him. What if Jungkook was right? Had he been entranced by Yoongi's sweet lies and innocent demeanor? Was everything Yoongi had said just synonymous to Daehyun's sweet actions? Yoongi— the sweet and quiet guy he wanted desperately to love at his fullest, did that guy want nothing more than for Jimin to be a bed accessory?

He ended the call quickly and curled up in a ball, his heart pounding. He'd let himself fall too in love, hadn't he? He'd led Yoongi into his love maze and ran ahead, thinking that just maybe the older would follow after him.

"I'm scared," He whispered. "I want to believe your words but my thoughts say differently."

Dinner was quiet that night. Since he'd snapped at his mom, things had been tense between the two of them. Jimin sat awkwardly across from her, quietly poking at the pile of rice and chicken with his chopsticks.

His mother drew in a long irritated breath and pushed her chair away. "I'll wash the dishes, just leave yours there when you're done." She said.

Jimin stared as she retreated to the living room. She'd only eaten half of what she'd divvied up for herself. Jimin knew her appetite became imbalanced when she was stressed or worried. She must be really worried for him.

Ever since Mrs. Park found out about his and Daehyun's relationship, she'd been fairly accepting- of Jimin's sexuality, not Daehyun, seeing as she'd found out about them in one of the worst ways. Jimin presumed she had many questions about him, but she kept them at bay to respect his getting over Daehyun.

Swallowing the tasteless chicken and rice, he told himself he wanted to be strong for her. Somehow make it up to her. Finishing the year strong was more important than proving he was socially happy. Good academics got you into college, not friends and certainly not a boyfriend.

After finishing the rest of his food, he brought all the dishes into the kitchen and washed them all, scrubbing fiercely. He wished he could scrub out his problems like he could scrub out excess food. He wished his problems would disappear into a drain like the soapy water did. He wished he could disappear too.

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Short chapter ik, but after Monday morning
I'll be on summer break! Super ready.

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